Anonymous writes…

hello,im writing because im feeling desperate. here is my situation. my boyfriend and i almost a year ago had a baby together. a few months later with the help from the prayers of both of our fathers, we accepted jesus as our saviour. we decided to live for him and although we lived together, we didn’t have sex. about a month ago, he kind of went back to his old ways and no longer goes to church or prays with me. it has been really difficult but iv tried to just act with love towards him. we’ve been having many problems (him going out and doing things like drugs or alcohol) iv also told him that i don’t want to live in sin and wanted to know if marriage was on his mind. he told me that he wanted to be with me forever n marry, but that he wasn’t sure when. i told him within the next 5 yrs i would like to b married since i want to have another baby and so does he. its been rocky since and we fight n i forgive him but the advice i get from others is confusing and i really don’t know what to do PLEASE HELP!!!! i try and pray about it but i find myself confused

Beloved By Him replies…

Dear Sister in Christ,

Let’s stop for a moment and instead of focusing on what’s going wrong, we’ll first look at the good things God has done that you can be thankful for. You’ve received Christ Jesus as your Savior! That’s awesome! You have become a new creation in Him, your future in eternity is secure, and you have the Holy Spirit living in you, guiding you and giving you His peace and love. So that’s number one. Number two is that you were blessed with a baby, a true gift from the Lord. When we are blessed with children, the Bible says that God has rewarded us (Psalm 127:3). It also sounds like your dad is a Christian, another big thing to be thankful for. So it’s clear that the Lord is working in your life, and that He has plans for your future, and we know that His plans are always good (Jer. 29:11).

There will be times in our lives when we have to choose to pursue God, no matter what the others around us are doing—even those we love and care about the most. Christians, those who truly love God and desire to serve Him, are called to put aside our own will and let God lead our lives (Matt. 16:24-25). It’s great when we have support from loved ones, but sometimes, we have to walk the road alone. We’re never totally alone, because God never leaves us, but we may have to stand on our own, determined to serve only Him, no matter what others may be doing.

It sounds like you may be in that place right now. You have a heart to do God’s will, to live righteously, but your boyfriend is being drawn into sin, serious sin that could jeopardize not just his health and safety, but yours and your baby’s also. He’s your baby’s dad, and you love him, but your responsibility is to honor God by protecting and providing for yourself and your baby. Whatever decisions you make need to be based on your love for God, your love for yourself, and your love for your child. Your boyfriend, like all the rest of this, is in God’s hands. Let God work on him.

Your desire to be married is an honorable one. God designed marriage to be a blessing, and it is supposed to represent our relationship to Christ Jesus, with us being the bride, and Him being the husband Who gives Himself for His beloved people (Eph. 5:22-33). Your future husband should feel the same way. He should have a willingness to sacrifice all that he is in order to take care of the one he loves. You need to know in your heart and spirit before you get married that you have chosen that kind of man. Let your standard be God’s standard as well. He doesn’t want you to settle.

Do you have a mentor? Maybe it’s your dad, or someone in your family or church that you trust and that you know is filled with the Holy Spirit. It would be great if you could find an older woman to come alongside you, who is willing to listen and pray with you, and help you understand the Word, especially because you’ve only been a Christian a short time. But even if it’s just you, you have the Holy Spirit, too. He will teach you and show you what you need to know, so that you will have wisdom about your life and whatever decisions you need to make (John 14:26). One of the best things you can do for yourself and your child is to grow in your own relationship with Jesus. If you will make Him your first priority, you will see that He will work on all the rest, and He is so faithful to deal with His people with love and grace (Matt. 6:33).

In Proverbs 11, there are several verses that talk about the rewards of righteousness. In verses 3-6, we see that by living righteously (according to God’s will and law), we will have guidance, direction, profit, and deliverance. And in verses 18-19, we also see that righteousness leads to life and has a sure reward. When you received Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you answered His call to come out of the darkness and into the light of His righteousness (Eph. 5:8-11). This is a time when your faith in Him will be tested, and you need to pray for the strength and resolve to rise to the occasion. If God didn’t know you could do it, He wouldn’t have allowed you to be in this situation (Rom. 8:28, I Cor. 10:13).

I pray that the Lord will give you the wisdom you need to make the best decisions for yourself and your child, and that He will pour His love and hope out in your heart by His Holy Spirit, as He reminds you that you can do all things through Christ Who gives you strength (Rom. 5:5, Phil. 4:13). When you get a chance, please read II Peter 1:1-11.

Love,

Beloved by Him

Popularity: 3% [?]