“I Am Proud To Have Sex Before Marriage”
Anonymous from the posting ‘Sex Is About Waiting Till You And Your Partner Are Ready’ replies…
Dear beloved by him
I appreciate you taking the time to write me back I am a Christian and have had sex before marriage I am 20 years old. I am proud to have had sex before marriage because men look down on you if you are not experienced or skilled in this area. I don’t think purity is important at all and I don’t think I have ever met anyone who has waited until marriage. If God wanted us to wait he would not have made it possible for us to have sex before marriage. I think women and men who are in stable relationships should be able to have sex whenever they are ready. Sex is a very important part of a relationship. And how can you marry someone and not have ever been sexual with them. In order to marry someone you need to know if you are actually sexually attracted to them. And you need to know what youre getting yourself into. Sex can be done at all ages (obviously not under 13) But I know a lot of women who would agree with me. Remember beloved by him you only live once so you should enjoy your life to the fullest 
And my opinion sex is a fun thing between you and your partner. No one should let the bible tell them that they cannot have sex to me thats immoral.
Daughter of The King replies..
Dear Friend,
Your opinions are based on three false concepts; the first false concept you have is that you believe that if God wanted us to wait until marriage for sex He would not have made it possible for us to have sex before marriage. Well, if what you say is true then that must mean that God is okay with us stealing, murdering and raping because if He didn’t want us to do those things either He would not have made it possible for us to do them. I think it’s obvious to everyone that God is definitely opposed to those things, He is opposed to all sin, including sexual sin, yet He still allow us to do them. Why? Because we have free will, God did not create people to have to obey Him, He wants us to want to obey Him out of love not because we have to. In the Bible God tells us what is right and what is wrong then He leaves it up to us to decide if we will listen and obey or if we will think that we are smarter than God and do whatever we want. God will allow you to have all the sex you want with all the men you want, the same way He will allow you to steal, kill and rape all you want (you’ve heard of serial killers and rapist, right?) BUT in the end you will suffer the consequences of your choices.
Psalm 119:137-144 (The Message)
You are right and you do right, GOD; your decisions are right on target. You rightly instruct us in how to live ever faithful to you… I’m too young to be important, but I don’t forget what you tell me… The way you tell me to live is always right; help me understand it so I can live to the fullest.
The second false concept you have is that you think that being sexually “skilled” and “experienced” is admirable and that you would be looked down on you if you weren’t. Let me ask you something; do you think your dad and/or mom is proud of your sexual skills? Do you think that on your honeymoon night your husband is going to feel lucky that you slept with “x” amount of guys and have tons of sexual experience? The only men who admire your sexual experience are men who want to use you. A man who truly loves and respects you would be thrilled and proud to have a wife that no other man has used before and if the two of you are virgins you will get your experience and skill from each other. I know you said you never met anyone who has waited until marriage, I believe you. But just because no one in your family, neighborhood, church or even your state waited it does not make it acceptable by God.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 7-8 (New Living Translation)
3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways…7 God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8 Therefore, anyone who refuses to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. The third false concept is that you think that you (not God) decides what is moral and what is not, my friend you couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is that your opinion (or mine) does not matter. It’s not about what you think or feel; it’s about what God says in His word the Bible, He is the authority over what is right and wrong.
2 Timothy 3:16 (NLT)
All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right Dear friend, as you read the verses in this response I pray that His Word would touch your heart and open your eyes to the truth. I pray for your sake that you would recognizes the authority of the Word of God and that you would truly understand what it means to be a follower of Jesus Christ. In Jesus name, Amen.
I John 2: 3-7 (NLT)
If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. 5 But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. 6 Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.
Ephesians 4:17-25 (NLT
With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the [heathens] do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
Proverbs 12: 15 (NIV)
The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.
Sincerely,
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Thank you Mego! All glory be to God who has given us His Wisdom and provisions to serve each of you ladies. He is our strength and source. It is His love in us that inspires in this ministry. May the Word of God continue to be used by WeUsed2bu to unveil the lies of the enemy and set captives free. Thanks for your comment! Your words encourage us and greatly appreciated.
WOW! I’m sorry but that girl had/has it so messed up in her head. I love knowing that there are good God-fearing women out there that have the compassion to give advice to people who are so confused. I also adore you guys for using such impacting Scripture! Thanks, WeUsed2bu, even just reading some of these questions and answers have blessed my life.
The “Living Life to the Fullest” mentality…..
Is it really worth it?!
Dear Weused2bu readers:
We wanted to address a common thought process that many people still follow, which has continued to be destructive and result in a lot of heartache. The “Live Life to the Fullest” mentality is one that has through history proven to be an extremely costly way of living. Not only is this mentality very immature in the sense of “doing whatever makes you happy, regardless of who gets hurt,” but it is also not how God wants us to live. We can be like the world and live life at a whim, or we can choose to be bigger than this world. We can choose to be different and make a difference, because 20 years down the road, who wants to be suffering from a decision made recklessly today?
Collectively, the counselors of Weused2bu have all at one time or another “lived life to the fullest” without God, not caring about what we did, who it offended or hurt, or how God wanted us to live. If you take a look at our testimonies you can see that more often than not, this way of life led to situations that destroyed us. Thank God for His redemptive power. Whether it be the one night stand that led to pregnancy, the drive home from the club that resulted in an accident, the bad decision leading to incarceration, or the sexual encounter with that person we didn’t know so well that ended in a positive HIV test, these kinds of decisions are all based on the “living life to the fullest” mentality. We all know of somebody that really messed up their life and/or future by living recklessly; this is why our loving God has laid out a clear-cut template on how we should be living. This way, we don’t have to make those mistakes.
Don’t get me wrong, following God’s ways and living according to the Bible doesn’t mean that we can’t live life to the fullest; in fact, it’s the opposite. Jesus said in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the fullest.” Could it be any clearer than this? Where in the unwritten book of “fun life” does it say that we have to live with reckless abandon (without regard of consequences)? Can’t we love God, be faithful to our spouses, remain pure in spirit and body and still be “living it up?” The answer emphatically is ABSOLUTELY YES!!
Just 2 years ago, I would have said, “Man, I’m living life to the fullest,” but where did that get me…on a detox bed, suffering from a near overdose because “life was so good.” The parties were non-stop, the money was long-lasting, and the liquor was steadily flowing, and all the while I had 4 children with 2 different women that barely knew me. That was where it got me, and it is only by God’s grace that I now have a real life: My children love me, my wife respects me, and I have the comfort and peace in my life that surpasses all understanding (John 14:27). My life has a meaning, and it’s not because of reckless living, but rather where I ended up by living recklessly and realizing that there is a Savior out there that cares more for my life than I did.
Take a look at the testimonies from the counselors and then ask yourself if “living life to the fullest” without God is truly worth it. Some decisions we make today cannot be swept under the rug or easily forgotten. Some choices we make today will affect the rest of our lives—and that’s just real talk! I would rather look back at my past, 20 years down the road, and say, “I had a good life, loved God and treated others well” instead of saying, “Man, I wish I would have never…..” you fill in the blank. God, in all His love for us, sent His son to die so that we don’t have to look back and regret. Take that gift and receive it, hold it close to your heart, even though it’s easier not to. Sometimes the things in life that truly have meaning require us to work at it. Living life in reckless abandon never got anyone anywhere worthy of praise; it was Jesus laying down his life for us that gave us our praise. One day we will all have to stand before the Lord Almighty and give an account to all that we’ve done (Romans 14:12). If God forbid your time was to arrive sooner rather than later, how would your account sound? It’s not too late to make a change. Be blessed sisters…
A New Me!
Anonymous said…
You guys are all f***king brainwashed. Just listen to all of you. Raping killing And stealing are all irralevent to this matter. It never once states in your book that ore marital sex is bad. Just cheating on your husband or wife otherwise known as adultery. I believe if that person is ready they should not be bound by a book. They need to live life to the fullest. Look at your life 20 years down the road and ask yourself, was holding back worth it?? I meN your only on this planet once. Buy a car plant a tree go sky diving f**k around with your gf or bf.
**Comment has been re posted and edited due to inappropriate content. Original comment received May 31, 2009 5:22 AM
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you so much for your testimony. It is a real praise report to the Lord Jesus that you have surrendered your life and your purity to Him. We know how difficult it can be to be hated by the world, but that really just means that you are following in the steps of our Lord and Savior. Like it says in John 15:19, “If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” We hope and trust that the Lord will bring you the PERFECT woman for you in His time, and that she will be the proof of God’s favor toward you (Prov. 18:22). May the Lord bless you, brother.
Sincerely,
WeUsed2bu
(crossposted from the Weused2bu blogspot on May 25, 9:00 pm)
I find it sad that she said she has never met anybody who has not had sex before marriage. I am not married and I have not had sex and Im a man. Why should I have intercourse with a woman who is not my wife?
The truth is there is more hatred from others if you DONT have sex before marriage as if Im defrauding them in some way because I want to stay pure. I had one friend who has had sex many times and says he hates my guts because I stayed pure.
But I do it for God. He created us and he calls the shots not me.
If I dont find a woman who honors me for my staying pure for her then Ill stay single forever. Big deal sex shmex.
I recently noticed this posting and within a few days i got the clearest answer from God on this subject. Well i was reading the Word and came across this in the introduction to the book Songs of Songs (Solomon).
[Today’s media teaches that
immorality means freedom,
perversion is natural, and commitment is old-fashioned. Sex, created by God and pronounced good in Eden, has been twisted, exploited and turned into urgent, illicit, casual, and a self-gratifying activity. Love has turned into lust, giving into getting, and lasting commitments into “no strings attached”. In reality, sexual intercourse, the physical and emotional union of a male and female, should be a holy means of celebrating love,
producing children and experiencing pleasure, protected by the commitment of marriage.
God thinks sex is important, and Scripture contains numerous guidelines for its use and warnings about its misuse. And sex is always mentioned in the context of a loving relationship between husband and wife.]
Now lets remember, this is not from me or secular or even Christian mainstream America. THIS IS IN THE BIBLE. and it cant be any clearer. Its time for Christians to stop bending the Word of God to fit our lives, but rather to bend our lives to fit the Word of God.. Just thought you may want to see how God looks at this subject.,.
God Bless!
“In His Hands”
I am not proud to have had sex before marriage and realized my mistake. The more I read the word of God, the more I understand why God doesnt want us to do certain things. Thankfully, my boyfriend and I decided to stop and wait until we are married so God can pour his blessings upon us. THANK YOU LORD!
AMEN!! THIS ANSWER IS RIGHT ON POINT! THE 3 POINTS SHOWN COULDN’T HAVE BEEN MORE “RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!” THANK YOU JESUS FOR GIVING US THE WORDS TO USE TO HELP WOMEN THAT ARE IN BONDAGE! THANK YOU FOR RELEASING THOSE IN BONDAGE!! THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT WITH US AND LOVING US SO MUCH!! <3
I AGREE.This is 100% right.
Exactly correct that “TRUE LOVE WAITS”..
Interesting..