Anonymous says…

Hi everyone,
i don’t know where to post this, I hope it’s ok that I’m posting it under here.
I like this boy but he doesn’t know I’m alive. I think about him all the time, and blush every time I see him. Why do I like someone who doesn’t know I’m alive?

thanks for anyone who replies

Deborah Ross replies…

Without knowing all of the facts about your secret admiration and the fact that the other person has no idea of your interest, I’ll attempt to give you some pointers on the “life of dating”.

Mutual attraction does not always start out as a magical moment of romance. In fact, my husband had an interest in me way before I had any sort of real interest in him. He won my affection by pursuing me and by sharing in a friendship as he showed interest in my thoughts, my desires, and my dreams. He wasn’t easily moved when I turned him down for the first date. Instead, he re-thought the offer, waited for the right moment, and asked me again. The rest is history.

I think the key to exploring potential male / female relationships is through casual friendship. In reality, it’s the relationships that are built on solid friendships, not purely physical attraction, that stand the test of time.

The Word of God tells us to be “equally yoked” in marriage. Keep in mind that every boyfriend is a potential future husband. If you are interested in someone simply because of infatuation and not because of knowing their character, their goals, and their dreams, my advice is to, first and foremost, get to know them better. As you do, the Lord will work out the details of the relationship. If indeed it is His will for the two of you to consider dating, the solid friendship the two of you share will serve as the foundation for anything romantic in the future.

From your question it sounds as if you are a little shy about being around this person. Maybe you are watching from a distance. Do you feel unworthy or incapable of being able to attract this guy by your personality. Or, do you have issues with your self-esteem in any way, whether: physically, spiritually, or mentally. If so, then getting your relationship with God in order - first - should be your priority. The Lord wants you to be whole. He wants you to be at peace with yourself, knowing that you are “exactly” the way He made you - for a purpose. You are beautiful in His eyes! Once you are confident in “who you are”, then, you will be able to interact in the presence of others genuinely. I think guys are attracted to girls who are sincere about being themselves. It is a turn-off for someone to be obnoxious in their behavior, trying to get attention.

So, the best advice I have for you today is this:

Work on your relationship with Jesus, first.

Be yourself.

Become friends with this guy.

Trust God.

I hope this helps!

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