I’m Tired of Being Misused And Mistreated By Men
Anonymous comments on posting
I wish I had a dollar for every time I have heard that in regards to finding Mr. Right, I would be rich by now. Don’t get me wrong it sounds good and I’m sure it is right on point, but to me it just seem like words that people say to make you feel better about your miserable situation. I’m tired of being misused and mistreated by men but, I feel so lonely and desperate without the jerks.
I have tried and tried and prayed for a deeper relationship with God one that super cedes all relationships with everybody else, but I don’t feel anything I feel empty. I try to fill this hole by bending over backwards for people not just men, but everybody trying to get their approval, trying to make them love me but of course it doesn’t work. I hate my life, I hate all of the expectations to be everything for everybody and not have anyone or anything for myself.
The only reason I am alive now is because I have a child that depends on me but I wish I was never born! I’m tired of crying, I’m tired of hurting, I’m tired of being used, I’m tired of being alone, I’m tired of praying and not being able to hear or understand what God’s will is for me. I’m going to end this comment because I’m tired of complaining! Please pray for me.
Beloved by Him Replies:
“And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Gal. 6:9)
Dearest Sister,
We truly understand how you feel, and you must believe that you cannot give up! You have to get up under this burden and turn it into glory for God; otherwise, the enemy will keep on winning in this battle to keep you from God’s best for your life. The more he can keep your eyes on your pain and off of God, the more he can convince you that this is the way you will always feel. He wants to devour you—along with the good plans that God has for you! (Jer. 29:11, I Peter 5:8). You have got to be strong, sister! You can do it! “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might!” (Eph. 6:10)
Don’t give in to despair, but take courage, lift your head, and know that the Lord your God is for you, and He will provide all your needs according to His riches in glory (Rom. 8:31, Phil. 4:19). The question is, will you let Him? When you are feeling unloved, will you trust and believe in the love He has for you and receive it by faith, even if you don’t feel it? (I John 4:16) When you are lonely, will you be assured of His presence, even if you can’t see Him? (Heb. 13:5) When you are faithless, will you remember that He is faithful, because He cannot deny Himself? (II Tim. 2:13) And when there is nothing around you to be thankful for, will you still rejoice and be joyful in Him, because He is your God? (Hab. 3:17-18) These things are all choices that we have to make if we are ever going to climb out of the pit. If we choose to remain in the holes we (or other people) dig for ourselves, then God will still be there with us (Ps. 23:4). But that’s not where we need to stay. If we patiently wait on the Lord to renew our strength, knowing that we will see His good in our lives, then He will mount us up on eagle’s wings, and we will receive beauty for the ashes, strength for the fear, gladness for the mourning, and peace for the despair (Ps. 27:13, Is. 40:28-31, 61:2-3).
These are not just empty words to try to make you feel better—they are the words of truth that heal and sanctify us! (John 17:17) You can’t live a life of faith by trusting in your feelings (II Cor. 5:7). There are going to be times when we are overwhelmed, hurt, and suffering, to the point where we don’t want to go on and we want it all to end. The apostle Paul felt that way, I’ve felt that way, and many of our brothers and sisters in Christ have felt that way too (II Cor. 1:8, I Peter 5:9). But it’s at these times that we can experience great victory instead of crushing defeat, if we will choose to trust not in ourselves, but in God Who has delivered us from even death itself! (II Cor. 1:9)
This season in your life is for a purpose, as crazy as that may seem to you. The Lord wants you to know Him—as your Maker, your Provider, your Prince of Peace, your Salvation, your Life! He is not lacking or insufficient. His ways are perfect, His word is proven, and He is a shield to those who trust Him (Ps. 18:30). He is even your spiritual Husband—the One Who will never fail you, even when all others do (Is. 54:5). And ALL of His promises are “Yes” and “Amen” in Christ Jesus (II Cor. 1:20). If He’s made you a promise in His word, He keeps it. When He says, “I have called you by name, you are Mine,” He means YOU (Is. 43:1). When He assures you, “I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you,” He’s talking to YOU (Jer. 31:3). And He is telling YOU, “Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” (Is. 41:10) These are the words you have to cling to when you feel like everything is falling apart.
Don’t you see that He has already blessed you in a very special way by giving you a child? When the Lord chooses to give us children, it’s because He is rewarding us! (Ps. 127:3) That child is your heritage, your legacy from God. You’ve got to do your best, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to live a faith-filled and obedient life, as a living testimony of God’s goodness. Don’t keep living for others, trying to win their approval or their affection. Live as unto the Lord, not to people (Gal. 1:9). By the life of Christ in you, let Him “make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight,” so that you will give Him glory and bring Him praise! (Heb. 13:21) You need to know who you are in Him, not who you think others want you to be. He created you for His good purpose, and He will be faithful to complete all the work He began in you (Eph. 2:10, Phil. 1:6, I Thess. 5:24). You are not alone, and you never will be!
This may seem like the impossible right now, like telling a fish to come out of the sea and climb Mt. Everest. I get it. When we’re really down, everything feels that much harder. But I want to encourage you to push past those feelings, pray for grace and strength, and fight the good fight of faith, knowing that your inheritance is already sure—it’s eternal life with Christ Jesus Himself (I Tim. 6:12, Eph. 11:14). Trophy of Grace is always encouraging me to battle the spirit of heaviness by putting on the garment of praise. Find some really good praise music and pour it into your spirit. Play it loud and play it often! Let it minister to you and keep filling that place in your heart and mind that the enemy has convinced you is a “void.” There is no void for those who are filled with the Spirit of the living God! (Eph. 5:18) You don’t need the false comforts of this world to make you feel better. You need the living Word of God and the peace that only Jesus gives (John 14:27).
One closing thought—the Lord has given you more than just your child as your heritage from Him. He’s also given you His righteousness, which no one can ever take away from you. Isaiah 54:17 says,
“’No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,’ says the Lord.”
You are who God says you are: His beloved daughter, bought with the price of His Son’s blood and sealed with His Spirit as a guarantee. He has already overcome the world, and now you need to have faith that you will have that same victory in Him. May the Lord continue to crown you with His lovingkindness and tender mercies, and may you choose to rejoice and be glad in Him as you wait for Him expectantly.
Much love, sister,
Beloved by Him
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