Anonymous writes in response to ‘I Have A Close Friend I’m Worried About‘…

Hi, I found out that my “friend” had just posted something about me. First of all, I am shocked that she went behind my back and talked about my personal life on the internet. I did trust her. I would like to clarify a few things. I am NOT an addict. Yes, my life is stressful and drinking helps me function. I did not “admit” to having tried prescription painkillers, she happened to show up at my house to drop something off about ten minutes after I had taken the pills. She found out on her own. She has already tattled to our life group leader once, creating a very awkward situation since I am very active in the church community. Unbeknownst to my friend, said life group leader had a “follow up” talk with me and I told her I “haven’t completely quit drinking.” I have been a Christian since middle school and consider my life group the Christian family not available to me at home.

Beloved by Him replies…

I’m glad that you posted your comment, because it gives me a chance to speak to you directly. I know that you feel like your trust was violated, but please keep in mind that no one knows who or where in the world you are, so your anonymity is not in question. Your friend did not betray you; rather, she was asking for help because she is in a position where she feels compelled by her love for you to try and help you (Prov. 24:11-12). If we all waited to act until someone asked for our help, the world would be a miserable place. Even God Himself didn’t do that; He knew that we would need salvation, and put His plan into action from the beginning of time (John 1:10-13).

No one ever said that you were an addict. If you read the posting, you will see that the concern was for you to not become reliant on external substances to help you cope, because that is how some people become addicted. Drinking, while not wrong in itself, should not be a coping mechanism. Christians can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us. In the areas where we are weak, we can be made strong in Him through the power of His might and grace (II Cor. 12:9-10, Eph. 6:10). If life has become too stressful for us to handle, then we know we need to work on our spiritual strength by pressing in that much more to the Lord Jesus through prayer, scripture reading, fasting, and wise counsel. We also need to remember that everything going on around us is Father-filtered, and the Lord is in control. Nothing is going to come into our lives that He hasn’t allowed or can’t use for our good. Using alcohol, pills, or anything else that simply gratifies the flesh profits us nothing (John 6:63). Instead, it can re-enslave us to serving our old creature instead of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 6:16, Gal.2:18, 5:1).

Your friend didn’t “tattle” on you, but she should have approached you first. If she has offended you in that matter, then forgive her and let it go, remembering that none of us is without sin, and she is trying to look out for your best interests. If you are active in your church community, then it is good for your life group leader to be involved and keep you accountable, even if it is awkward for you. It’s much better that we admit our faults to one another than to keep our struggles hidden and pretend to be something that we’re not (John 3:19-21, James 5:16).

You may not see it right now, but the Lord is being very gracious and merciful to you by providing people in your life who will love you enough to tell you the truth and want to help you. Proverbs 27:5 says that “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.” Yes, rebuke can sting. It’s supposed to feel like a spiritual punch in the nose, so that it gets our attention. The Lord is trying to speak to you to let you know how much He loves you and wants you to turn to Him, not to the world, for help. Jesus Christ is the only One Who can give us true and lasting peace (John 14:27). I pray that you keep your eyes fixed and focused on Him as you go through this time, and that you find Him sufficient to meet all of your needs.

Much love,

Beloved by Him

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