How Do You Just Go Back To Holding Hands And Kissing?
Anonymous writes…
I’m 17 and in my first relationship. We’ve been…exploring…our physical relationship to the point where we came very close to having sex. We backed off on our physical relationship a little, but now we’re back to “2nd base.” In the moment, I don’t see anything wrong with his touching my chest but I later realize how much it compromises my purity. I really andtruly believe that I love my boyfriend, but I also believe that what we are doing is not reflective of a Christian life. He thinks that touching my chest isn’t bad. My question is: after going so far, how do you go back to just holding hands and kissing? I don’t know how to have that conversation. Please help me.
Trophy of Grace replies…
I am glad that you are seeking godly counsel. It is most certainly the Holy Spirit that is guiding you to get confirmation of what He is already showing you and convicting your heart about.
Don’t be deceived, going back to ‘just’ holding hands and kissing is not going to help you remain pure sister. Holding hands and kissing has gotten you to the point you’re at now, mainly the kissing part. You see kissing is foreplay. It provokes lusts. Several weeks back we answered another girl who asked, “How do I define a line and not cross it?” This sister wanted to know if kissing compromised her decision to remain pure. Please take a moment to read the response given to her. It has some other references and postings that I think could help you too.
How Do I Define A Line And Not Cross It
To be completely honest with you sister I believe that this relationship is serving as a tremendous stumbling block to your Christian walk. I am not sure that you will be able to stay in the relationship and not continue to compromise your purity. You’ve tried to control yourself but you find yourself getting right back to the point where the passion, lust, and hormones take over and you just want to give in to the sinful desires awakened and raging in your body. Afterwards you have the Holy Spirit ever so lovingly tapping at your heart with that conviction that just lets you know that you can’t keep going like this because you represent Christ. However, you know this behavior is not Christ-like and is sinful.
Sister your boyfriend is influencing you and minimizing this sinful behavior by trying to convince you that there is nothing wrong with him stimulating your breasts. He is leading you and provoking you into sin, instead of respecting your desire to want to stay pure and glorify Christ. Perhaps he is not a Christian and therefore does not understand that your body is the temple of God and you are to honor God with it. This is the consequence of being unequally yoked with an unbeliever. On the other hand he could be a believer that indulges in sexual sin, which still puts you in a compromising position because the Word tells us not to associate with such believers because their sin is like yeast that spreads. (2 Corinthians 6:14-16, 1 Corinthians 5:11)
Either way the Word that comes to my heart is in 2 Timothy 2:22 which says,
“RUN from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. ENJOY THE COMPANIONSHIP OF THOSE WHO CALL ON THE LORD WITH PURE HEARTS.”
&
Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, LET US STRIP OFF EVERY WEIGHT THAT SLOWS US DOWN, ESPCIALLY THAT SIN THAT SO EASILY TRIPS US UP. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.”
In 2 Timothy the Word tells us to run from anything (including people) that stimulate youthful lusts in us. Instead of spending time with people that are going to cause us to stumble in our faith we should be spending time with those who call on the Lord with pure hearts, in your case you need a true man of God who will help you not hinder you. I believe right now this relationship is a weight that is slowing you down and tripping you up, causing you to sin.
My suggestion is this..Get out of this relationship as soon as possible and draw close to God. Get your focus back on your relationship with Christ. Spend time with the Lover of your soul. Allow your faith and roots to grow down deep in His Word and love. Then you will see your mind renewed, your faith strengthen, and your life changed forever. You will become a strong woman of God better prepared for a godly marriage. Drop out of the dating scene for a good long while; take at least a year off to date Jesus exclusively. I promise your life will be transformed and you will be blessed beyond what you can image.
May the Lord give you the strength, courage, and faith to do His will. May you be obedient to heed the voice of the Lord all the days of your life.
In Jesus name I pray..Amen.
I will be praying for you sister..
Sincerely,
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