Anonymous writes…

I’m struggling with feeling left out from my sisters. There are 3 of us and I am the only one who is in the business world. They are both teachers. I know it sounds silly but it is really dividing and I often feel left out, mostly because they have more time. I have been increasingly feeling more left out as I’ve gotten older and I know that Satan is really capitalizing on my insecurity. I don’t want to feel this way towards my sisters, but I feel powerless. I am trying to find scripture that I can recite to stop having these feelings.

Thanks for your listening ear.

Deborah Ross replies…

I guess my question to you is: Are you struggling because you wish you had more time to spend with your family; or, are you struggling because you are jealous of the relationship that your sisters have with each other because of their common interest?

I am going to take a big leap of faith in digging deep into the issues of your heart in hopes of shedding some light on your concern.

If you feel you are in bondage because you spend so much time at work while your sisters have time to do things for their families, perhaps it is not Satan but God who is speaking to you. Could it be that the Lord is allowing you to be unsatisfied with your job situation because He has something better for you that will bring inner peace? I am reminded of the scripture that the Lord brought to my attention when He was pruning me of corporate America.

Matthew 16:26
For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions. In this passage we are taught that following after fleshly ambitions will only lead to sorrow in the end. No amount of money, success, or accolades should ever be worth the trade-off of living outside the will of God. God’s ways are peaceful. This doesn’t mean everything is easy when we are walking in God’s will, but it does mean that we will have an inner peace knowing that He is for us and that we are doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.

Satan is so crafty. He can actually make us believe that what we are doing, is what we really want to do. He is also a master at creating reasons “why” we must continue to do what we are doing. On the other hand, if the Lord is pulling at your heart about changing gears to follow after His plan for your life… He is more than able to take care of all of the “what if’s” that threaten your intellectual thinking.

You didn’t say if you had a husband or children, so I can only speculate that if you do, you are yearning for more time to do the Lord’s work as a wife and mom. You also did not say if you were a single mom or not, so I am addressing your question as if you are not. Please write back if this letter does not speak to your situation. Whatever your status, there is one thing I am certain of and that is, “God wants to give you the desires of your heart” …

Psalm 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.

My advice for you is that you begin to ask the Lord “why” you are having these feelings toward your sisters. As He reveals your true motives, begin to ask Him what steps you need to take in order to draw closer to His plan for your life. If your thoughts are stemming from a deep desire to follow after a destiny that may seem unattainable, outrageous, or even crazy, just remember: there is nothing that is too hard for God. He has created you for a specific purpose that only you can do. If He is calling you to step out in faith to explore a new season of life, He will certainly make a way for all of the details to fall into place.

Even if you think your struggles with your sisters is simply a matter of jealousy, I challenge you to ask God to show you the “root” of your strife. You may be surprised to find out that your feelings of being left out and division may actually be the symptom of a deeper issue within your own heart.

Finally remember that as time passes and your sisters continue to develop their relationship, you are allowing more space to come between you simply because of your absence. If you desire to be a part of your sisters friendship, make yourself available for some of their activities. My grandmother always said, “If there is a will, there is a way.” You can find a way to make time to be with your sisters periodically, if you really want to (providing you live in the same geographical area). Step out of your box, change your routine, create a new schedule, trust God, and become a part of your sisters’ worlds. Just do it!

Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Yours in Christ,

Deborah