Anonymous writes…

I’ve like this guy for a very long time and he has liked me back, but neither one of us knew until recently. He actually dated my best friend shortly, but he broke up with her realizing that the relationship was not right and they simply weren’t meant to be. He has been a great friend of mine, but never told me that he liked me. He finally decided to spill out all of his feelings to me, the only problem is that he moved to another state. I like him a lot, and he likes me too, we both know this now, but as I’ve prayed about it I see that he isn’t spiritually mature, and I told him this, so he agreed that we needed to take some time off from each other and pray about a relationship. his family has one through a tough time and i feel that right now he needs me, but if I do date him,he will rely on me more than God. I am willing to wait until he becomes more spiritually mature, and I plan to tell him this, but I was wondering if you had any advice as to how I should tell him what God has shown me and any bible verses that go along with men needing to be the spiritual leader in a relationship.

Trophy of Grace replies…

Kudos to you my sister and glory be to God who has given you the mind of Christ. You are acting very wisely by praying, seeking the Lord’s direction, and seeking wise counsel. May the Lord give me the words to speak you.

Tell him truthfully what our Lord has revealed to you about this relationship’s timing. Right now you both need to focus on your relationship with the Lord and on becoming strong in Him so that you can be prepared for the great things that the Lord has planned for you both. If it is God’s will for this relationship to be it will be, but it must be in His timing. His timing is always best. I always pray for our Lord not to let me go out ahead of Him or to fall behind, but to walk side by side with Him. I want to be right where He wants me to be, when He wants me to be there.

If you feel that he will rely on you more than on the Lord while he is going through this tough time then let him know that you do not wish to be a distraction. Difficult times are when we have to really draw closer to the Lord. It is when we learn to seek His face even more, depend on Him for strength and comfort, and it is when we learn to listen to His voice more closely. It is when we really learn to rely on Him for everything. It is wonderful that you want Jesus Christ to be His Rock and His Fortress.

Now I don’t think that you should leave him alone in his troubles because friends are supposed to stick close together. Be supportive and encouraging; however don’t become his main support. You will have to use discernment and wisdom with this. I believe the Lord will give you direction as to when and how to reach out to him. However, if this relationship becomes a temptation or stumbling block then you will need to remove yourself completely.

Now regarding the men being the spiritual leader and the Word of God. See the scriptures below..

1 Corinthians 11:3 “But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

Spirited Guided relationships explained in Ephesians 5:21-33

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. 25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I found an article called ‘It’s not to late to be the spiritual leader in your home’. I found it to be informative. When you get a chance read it. Just click the title.

I will be praying for both you and your friend.

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

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