Questions for His Precious Gift
His Precious Gift is mother of three, grandmother of four, a spiritual mother to many women, and a wife of forty years. She is full of God’s Spirit and love. She has a desire to be used by God to minister and mend broken hearts. His Precious Gift has served in prison ministry for several years. She also has a heart for ministering to younger women. Her years of experience, testimony, and love for Christ are here to serve each of you.
His Precious Gift is on duty Tuesday’s and Friday’s. Feel free to message her with any questions or situations that you would like advice on.
Scroll down and post your questions or situation in the ‘leave comment box’ below. A response will be posted back here within 48 hours. Your question and answer may also be featured on the home page.
More on His Precious Gift
Read questions answered by His Precious Gift
Read her testimony
To Seek advice from the counselor on duty - click Seeking Advice!
Popularity: 6% [?]
Dear Nina,
Dating can be an exciting season in your life, an adventure of the heart, but remember that your heart is fragile. You need to protect your heart because it belongs to God first, then you. Going too far is something that you need to handle with care, remember you need to maintain purity over passion because the consequences can be devastating. To be misled by looks, your own insecurity, lust, and the likes will lead to a used body, a guilty conscience and a broken heart.
Going too far? If you are asking about it is because you may be almost there. Are you feeling pressured to do something?
I don’t know if this person you are going out with is a Christian, but if he is not I would run towards the other direction. If he is, talk to him and share your feelings. Be honest.
Also surrender your expectations, emotions and will to God remembering that God’s timing is not our timing. I have discovered that God’s timing is just as important as God’s will. In fact, the Bible talks a lot about timing. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says,
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven” (NKJV)
Also Proverbs 3:1–4 (NLT) says,
“My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart, for they will give you a long and satisfying life…”
Sometimes we ignore what we know to be true in our hearts in order to satisfy momentary desires. But God has guaranteed lasting satisfaction by simply being obedient. Just listen to the Holy Spirit in you. He can help you overcome these desires.
If you set your mind on carnal or fleshly things, you will pursue those things; however, when you set your mind on the kingdom of God, you will pursue spiritual things (Romans 8:5-7). The carnal mind opposes God and the flesh profits nothing, but in the Spirit there is life (John 6:63).
Nina, I will be praying for you and your friend. I hope I you see that with every decision you make there will be consequences. Make wise choices, especially pertaining to purity.
Here are some other articles that may minister to you. They are from our ‘Dating God’s Way’ category.
http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/category/dating-gods-way/
Much Love,
His Precious Gift
I have a question I’m hoping you can help me with…I guess I just need some Godly advice. I want to do what’s right, and I want to live in such a way that when I look back, I’ll not have done major regretful things. Could you tell me how far is “too far” when it comes to physical contact with the person you’re going out with? I appreciate your guidance!
Elise your comment was received but was posted in multiple locations. Sweet Freedom will be addressing your comment. Follow this link to see when you response is posted. http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2011/09/28/questions-for-sweet-freedom/
This is going to be very long, so I apologize in advance. I may repost this same comment to other counselors because I’m so desperate to know what people will think without knowing who I am…
I was raised from the day I was born to be a christian and believe in god. I always believed it but never felt a strong connection. In middle school, I didn’t hang around the best crowd, but eventually saw myself turning into them and made myself stop. I pulled away from them, and when I did, I realized how little friends I actually had. How little they all cared about me. When I felt so alone, I asked my mother for her bible and read it every night. I got so in touch with my lord and savior jesus christ. He has helped me through so much since then. I love him with all my heart. I can’t tell you how close I have felt with him. I’ve witnessed too many miracles to ever doubt him… That’s why I never want to fail him in any way shape or form. I made a vow to myself never to do him wrong. I am abstinent and preach to others about waiting till marriage. I tell everyone to stay on the right path that god wants us to be on. I have never judged a problem or mistake a person made when opening up to me. I’ve always felt like I was doing exactly what god wanted me to do.
When I went to a new school, I met a catholic girl who seemed very smart and together. She was quiet though. Very quiet. She didn’t act like anyone else. She was kind of monotonic but I saw something broken inside her, and was really determined to know her and help her. She had a past she would never tell anyone, and always told me I was the first she considered telling. We got a lot closer, and I eventually told her she was my best friend. Her reaction isn’t the kind of reaction you get from most. She was scared. I realized she was scared of being close with people. I didn’t understand why at first but when she opened up about her past I came to discover as a child she was sexually abused, and then later on after her abuse took affect she had done some bad things herself. She felt horrible for it and cleaned herself up by getting in touch with god. I told her that was amazing and there was nothing to be ashamed of. However, her fear of getting close to people was still there. She pushed me away all the time. Sometimes she told me she was never going to talk to me again. I literally got on the ground and hugged her knees begging her not to go as I cried. I realized as time went on, I’d grown to love her. Not romantically, just love like a sister. Or honestly… Like a daughter. Although in some ways I look up to her, the way I love her can be very much related to a mother/daughter. She’s done horrible things to betray me before. The worst of the worst. In an instant, I forgave her when she was sorry. I protect her. I cry if I hear anyone say something bad about her, even if it’s justified. Her pain is my pain. I’d give my life for her right now. This very second if needed. No matter what she does, I’m always going to love her. These feelings were agonizing but so worth it. I felt no matter how hard it got, it would be the most beautiful thing to happen to me. I never knew I was capable of caring for someone so much. I felt the closer I was to this love, the closer I was to god. However… things ended up changing for the worse… She fell in love with me. I told her I could never do this because of god and didn’t return it. This made her turn from me and be cruel to me in ways she never had been before. As time went on, I did anything I could to get that to stop. Having a friend around I barely know makes her jealous. I’ve lost so many friends because I didnt talk to them, knowing it would hurt her. She told me she’d die if I had a boyfriend, so I lost a lot of guys I felt for. It went on and on seemingly with no end… till she made a plan to get me to feel the same. I heard about it from my friend that she had told. She wanted to be with me, but for us to keep it secret because she didnt want anyone to know. I didnt know how to reject once again, but surprised myself because when she told me about it, I ended up saying I returned it. I didnt believe myself when I first spoke the words… but as time went on, I really questioned it. Do I feel this way? Am I starting to love her in that way? She has a lot of guy-ish qualities I search for in a partner… is that it? and then I scream at myself like what are you thinking!!? I cry to god every night begging him not to be dissapointed in me. As time has gone on, she has kissed me, and she has held me, etc. I feel like I half-heartedly do it. I know it will hurt her if I stop… I know that if it wouldnt hurt her, id end things right now. I just wanna be best friends again… but at the same time, why did I say all that I said if It wasnt real? I’m so lost and confused and lonely. I feel so dirty. I never thought id be one of those people to get confused in this way. I dont like girls at all… I just love her. I’m straight but… this whole thing is so confusing. I wanna be best friends, but she said if we ended she would never talk to me again because it would be too painful. I know shes gonna label me as another one of her abusers if I left. I try to be honest with her about my guilt of god and she says she understands but she looks so hurt when I say it. I have nightmares about dying young and going to hell. I cry all the time. The littlest thing brings me to tears. I feel violated, but I wasnt because I give full consent to all of this. Please, I’m desperate for help. What do I do?
Dear Made in His Image,
You’re struggling with something that I struggle with too. My first knee-jerk response to you is PRAY!!! Pray for more infilling of the Holy Spirit.
When I cannot open the Bible and the words do not leap off of the page into my heart, I know that I need to clear up some things with God in prayer. So what works for me is that I take a long walk or jog (oh and I need to mention that I do this almost every day) with my headphones on with worship music, and I worship. Right now I am really getting into The Overflow, Live, Radiant Worship, it’s AWESOME!!! They remind me of U2 a bit. Anyway, once I have more Holy Spirit then I have no trouble getting into the Word. This will also make it easier for you to get into your studies. The Holy Spirit will help you to focus on the task that He has assigned for you to do. Nothing brings the presence of the Holy Spirit like worship. So try Worship!!
OK, so my counseling day is Monday’s and usually the night before I have a dream or I get a word that is not only for me but for the person whose question that I am answering the next morning. During my dream last night I kept hearing, “THE WORD WAS MADE FLESH”, pretty cool, right? Read John 1:1-18. The dream went on to much deeper than just speaking this phrase but it also showed myself and others around me being transformed, in this flesh or in our physical bodies, by the WORD (BIBLE). The Word can truly bring about such a change in your mind that it transforms your physical body.
“As a man thinks in his heart so is he”, Proverbs 3:27.
While I could tell you about the negative reasons why you are not able to read or focus on your studies right now, I want to give you the positive reasons why you should be in the Word. As a Christian, we should hunger and thirst for the Word. In Christians, the Word made flesh, in us, is our only hope of Glory in this life. We are to be like our Savior Jesus, who was the Word of God in the Flesh. Sure we could just get “saved” and go to heaven, but then think of all that you would have missed out on, like your transformation. The Word says we become the beauty of God in us with our own unique expression. (Read 2 Cor. 4:7) Also, we are transformed by the renewing of our minds by the Word according to Romans 12:2.
This is a butterfly season, so think of yourself like a butterfly, who is about to come out of her cocoon and receive her transformation!! Be the BEAUTY that God created you to be!!!
Blessings,
Sweet Freedom
Hey, its me again.
I am having trouble studying. No matter how much i want to i just can pick up a book and study. I’ll spend time reading fiction, or listen to songs or watching movies, i’ll do everything i am not suppose to do.
I’ve tried, honestly, to start again but its just so hard. And if there are times, like today, when i do sit and start studying i just can’t understand a thing i am doing, it’s like my brain is just shut! I have my exams coming up in 4 months and this is a VERY important exams, my entire career depends on how i perform and i need to start studying. Please tell me what to do. I really need help.
Love,
Made In His Image
I am so glad you decided to write, you seemed to have lots of concerns and hopefully I will be able to clarify most of them. Your first question is how you overcome the torturing memories and the only answer to that is through forgiveness.
Forgiveness is giving up resentment against someone else, along with your right to get even, no matter what has been done to you. Forgiveness will not always be easy or quick. But you can’t allow it to take root in your life and turn into bitterness. (Hebrews 12:15) Forgiving is difficult because it is unselfish. It involves laying down strong feelings and rights while releasing the other person from his or her obligation to repay you. It is a choice, like everything in life. You need to choose to be set free. It’s all up to you.
I see that you are angry, jealous, bitter and depressed and I am so sorry that you have allowed all these emotions to overpower you. Proverbs 14:12 says that there is a way that seems right to a person but the end is death. When we choose to ignore God’s instructions to us in His Word and go with our own ideas about how to live our lives, we are headed for destruction. It is an inevitable result of choosing a way that goes against God’s directives. There is power in choice. God can’t and won’t make us do anything, and the devil certainly can’t force us into anything we don’t willingly agree to. For this reason, the responsibility for the direction of our lives is in our hands. Jesus said He came to bring life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10); but it is up to us to make the decision to choose His way.
If you are not ready to forgive anything that I say will just fall on the way side, I am believing that you have come to a point in your life that you are ready to try anything and if that is true I would suggest you give God a chance to show you how much He loves you and how He can give you the strength to forgive in order to be able to live a life full of peace.
*How to Know You Have Forgiven
A. The harsh emotions you’ve had towards others will be replaced by compassion.
B. You’ll be able to accept others without feeling bitter, even if they never change. You will try to understand why they acted as they did.
C. You will feel thankful that God allowed the difficult experience to teach you more about the riches of His grace.
Regarding your children, do you know that your children are a gift from God? (Psalm 127:3) Also as humans I know that we do the best we can as we are raising them and it’s very hard sometimes but one thing I know is that there comes a time that we need to give them back to God, and the reason for that is that as they grow and they make their own decisions. Even though we support them and guide them, they will must choose their own path.
One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11 and it says: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
There comes a point in our lives that we need to say I have tried everything and nothing has work so what do I have to lose. I strongly sugguest that you just give God a chance to touch your heart.
In the situation with your daughter, I suggest that every time you talk with her just make sure you are encouraging her and tell her how much you love her. Psalm 45:1 states:
“My tongue is the pen of a skillful writer”.
This means when you speak words, you are writing them on your heart; and whatever is conceived in your heart will eventually come out of your mouth and manifest in your life. They will also manifest in what you speak over your children.
I hope that in the future, after you have made the decision to forgive, that your relationship with your mother would heal and you two can have a relationship centered in Gods awesome love.
I know I have given you a lot of info and you have a big decision to make: Romans 10:9 Promises, “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” If you have not yet begun your personal relationship with God, understand that the One who created you and loves you no matter whom you are or what you’ve done, He wants you to experience the profound depth of His care and His Grace.
I will be praying for you and hopefully you will make the right choice so you can continue the rest of this journey in this world as a daughter of a King!
Here are some articles that I would like to share with you that I hope will speak to your heart.
Forgiveness Is A Process - http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/05/20/forgiveness-is-a-process/
Forgiving Yourself…From Sins Of The Past Pt 1 - http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/05/11/forgiving-yourselffrom-sins-of-the-past-pt-1/
Forgiving Yourself…From Sins Of The Past Pt 2 - http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/05/12/forgiving-yourselffrom-sins-of-the-past-pt-2/
Many Blessings.
His Precious Gift
I am writing because I am very confused and need spiritual advice and knowledge. I am really trying to leave the past in the past and move on but even though people seem to think I hold grudges, its not true! I had a problem with my father at a young age in which my mother never and till today never believed me, she also seems to think I can just forget and move on with life. I have lived with this burden all my life that has been weighing me down and no matter I try to let it go because I will never forget it keeps coming back and my depression kicks in because I miss my relationship with my mother. How do I overcome this torturing memory? I have lived a very unstable life with an abusing husband, I am a mother of 3 beautiful children and struggling with one in prison for life without parole was the sentence. I don’t know what I would do if my baby is never returned to me, I have suicidal thoughts and depression that has kept me in bed for days, wait and then my older daughter thinks her grandmother is her mother and treats me awful and is very disrespectful to me, I allowed this to happen by sending her in a young age to live with them! I feel jealous that what I never received as there daughter, my daughter did. But I am happy to see the independent woman she has become.
Please help because I know I need to have faith and trust in God in a lot of these situations and I do, it’s just so hard to let go and forget~! And I want my mother, I need my mother… How can a mother just disregard there child like nothing or nobody?
Sincerely,
Very Sad Person
If given the opportunity apologize. Don’t be afraid. But beware that you don’t fall into the trap of feeling sorry and then getting caught up in a relationship again.
Hello and thank you for writing in to our site. My name is Precious in His Sight, I’m on duty today and will be responding to your advice request on behalf of His Precious Gift.
I am so sorry that you are going through this right now in your life. I can feel the distress and worry in the words that you wrote. I want to first share a few scriptures with you.
Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 55:8-9 “My thoughts are completely different from yours,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”
You and your family are going through a lot with this young girl. She seems to be a very troubled individual and it’s probably because she feels lost within herself. Just for a moment put yourself in her shoes and think about how you would feel if you were tossed around from family to family. I’m definitely not condoning her behavior I simply want you to take a glimpse at her frustration about life. She probably feels unloved and unwanted. I’m sure that both you and your family have adorned her with love, yet she still probably still feels a void in her life which can only be filled by the Lord Jesus Christ.
My suggestion to you is to seek Godly counsel through your church. Speak with a youth minister or youth leader or any pastor or minister at your church. Encourage your family to seek advice and counsel from your church and you should all go in and talk as a family and let this young girl go in with you all and speak one on one so that she can get the Godly counsel that she needs.
What you and your family know about her may only be on the surface of what she has experienced in her short life. You don’t realize the emotional rollercoaster that this girl is probably experiencing daily because of the way her life has been. And this is how she acts out, through anger and violence.
The bible tells us that we should not worry about anything but we should pray about everything. God has given you this burden and you are now seeking advice on how to handle your family crisis. So now it’s up to you to go before the Lord in prayer and ask Him to show you and tell you what He wants you and your family to do. Ask God in prayer to give you a peace that goes beyond your understanding of this situation. Then begin praying for this young girl. Pray that God would soften her heart and give her a peace to deal with herself. Ask God to help this young girl to love herself and focus on Him and not her circumstances. Pray also for your parents because their heart is kind but because of her attitude and behavior they are being burnt. Pray that your parents will not become burnt out in their good deeds. The bible tells us that God will cause ALL things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Your family has been called to care for this young girl for this particular time. Whether she will be with you and your family forever is totally up to God. So in the mean time, do your best to carry out the call that God has placed upon your family, which is caring for this young girl. I know that she is rough around the edges but my suggestion to you is to not show her your fear. You stand up boldly and with confidence with her and do not allow her to put her hands on you or your siblings. Speak calmly and softly to her because she’s probably use to loudness and anger coming her way because of her behavior. Therefore she’s always up for a good confrontation, but if you confront her with love then her attitude will become more pacified because she will feel the love and not anger.
Just remember that all of this will not be overnight because she did not become this way overnight. This is a gradual process that will take time and a whole lot of patience to smooth out. But through lots of prayer and wise counsel you and your family will get through all of this.
Once again, I thank you for writing into our site and I pray that my advice to you will help see things clearer. I’ll leave you with these comforting scriptures;
Psalm 55:22 Give your burdens to the Lord and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.
Psalm 91:14-15 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them.
Be blessed always,
Precious in His Sight