It’s Sad That Christian Men Act This Way
Anonymous writes back in response to ‘I Really Do Consider Divorcing Him’
Dear Trophy of Grace,
I have been having problems opening your website for few days, but I am glad it worked out for me to read your kind and encouraging words today. I am staying away from my husband for 7 weeks now. My friend called today whose husband started to be agressive to her doing similar things my husband has been doing to me (they are christians), so she is coming to stay with me (fortunately I have my own flat). She has a 4 year old child. It is so sad that christian men act this way. Both of our husbands are ministers in the church. Thank you very much for your prayers, I went to the church service tonight and the verse Romans 8:28 was used today as central in a sermon so it was for a reason I could open your site only today - God spoke to me twice that it will work out for my good. Thank you again! Yes, I am praying, and went to the counselor myself the thing though is that the counselor I have been going to is that friend who is coming to stay with me this week with her daughter, her husband acts the same way. This is really hard. You know, one thing I feel though is that I think I will never be able to trust my husband again. Forgive, yes, but trust…..I am really afraid of him. I feel safer walking down the dark street by myself than being with my husband in my own home. Thank you for listening.
Trophy of Grace replies…
I am glad that you are safe now. However I still feel a lot of concern for your situation even more so now that there is another woman seeking refuge with you from her husband, who also happens to be a minister in the same church. There are a lot of red flags going up for me regarding your church’s ministers.
Elders and ministers are supposed to be men whose lives are above reproach. They must be faithful to their wives. They must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. They must enjoy having guest in their homes, and they must be able to teach. They must not be heavy drinkers or be violent. They are supposed to be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. They must manage their own family well, having children who respect and obey them. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? From what you ladies seem to be going through with these ‘ministers’ it doesn’t seem that they are what Paul described to Timothy. (1 Timothy 3:1-7)
I strongly suggest that both of you ladies pray about going to the elders of your church about the situation that you are facing. The elders are called to feed and guard God’s flock-His church. (Acts 20:28, 1 Peter 5:2) They are the spiritual leaders of the congregation who are to oversee the church leaders and operations. They must be informed of what is going on. These ministers must receive correction so that they do not fall completely away from the truth.
Jesus said this about correcting believers:
Matthew 18:15-17 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”
Follow Jesus instruction and allow the truth to be revealed. Remember that it is in knowing the truth that people are free. (John 8:32) We will all be praying for you.
Enclosing I would like to say if there is ever a situation where you find yourself in eminent danger call the authorities immediately.
Sincerely,
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