Comments on: My 16-yr-old Daughter is Not Pure Anymore http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/ For Such A Time As This Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:00:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: admin http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-34397 admin Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:42:36 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-34397 Paris, Thanks for sharing :) You are right. The whole using the bible as a punishment is NOT wise at all! However ignoring our kids, or giving them silent treatment can really mess them up also. I know my daughter hates that. Her dad closes up when the teens have disrespected us and make terrible choices. My daughter really takes it to heart. I think the best thing to do is sit talk, sometimes spank (depending on the age), take away stuff, and ground them. These are the methods that have worked best for me. I am still learning. Parenting isn't easy. I know..I have 7 kids (his, mines, and ours) It can be tough, but it is such a blessing. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective sister :) Paris,

Thanks for sharing :) You are right. The whole using the bible as a punishment is NOT wise at all! However ignoring our kids, or giving them silent treatment can really mess them up also. I know my daughter hates that. Her dad closes up when the teens have disrespected us and make terrible choices. My daughter really takes it to heart. I think the best thing to do is sit talk, sometimes spank (depending on the age), take away stuff, and ground them. These are the methods that have worked best for me. I am still learning. Parenting isn’t easy. I know..I have 7 kids (his, mines, and ours) It can be tough, but it is such a blessing. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective sister :)

]]> By: paris http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-34393 paris Fri, 21 Oct 2011 16:22:24 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-34393 tiny letter to parents out there:) <3 its kinda long but itll open you eyes O.O punishing your daughter/son with the word of God is actualy the worst idea ever... my dad did that when i was smaller (like 10-11 & 12) and it made me feel really dirty but i actually did nothing wrong...all i did was talk ,joke around and play sports with guys my age!!! Anyway he punished me by reading the BiBle....and going to church and as i grew older i HATED reading the bible and renouced being a christian....:( Wonder why??? :/ because my parents used the bible as a punishment :O!! and a punishment leaves a bad feeling at the end :( kind of like when you spank yourkid ...:p later he/she sees that belt and thinks \" if im bad ill get spanked with that belt!:o but parentsthink \"ill spank him/her as a punishment ..and im sure everything will be better:)\" Now as you can see theres two diffrent points of views here_ 1.the kid sees the belt as the bad thing 2.the parents see it as the good thing so in other words your kid will ruun from that belt!!! and youll chase him/her... but at the end the belt is the bad one and theyll hate it ...... now if you use the bible as a punishment (the belt) and you chase your child with the bible by telling them to read it because theyre being bad They -will-ruuuunnnnn !!!! and hate it!!! :( You see how theyll assume that the bible is the bad one? chasing them to hurt them? punishments hurt!!! and if you use the bible as a punishment in theyre minds theyll get hurt \"By it\" The Best way to punish your kid is to not speak to her/him she/he speaks to you just walk away...but then like the councelor \'beloved by him\'said ...forgive her/him and tell her you love her/him this would hurt me terribly bad if i sinned and my parents knew it but if they told me they loved me i would think back and say\"trying that one-moretime is certaily not worth it\" nd confiscate something she/he loves ...ground her/him ..but with love<333:) just never ever punish her/him by reading the bible please... it can make things wayyy worse and we want it to be better for the Glory of God and to keep you family united best wishes to all xoxo tiny letter to parents out there:) <3 its kinda long but itll open you eyes O.O

punishing your daughter/son
with the word of God is actualy the worst idea ever…
my dad did that when i was smaller (like 10-11 & 12)
and it made me feel really dirty but i actually did nothing wrong…all i did was talk ,joke around and play sports with guys my age!!!
Anyway he punished me by reading the BiBle….and going to church
and as i grew older i HATED reading the bible and renouced being a christian….:(
Wonder why??? :/
because my parents used the bible as a punishment :O!!
and a punishment leaves a bad feeling at the end
:(
kind of like when you spank yourkid …:p
later he/she sees that belt and thinks \" if im bad ill get spanked with that belt!:o
but parentsthink \"ill spank him/her as a punishment ..and im sure everything will be better:)\"

Now as you can see theres two diffrent points of views here_
1.the kid sees the belt as the bad thing
2.the parents see it as the good thing
so in other words
your kid will ruun from that belt!!!
and youll chase him/her…
but at the end the belt is the bad one and theyll hate it
……
now if you use the bible as a punishment (the belt)
and you chase your child with the bible by telling them to read it because theyre being bad
They -will-ruuuunnnnn !!!! and hate it!!! :(

You see how theyll assume that the bible is the bad one?
chasing them to hurt them?

punishments hurt!!!
and if you use the bible as a punishment
in theyre minds
theyll get hurt \"By it\"

The Best way to punish your kid is to not speak to her/him she/he
speaks to you just walk away…but then like the councelor
\’beloved by him\’said …forgive her/him
and tell her you love her/him
this would hurt me terribly bad if i sinned and my parents knew it
but if they told me they loved me i would think back and
say\"trying that one-moretime is certaily not worth it\"
nd confiscate something she/he loves
…ground her/him
..but with love<333:)
just never
ever punish
her/him by reading the bible please…
it can make things wayyy worse
and we want it to be better for the Glory of God
and to keep you family united best wishes to all xoxo

]]> By: admin http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-32163 admin Tue, 16 Aug 2011 01:38:44 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-32163 Meaning she is not a virgin any more. Here's is our category on Purity. http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/category/purity-month-on-weused2bu/ Take some time out and read some of the articles. I hope they encourage and edify you :) Meaning she is not a virgin any more. Here’s is our category on Purity.

http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/category/purity-month-on-weused2bu/

Take some time out and read some of the articles. I hope they encourage and edify you :)

]]> By: admin http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-32162 admin Tue, 16 Aug 2011 01:37:24 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-32162 Hannah the last comment was not posted by a WeUsed2bu counselor. Yes the legal age to become an adult is 18 in most states. We were not in agreement with the last comment posted, but allowed the reader to share. Usually we do respond back. Hannah the last comment was not posted by a WeUsed2bu counselor. Yes the legal age to become an adult is 18 in most states. We were not in agreement with the last comment posted, but allowed the reader to share. Usually we do respond back.

]]> By: Hannah http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-32146 Hannah Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:44:27 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-32146 What does she mean by not pure anymore? What does she mean by not pure anymore?

]]> By: Hannah http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-32108 Hannah Sun, 14 Aug 2011 18:13:17 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-32108 I thought you Became an adult at 18 legally........ I thought you Became an adult at 18 legally……..

]]> By: Beloved by Him http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-589 Beloved by Him Sat, 13 Jun 2009 02:58:29 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-589 Dear Daniel, You are right--ultimately, each person is responsible for the decisions that they make before God. In addition, children are responsible to honor their parents, even if they do not agree with them. Parents also have to answer to the Lord for how they raise their children. So in other words, no one is exempt from their accountability. But as the ones with the God-given authority, parents must make every good effort to train up their children in the way that they should go. If a parent feels that a consequence is appropriate for a minor child, then they have the right to issue it as they see fit, as long as it is not harmful. In this case, the mom did not want to resort to such a tedious punishment, but wanted to find a way to reach out to her daughter without isolating her. But even if she had chosen to make her daughter copy the verses, it is not an unreasonable action; in fact, it may have implanted a word in her daughter's spirit that could ultimately take root and grow into a positive conviction to choose God's best plan for her life. Regardless of how old we are, we always need to consider not just whether something is lawful, but if it is helpful in our spiritual walk with the Lord. Losing our purity is never helpful, and can lead us in a direction that goes away from God. So because the mom wants the best for her daughter, she has an obligation to keep her from what can be harmful to her. As it says in I Corinthians 13, love always protects. Discipline isn't supposed to be fun, or it wouldn't benefit those who are trained by it (Heb. 12:11). Parents aren't perfect, but it's far better to try to correct a child than to leave them to their own destruction (Prov. 19:18). So if mom seems tough, we have to look at the reason for the reaction. This mom loves the Lord and her daughter, and hopefully that love will lead her to make the right decisions in her parenting. Thanks for your comment. Dear Daniel,
You are right–ultimately, each person is responsible for the decisions that they make before God. In addition, children are responsible to honor their parents, even if they do not agree with them. Parents also have to answer to the Lord for how they raise their children. So in other words, no one is exempt from their accountability. But as the ones with the God-given authority, parents must make every good effort to train up their children in the way that they should go. If a parent feels that a consequence is appropriate for a minor child, then they have the right to issue it as they see fit, as long as it is not harmful. In this case, the mom did not want to resort to such a tedious punishment, but wanted to find a way to reach out to her daughter without isolating her. But even if she had chosen to make her daughter copy the verses, it is not an unreasonable action; in fact, it may have implanted a word in her daughter’s spirit that could ultimately take root and grow into a positive conviction to choose God’s best plan for her life.

Regardless of how old we are, we always need to consider not just whether something is lawful, but if it is helpful in our spiritual walk with the Lord. Losing our purity is never helpful, and can lead us in a direction that goes away from God. So because the mom wants the best for her daughter, she has an obligation to keep her from what can be harmful to her. As it says in I Corinthians 13, love always protects. Discipline isn’t supposed to be fun, or it wouldn’t benefit those who are trained by it (Heb. 12:11). Parents aren’t perfect, but it’s far better to try to correct a child than to leave them to their own destruction (Prov. 19:18). So if mom seems tough, we have to look at the reason for the reaction. This mom loves the Lord and her daughter, and hopefully that love will lead her to make the right decisions in her parenting.
Thanks for your comment.

]]> By: Daniel http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/comment-page-1/#comment-579 Daniel Fri, 12 Jun 2009 05:31:24 +0000 http://weused2bu.wordpress.com/2009/03/06/my-16-yr-old-daughter-is-not-pure-anymore/#comment-579 I can understand your upset, but you cannot punish a 16 year old like this, grounding them and forcing them to read verses. Even though she made a terrible mistake. It is hers and hers alone to make, punishing her is not going to sort the problem. And 16 being the age of consent, means its out of your hands, she is an adult now an makes her own decisions. If she wanted to remain pure (which i would have), then she would have. But she didnt and she made that choice, yes you can confront her, but punishing her, for a choice she decided to make, is up to her. I can understand your upset, but you cannot punish a 16 year old like this, grounding them and forcing them to read verses. Even though she made a terrible mistake. It is hers and hers alone to make, punishing her is not going to sort the problem. And 16 being the age of consent, means its out of your hands, she is an adult now an makes her own decisions. If she wanted to remain pure (which i would have), then she would have. But she didnt and she made that choice, yes you can confront her, but punishing her, for a choice she decided to make, is up to her.

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