Writer from Victimized Over & Over Again Writes Back
Hi,

Its me again. Thanks so much for saying all those nice things. Do you really believe all that stuff? You were right about me not having any family support…i called my mum up from his place once crying saying i wanted to come home, but she just yelled at me cause she didn’t want to come help me…so i decide not to even bother telling her what had been happening to me and i just ended up staying with him. But i met a nice girl at church who helped me get away from him…she is the only one who knows what happened…i didn’t tell her everything though cause i didn’t think she would be able to handle it…she hasn’t ever had anything like that happen before….i am trying not to isolate myself…but i just feel like i should cause i am so down at the moment and don’t think anyone would want to be around me. Plus i still think i should not be bothered by it anymore…its like i just woke up and realized it actually all really did happen and i kind of just refused to let myself believe before that it had happened.

I know i need to find a christian counselor but i just can’t afford it right now…but i just joined that online support group you told me bout before…so until i can get counseling i will just have to use it and hope it can help a bit…thanks for telling me about that.

I been wondering…i know i shouldn’t but i have been wondering where God is and why He let it all happen? I know i shouldn’t think like that but why would he want anything to do with me…i am broken, used and damaged…i am so ashamed about everything…why would he bother with me…sorry to bother you again

Beloved by Him

My Dear,

If I could reach through the computer and give you such big hugs, I would. My heart broke when I read your response. But I am so glad that you wrote back and shared some more about how you’re feeling, because you are showing strength and desire to be healed. That means you have hope in your heart! Don’t be afraid to have hope, because “hope does not disappoint, because the love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, Who was given to us.” (Rom. 5:5) If you have received Jesus Christ as your Savior, then the Holy Spirit is living inside your heart, always filling it with the love of God.

I know it’s hard to understand, when something like this happens, why God allowed it. Stellie, this is just the consequence of living in a fallen and sinful world. This was not God’s desire for you, His beautiful and precious daughter. But this world is sold under sin, and there are many people in it who are slaves to it because they have not been set free by the blood of Jesus Christ. The thing to know is that Jesus, by His death on the cross, defeated sin, and He gives His people victory over it. What the enemy uses for evil in our lives, God will overcome and use for good (Gen. 50:20). It’s up to us to have the faith in Him that He will do it—not so that He’ll to do the work, because He is going to work His plan in our lives regardless, but for us to walk in that victory until we see it come to pass (I John 5:4-5).

Stellie, you may feel broken and used, but in God’s eyes, if you are His child through salvation in Jesus Christ, you are totally righteous. That means that He can never see you as anything as perfectly pure, because your life is hidden in Christ Jesus, and you have put on His righteousness instead of your own (Col. 3:3, II Cor. 5:21). Whatever way someone has sinned against you, or whatever you may have done in the past, is gone and done in God’s sight. This is the joy that we have in Jesus. Not only have we received forgiveness and justification for our sins, but we also are freed from the burden and punishment that sin inflicts on us.

One of the areas that you may need a lot of help with is shame. The feelings of shame that you have are definitely not coming from God. Shame is based on fear of being unworthy, bad, or unlovable, NONE of which you are. Not only does God love you completely and not judge or condemn you, but also, there is absolutely no fear in God’s love (Rom. 8:1, 33-34, I John 4:16, 18-19). You never have to be afraid that God doesn’t love you, or that He will take that love away from you.

Let me share something with you that you can do every time you start to struggle with these negative feelings. Open your bible, and turn to Romans chapter 8. Start in verse 31, and read it out loud, except that everywhere it says “we” or “us,” put your name there. In case you don’t have a bible, and because you’re here now, I’ve typed it out for you—but still read it out loud so that the enemy can hear it!

“What then shall ____ say to these things? If God is for ____, who can be against ____? He Who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for ____, how shall He not with Him also freely give ____ all things? Who shall bring a charge against ____, God’s elect? It is God Who justifies ____. Who is he who condemns ____? It is Christ Who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, Who also makes intercession for ____. Who shall separate ____ from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, ‘For Your sake we are killed all day long, we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.’ Yet in all these things ____ is more than a conqueror through Him Who loved her. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate ____ from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom. 8:31-39)

I know it’s hard for you to go through much of this alone. But I know that the Lord will send you help, because you need it, and He always supply our needs (Phil. 4:19). I don’t know all the ways He is going to do that yet, but I do know that there is comfort and healing in His word (Ps. 107:20, Matt. 11:28). You can always turn to the Word to find peace, truth, and assurance of God’s love. Have you thought about seeking out a Christian counselor at a local church? Some will either work on a sliding scale according to your income, or possibly even see you at no charge. What you don’t want to do is deny what happened and repress your emotions. It will only bring more heartache and destruction into your life if you do not allow yourself to receive the emotional and spiritual care that you need.

You are so valuable, so loved, and so worthy in God’s eyes, Stellie. Don’t let what happened to become the driving force in your life or the source of your identity. You have to believe that you are God’s girl, and that you can be healed if you will reach out and take the Lord’s hand, and let Him be your help and your salvation. Someday, you too will be one of those victorious Christians that are described in Revelation 12:11a, which says, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.” You can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you, Stellie. Ask God to give you the faith to believe it, and receive it with all your heart. You can do it!!

Much love, sister,

Beloved by Him

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