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Anonymous writes…

Dear Beloved By Him
I’m a young christian and need some advice. My boyfriend of 9 months and I just broke up. His parents just got divorced and its been really hard on him. He feels he can’t be in a relationship at the minute. We both love each other and he told me he still has feelings for me so this is even harder as we can’t be together. I am upset but I’m also worried about him. He says he’s trying to hold himself together and be close to God but is struggling. I really want to support and be there for him but obviously he doesn’t want to see me right now because he’s upset about us breaking up. He also told me that we should break up because he can’t have me waiting on him because he knows its hurting me. It’s all very confusing and I don’t know what God has planned for the future. I need help to get through this.

Beloved By Him replies…

Dear Jennifer,

I’m sorry you’re going through a difficult time, but I can promise you that God is going to use it for good in your life (Rom. 8:28). Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation that we didn’t anticipate or had hoped would have a different outcome, but it doesn’t work out that way. These are times when we have to choose to draw close to God and trust in Him more than we trust ourselves and our feelings (Prov. 3:5-6). It’s a really hard thing to do, but it’s the only thing that will bring us the victory of glorifying God, which is our highest calling and privilege.

It’s hard to let go of people we’ve loved and cared about. Some of these people had a great influence on our lives for a season, and we’re not quite ready to think about how we will go on without them. It’s painful, and it takes time to heal. We need to take time to sit at the feet of Jesus and be ministered to by the Holy Spirit and the Word. Nothing can fill that empty place the way that He can. His are the only words of life, and they will heal us and make us whole again (John 6:68, Ps. 107:20). You can find comfort in the promise of Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they will walk and not be weary, they will run and not faint.”

This is a time to increase your faith, and the way to do that is to be in the Word (Rom. 10:17). Faith in God brings strong confidence, assurance in God’s unchanging character, and the resolve to continue to walk with God through difficult times (I John 5:4, Prov. 14:26, Phil. 4:13). His word promises that the path of a Christian gets brighter with time, as we get closer to Him (Prov. 4:18). We know that His plans for us are good, and that He is working in us His will and His good works that He created before time for us to do (Jer. 29:11, Phil. 2:13, Eph. 2:10).

I know that this is hard for you, but try to look at things from God’s eternal perspective. While He comforts those who mourn and keeps a record of even our tears (Matt. 5:4, Ps. 56:8), He also promises that our trials and troubles have a more important, and unseen, outcome:
“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!” (II Cor. 4:17, NLT)

God never stops working on our behalf, and nothing can separate us from His love (Rom. 8:28-38). He is a powerful and mighty God, and can be trusted to give us everything we need to continue on and live a godly life (Ps. 18:2, II Peter 1:3). When doubt and sadness come in and try to overwhelm you, resist the temptation to give in to them, and instead claim God’s promise to hide and protect you by His love (Is. 59:19, Ps. 91:15-16).

Follow the advice of Isaiah 55:6, “Seek the Lord while He may be found, call upon Him while He is near.” God is calling us to seek Him so that He can reveal His glory and hope to us (Ps. 27:8). Jesus is the One who has the grace and truth we need, and He is our victory in this life and the next (John 1:14, 16:33). The Holy Spirit will comfort us, remind us of the scriptures we need to renew our minds, and pour His love out into our hearts (John 14:6, 26, 16:7, Rom. 12:1-2, 5:5). In God, you have everything you need to walk through this valley and find rest for your soul.

Jennifer, you are so loved. Keep pressing on to what Christ has laid hold of for you (Phil. 3:12). I pray that you will allow God to give you His peace that passes understanding, and let Him give you rest as well (Matt. 11:28, Phil. 4:7). Let yourself draw near to God, and His word promises that He will draw near to you (James 4:8). That’s the best place we can be, no matter what is going on in our lives. Stay strong in Him, sister. We love you.

Love,

Beloved by Him