Hanging Out With New Boyfriend & Old Boyfriend Wants To Fight Him
Needs Help writes…
My ex boyfriend and I were together for a little over 4 years when I decided we needed to break up. He didn’t make me happy anymore and always called me names like fat, tubs, and ugly. He always hurt my feelings and has hit me before. He didn’t beat me but he has punched me in the arm and one time he did throw a fold up chair and it hit me in the face. So I finally realized that I didn’t want to be treated that way anymore and broke up with him! It has been a month since we broke up and my life was getting better! I started hanging out with my friends more and started really liking this really nice guy. The only problem is my ex! He calls and texts me everyday and won’t leave me alone! I’m not afraid that he will hit me again because it has been a really long time since that has happened, but he has been threating to fight this new guy I have been talking to! I really like this guy a lot and he treats me 10 times better than my ex ever has and I’m afriad that because of all the drama my ex is causing, we won’t have our chance to see how much we like each other! Just last night me and the new guy was hanging out with a few friends at their work and my ex texts me saying that he seen us and that he was going to come there and fight him! So I start getting all upset because I don’t want the new guy to fight him because of me and my ex just doesn’t realize that I don’t want to be with him anymore. In order for my ex not to come and start anything I had to promise him I would give him another chance with me real soon! I had to do it so he wouldn’t come and cause trouble, but that’s not what I want! I really don’t no what to do anymore! I don’t want to lose this new guy over my ex and even though the new guy says he will be ok and not to worry about anything, I can’t help but to worry! Please help me, I need it so bad!
Trophy of Grace replies…
Dear Needs Help,
To be quite honest with you sister I do not believe you should be dating either of these two guys. In fact I do not believe that you should be dating at all right now. The truth is that you have not had enough time to heal from this dysfunctional and abusive relationship. You were with this young man for four years and within a month after the break-up you are dating someone else? You are on the rebound sister.
This should be a time of healing, regrouping, and refocusing your life. You’re trying to recover from this painful relationship by searching for love from someone new, but the One who can help you recover and who longs to heal your broken heart and comfort you is Jesus, your Savior. I think it’s time for you to turn to Him and let Him have His way with your life. Start seeking His way of doing things, instead of your own. He has all the answers that you need in His Word. He is the real lover of your soul. He died for you so that you could live a life more abundant here on this earth and so that you would not have to walk alone ever. (Matthew 6:33,John 10:10)
He will be faithful and you can trust Him with your secrets. You can trust Him with your heart. He will never leave you or forsake you. He will never abuse you. He as wonderful plans for your life and always has. He has precious thoughts about you day and night. He thinks about you so much that the thoughts that He has for you daily cannot be numbered! (Jeremiah 29:11-13, Hebrews 11:5, Psalm 139)
If you will surrender your life (your will) to Jesus, He will change your life forever. He will love you, serve you, teach you, bless you, and use you to bring glory to His name. You will still have problems but you will have hope, because once you have a personal relationship with Him you will know that He works everything out for your good. Even what the enemy means to destroy you He will turn from your good. (2 Corinthians 5:17, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Romans 8:28, Genesis 50:20)
Jesus is the Way to forgiveness from our sins and right standing with God. He is the Truth that will set you free. He is the Life that we all have been looking for. The choice is yours to make. (John 14:6)
Regarding the stalker ex-boyfriend, if he’s getting threatening then you should very seriously and prayerfully consider putting a restraining order on him. You could let him know that you’re contemplating it. Sometimes that is enough to make tough guys stop. You do not need to live afraid of anyone.
I suggest you let the new guy go and take a good year to heal from this relationship and draw close to the Lord. Focus on a relationship with Christ. Everything else will come later. Believe me Jesus wants to give you the desires of your heart; however He doesn’t want you to settle for rebound love. He wants to give you the real deal. If this is the guy for you then it will be in God’s timing.
I will be praying for you sister.
Sincerely,
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