Anonymous Asks:

Dear sister,

Please give me the verses which confirms or show who we are in Christ Jesus to overcome feelings of being unloved and rejected.

i have lot of complex about my looks and i don’t care to dress well even though i have good dresses in the wardrobe. i am also putting on too much weight now.

please help

Beloved by Him Replies:

My sister,

I went back and looked at the questions you’ve posted recently to WeUsed2bu, and I think you’ve really come to the heart of the matter with what you’ve said just now—it’s who we are in Christ Jesus that makes us worthy, valuable, and loved. If we don’t know who we are to Him and in Him, we can never fully experience His love, nor can we truly love others. We will always, as you know, be building walls of protection, false ego, and pride around ourselves if we can’t allow His love to be our dwelling place.

Sister, if we are in Christ, then we will never be rejected or unloved. Your pride and fear are keeping you, as they did me, from experiencing the fullness and healing power of God’s love. If you will repent and humble yourself before the Lord, He will show you how much He really loves you. I beg you to do this now, before you find yourself in a prison of your own making (Ps. 107:10-16, 1 Peter 5:6). Because of the hardness of my heart, God allowed me to learn the hard way. Yet, at a time in my life when I was most broken by my own pride, God in His infinite mercy taught me what love, His real love, was all about.

The first word that got my attention was Ephesians 3:17-19, which says, “that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” For me, to know that at the lowest point of my life, I was still loved that deeply by God through Christ Jesus, I could not resist it. It gave me hope and desire to push on. God also sent me a second word, from Romans 8, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written:
“For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (v. 35-39) It began to become clear to me that nothing we ever experience in life could change, or separate us from, God’s love.

Then God brought me to the book of I John. I truly believe that this is a love letter from God to His people. There is so much to learn about the love of God in this book: how much He loves us (3:1), how He is the source of love and the reason we should love others (4:7-21), and how His perfect love casts out fear in our lives (4:18). I John 5:1-3 says, “Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.” Sister, our lives are not about whether or not others love and accept us. The purpose of our lives is to abide in and experience God’s love for us, and how we in turn learn to actively love Him and love others.

Your self-esteem should come from knowing how much your Heavenly Father, your Savior, and your life-giving Holy Spirit love, care about, and cherish you. God planned and created you for His good pleasure! Take some time to read Ephesians 1 and 2, which affirm the many gifts of grace the Lord has poured out on you in love. Memorize Jeremiah 31:3,

“The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying:
‘Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.’”

Know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him! (Ps. 139:14) If the Lord has given you beautiful clothes, then wear them with thanksgiving, in a spirit of quiet gentleness, giving glory to God and being glorious in your husband’s eyes as well (I Cor. 6:20, 11:7-9, I Peter 3:3-5). Let the self-control of the Holy Spirit govern your eating habits as He satisfies your mouth with good things and renews your youth (Ps. 103:5). Be a good steward of your body and give it exercise, building up your arms with strength (Pr. 31:17). Caring for ourselves is not about pride, meeting the world’s standards, or being pleasing to people (Gal. 1:10). When we do everything as unto the Lord, in a spirit of humility, we show our understanding that all we have is from the Lord, and we are to dedicate every resource, every opportunity, every action, back to Him in loving service.

If being loved by God is not enough for us, then what will be? If we can’t humble ourselves before our Creator and Savior, and allow Him to fill our hearts and lives with purpose and meaning, what could possibly ever take His place? He is all in all—nothing can compare to Him, and nothing can fulfill us like seeking His face and doing His will. I hope that you will let everything else go and embrace the Lover of your soul, your faithful God, your Beloved and your Friend. He is ready and waiting to give you everything you need for life and godliness (II Peter 1:3). Go to Him, and don’t give up!

Love,
Beloved by Him

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