He Is Using His Friend To Get To Me
Jesusflower writes…
Hi I have a serious problem once you read this please respond qickly ok here goes I am a christian and my ex boyfriend is nothe broke up with me for another girl and to be honest im not one to cry but my emotions overwhelmed me he was my first true real boyfriend im 18 now we had been going out since we where in the 10th grade and our 11th grade year he broke up with me Mostly because of God after the breakup it seemed as if he was trying to make me jelious or something long story short i loved him and i still do but he broke a piece of my heart that i have not been able to retrieve back after the breakup we stoped talking stop giving each other eye contact and everything well about two days a friend and I went were walking to the math building of the school i was helping her with a art project after we left the math building we were walking back to our normal little group of friends when out of the blue one of my ex’s and I’S friend called me over there my ex was with him to they were standing alone so i came over there and waved hi to my ex and then waved at our friend then this friend gave me a hug and pushed me over to my ex saying don’t you remember M im sorry it would be the off chance that my ex sees this so lets just call him M for now um so i was like yeah and i gave my ex a hug and he gave me a hug with a smile why would this happen all out of the blue like this and he is still going out with the girl he broke up with me over. yeasterday my friend and i were coming back from the math building again and my ex and this friend were hanging out again this time this friend was like hey refering to me he then said “I told M that that new game he has is from the devil” he joked i waved at my ex again smiled and kept walking i am starting to think that my ex wantes to go back out with me again and that he is using this friend to try and get me to come over and talk to him WHAT IS YOUR GUESS PLEASE GIVE ME A RESPONCE FAST
THANKS JESUSFLOWER
P.S. YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY AWESOME
Gabi replies…
Dear friend:
My heart goes out to you because I know that a broken heart is really painful. I want to remind you that our Heavenly Father, who sent his Son to die for us, loves us and desires to protect our hearts.
A specific Scripture comes to mind where we are told that we are not to yoke ourselves to the unbeliever (2 Cor 6:14). Paul specifically points out why and this shows us the loving and caring side of our Father in heaven. He tells us “what does light have to do with darkness?”, “what communion, what agreement can there be between those who know the LORD and those who don’t have the privilege to do so?”
By your own admittance, you are a Christian and M is not. Think about this situation. M is free from the conviction, from the restraint that could stop him from doing hurtful things. Without the grace (holy restraint) from Christ’s Spirit, that only children of God have, he is unable to put anyone before his own desires. He is enslaved to his own sin and will always be bent toward caring for number 1, M.
Your Father in heaven does not desire this for any of his daughters. Remember the Bible tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that HE has good plans for those who are His. He is never out to ruin our fun or keep us from having what is best. He is always seeking to see us grow in his grace toward being more and more like Jesus.
Ask yourself this question. Is M someone who could influence me to be more like Jesus? I think that no matter what M might be trying to do right now through possibly using his friend to catch your attention, something greater should be driving you, it should be your own answer to the above question. Until M has the privilege of being called one of God’s own he really is not even a candidate to handle your heart. Please consider how loving, how protecting and marvelous is the One who calls you His own.
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jcgirl7,
I would like to add..Maybe our Lord is just closing the door on this relationship for your own good. Trust Him and take some time to stop dating and draw close to God. Seek His heart, will, and direction for your life. Your mate will come..Don’t drive yourself crazy looking for him. Trust your Heavenly Father to bring Him to you! Love you sister..Stay tuned to this month’s topic on dating.
xoxo’s to you!
Hi there,
I remember feeling just like this when I was younger. All of my relationships were very unsatisfying after a few months and never led to anything more serious. In looking back I think I had a bit of an identity crisis. In every relationship I had a tendency to try to fit into the requirements of the other person instead of just being myself. Why was it that I couldn’t be myself? Well, I couldn’t be myself because I was clueless as to who I truly was. I had no idea of who I was, what I really liked, didn’t like, what I wanted or didn’t want. Come to find out most of this was coming from a lack of nurturing in my younger years from my parents.
I was raised by a single mom who really had no time to nurture my identity much less encourage any part of me that was different than her. While she did her best she wasn’t prepared or able to help me in this very important part of growing up. Little did I know that this pattern of not knowing who I was manisfested in every one of my relationships, especially with those of the opposite sex. The fact that my dad was not involved in my life added greatly to my identity issues.
I must say that it was not until the LORD came into my life that things started to become clear (2 cor 5:17). I do admit that at the time I felt lost and hopeless of any change. Just like you it seemed that I was going in circles. The good news is that little by little He showed me that He had been with me all along and that HE would repair all the damage done.
During my time of healing it was necessary to stay away from romantic relationships. God did expect me to venture out of my comfort zone and start trying to be myself with those around me. Part of me was paralyzed because of fear of rejection. This, too, I learned to get past and little by little I started finding out who God had created me to be. When I felt more confident in who I was, God allowed me to start getting to know guys and I could definitely tell the difference both in my behavior and the way they reacted towards me. I learned that nobody is going to be able to treat me better than I can treat myself. If I didn’t consider or respect myself there was no way I could expect that from someone else.
If you are ultimately not secure in who you are others can sense that and feel a responsibility to care for you that is beyond their ability. I learned that healthy people are drawn to healthy people and sick people are drawn to the sick people.
There is nothing wrong with you apart from maybe needing God to show you who you are apart from any patterns of the world. God created you in His image and sin plus the world has distorded this image. The best you can do is invest some time with God so He can heal you and make you the woman He created you to be.
with love,
gabie
hi OKi just got out of a new realationship somehow was kinda pushed into it and today i pushed myself out of it gentally but lately im starting to think something is wrong with me i mean this realationship did not work at all me and the guy had nothing in common at all really it was aweful but im starting to think something is wrong with me beacause every realationship i find myself in turns out wrong in some way my last realationship was bad the above passage and him and that girl are getting married after high school he has a ring and everything why could that not have been me what was so wrong with me im tired of feeling lost
You are not the only one going through this. The battle is in your mind. Start taking your thoughts captive and replacing them with the Word of God. Go through our archives; there are other postings about the same thing. Here are some postings we think could help you..
http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/08/07/i-should-really-be-over-it-by-now-but-im-not-yet/
http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/07/20/should-i-wait-for-him-or-just-completely-get-over-him/
http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/08/10/what-are-good-scriptures-to-meditate-on/
hi im siting here with only one thought on my mind my ex i think about him all the time please give me advice as to stop thinking about him its been over a year since our break up and my mind is still on him it does not help eather that i see him every day at school please give me some advice for my situation