I’m 13. My mom won’t let me have a boyfriend.
Submitted by admin on May 29, 2008 – 4:05 am6 Comments
Anonymous said.. I am thirteen years old. A boy in school asked me to be his girlfriend. My mom says that I am not allowed to start dating or have a boyfriend until I am sixteen. I feel like I am mature enough to have a boyfriend now. I don’t understand why I have to wait. I feel like she is being over protective and treating me like a baby. I don’t want to disobey her or God but I really like this boy. What should I do?
Answer: You are a precious and beautiful child of God. Don’t you worry! God has a wonderful plan for you life. When the time is right and when you are ready He will send the perfect man for you into your life.
At thirteen years you are just starting to become a woman. Your body is changing and your hormones are going crazy. Allow yourself time to grow and mature before you put yourself in a situation that you are not ready for. By starting to have boyfriends at such an early age you are opening the doors to so many additional temptations. There is enough on your plate with all the other peer pressure that you will begin to experience soon, if you have not already. Keep your focus on your studies.
Respect and honor your mother’s rule. You will thank her later. Most of all trust God and ask him to help you honor your mother’s request. He will give you the words you need to let this boy down gently. I pray you do the right thing.
Read:Galations 6:9
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Sweet Sister,
I am so sorry that you are going through this heart ache with this crush. It sounds like you have spent a lot of time thinking and imagining having a relationship with this young man. Now you are jealous and coveting this new relationship. This is a case of meditating too much on the wrong thing.
We can not spend our time day dreaming or wishing for material things or people. As believers we have to be in control of our thoughts and bring them under submission to the Word of God. This means that when we have bad or impure thoughts that we need to rebuke and reject these wrong thoughts and think good things. Confess the Word of God over your thoughts.
Tell yourself out loud, “I will not be jealous or envious about this relationship. I will stop meditating on (his name). I love Jesus and He is the lover of my soul. I give Him all of my heart and devotion. Thank you Jesus that you have given me the power to overcome these thoughts. I can not do it alone. You are my strength. You give me self control and the ability to overcome these thoughts. I will not think about this guy any more. In Jesus name…Amen”
You will be surprised how quick these thoughts that try to bombard your mind will flee. Try spending more time reading the Word of God. Ask our Lord to teach you to love Him even more. Tell our Lord that you want Him to have your devotion and your thoughts.
You are still quite young. You will see that the time will come where you will meet the man that our Lord has for you, but you first need to seek the kingdom of God. Put Him first and you will see that everything else will fall right into place. He is your number one priority. Allow the Word of God to consume your mind instead of thoughts of this young man.
Pray before you go around him and ask our Lord to give more power and self-control to help while you in His presence. You may need to try to not be around this young man if the feelings and thoughts are too much. I know the Lord will see you through this. He already is because you are seeking counsel. You will overcome this..in Jesus name.
“Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8
“You CAN do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you!” Philippians 4:13
“You can bring your thoughts under submission!” 2 Corinthians 10:5
THE BATTLE IS IN THE MIND!!!
God bless you my sister..
I’ve like this guy for soooo long and I just can’t seem to get over him no matter what. I have never had a boyfriend so I’m kind of scared. And theres not a lot of differences with us besides age and grade, I’m 14 and hes 17. I’ve prayed to god to help me with this situation but it seems to have gotten worse everyday cause now I have to hear about his new girlfriend and now I think that theres no way he could ever like me. There are so many differences between me and her. Some days I just could cry all night cause I’ve like other guys before but he’s different. He goes to church with me and we do choreography together there. Hes a really great guy. And I really like him but if he doesn’t like me then how will I get over him if every time I see him, he makes me smile and blush uncontrollably!?! Its not like I’m looking for my future husband. Please I need HELP!!!
I’m sorry that you are going through this. I know you may feel like your mom does not understand you and that she’s being unreasonable. However, she is being protective over you because thirteen is still quite young to be thinking about dating or having a boyfriend. She wants the best for you.
I have a thirteen year old daughter who is very mature for her age. She is a great kid. She has had her share of crushes, but she is not allowed to have boyfriends either. I want her to focus on her studies and growing into a young woman without the complications of a boyfriend.
There is too much unnecessary temptation that comes with dating and having boyfriends. Why start so young?
I realize that alot of other kids are moving fast doing the whole dating fade and the movie stars as well as the sitcoms make everything look so wonderful, but it isn’t all roses. Relationships are alot of work and commitment.
Don’t resent your mother for caring for you. She doesn’t want to allow you to be in a situation where you are forced to make grown up decisions so young.
Although you may not agree with your mother’s rules you still have to trust that she knows what’s best for you. She has lived longer and experienced more. She may not really know all that she has been through. Don’t despise her wisdom and knowledge.
Obey her and honor because she has your best interest in mind and she is your mother. Most importantly you should obey her because God has commanded that you must. He promises that if obey and honor your parents that you live long life here on earth.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth, EPH 6:1-3.
COL 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.”
I know that this may not be what you want to hear but you have to learn to leave things in God’s hands when they are out of your control. Your time will come when you will meet the man that God has for you, but until then keep yourself pure so that you can present your body to your future husband and only him.
Forget about the dating scene and don’t fight with your mom about it because it’s only going to make the situation more.
Also, I wrote an article called ‘I Wish I Had A Mom!’ Read it when you get a chance. I wrote right after I went through something similar with my own daughter. Here’s the link weused2bu.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-wish-i-had-mom.html
I will be praying for both you and your mom. God bless you..
PS - The women of WeUsed2bu love and care about your eternal soul. Therefore, we must tell you that there will be a day when each of us will have to stand before God and be judged for all we have done on this earth. To find out how you can have right standing with God CLICK HERE
Im 13 yrs old and my mom won’t even tell me about anything like dating. She also wont let me walk around a store with my friends by ourselves! I want to go out with this boy at school and i even know where he lives but if i even mention i know where he lives my mom will kill me! then she’ll give like an hr long speech on why i cant date or have guy friends untill im like 20…im so pissed!!!
13 yrs old is a very important age… your body’s changing, your hormones are all over the place and it’s easy to lose focus on what’s most important. At this age I believe your main focus should be school. You are entering high school soon and then will be off to college. What you do now will effect you for years to follow. Although your mother hasn’t spoken to you about dating, you still feel she is giving you limitations by saying she won’t let you have boys over. I think you should respect your mom’s wishes. I think you should wait to date. If you were to get involved with someone now, in a sense, you would be lying to your mother. If she doesn’t allow it in the house, do you think she’d be happy with you doing outside of the house? Dating also brings so many more serious situations, issues, complications. You’ll be better equipped to handle these at an older age.
You are a beautiful treasure (Deuteronomy 7:6), a gift from above. God has so many wonderful things planned for your life (Jeremiah 29:11-13)! Take the time to focus on your studies. Take the time to get to know the Lord first. Take the time to build a closer relationship with your mother… one where you two can speak openly about whatever questions you have. Having this line of communication is very important in the household and you will see that it’s very rewarding! You are at a wonderfully exciting age… try to enjoy it without adding complications.
im 13 and my mom didnt tell me anything about dating. i wanna date but what if he wants to come over? if i tell him that my mom wont let me have boys over he might break up with me