Written by WeUsed2bu reader Jen.

Are you talking directly to me Lord? With all the challenges of my life today (which are much different from those of yesterday)…He knows just what it is I need, and is sharing it with me, urging me, encouraging me, and providing hope for my tomorrow each day. How is His message speaking into your life?

I remember how I felt going to church as a young child. I remember how it felt to go through all of the Christian experiences that I did as a child. I remember not truly understanding what it all meant … but I knew there was a God. I remember all the childhood experiences I had outside of the church. I remember being shaken, not confident, bullied, scared, carrying a low self esteem and not sharing how I felt openly, but normally keeping it all to myself. Maybe not questioning who God was, or where He was in my life … simply not turning to Him at all as a child. (I could do it ALL on my own attitude.)

I remember moving to Florida at the age of 14. At first I was angry…all that I knew was gone; but then I saw it as opportunity (revenge)…but I went about it completely the wrong way. I used this time to create a new Jen, a fake Jen…someone who would fit in wherever she would be accepted. Living for me and not for HIM. Like before, not applying God’s principles into my life…but my own principles.

I spent the larger portion of my life with a sense of personal unworthiness, which can also take away the acceptance of God’s love. Focusing on past sins and moral failures, or comparing myself with others, which led to guilt and hopelessness. Satan specializes in promoting these self-condemning thoughts and feelings. The Lord never says, “Straighten up, and then I’ll care about you.” Remember that divine love is based on God’s character, not on our performance. It wasn’t until my life was crumbling completely that I finally realized He has a purpose and needs me for his KINGDOM.
With a lot of life experience already under my belt, I slowly stopped doing things on my own, and started resting in His arms and His desires for my life. I started accomplishing positive things in life…building confidence…and finally getting comfortable in my own skin. I wound up discovering both who I was…and who God was again. Loving being held by Him, and knowing He won’t let me go. That He has a will and a purpose for my LIFE! He has the right soul mate picked for me!

Looking back … I wouldn’t change a thing. I was made to go through all that I have in order to become the woman I am today. The woman God is slowly molding me to be. To acknowledge the gifts and abilities that God has given me…and to use them for His glory rather than my own. He has equipped me yesterday for whatever is to come today. He has equipped you, too.

Each unique thing… what I am equipped to do … is different from what He’s equipped you to do … and through the many, He’s got it all covered. The lives that He intersects with our own are for purpose…His purpose. When you live for yourself, you miss it all…and don’t truly live. Sure, you may live a great life, have money and many things…but that’s not living with purpose, but substance.

Lord, I am thankful for whom You’ve made me to be, that You have equipped me with these talents and abilities…and that You have led me to a place in my life where I get to use them all for You. I am thankful for the life that You have for me and the future is in Your hands. Thank You for knowing exactly how to reveal and reintroduce Yourself to me…timing and all. I pray Father, that through all that You’ve given me, I am able to plant a seed, cultivate a seed, and perhaps even see the fruits of Your labor through me.

Help us get out of our own way. Let the Holy Spirit flow at 100% …without blockage of ourselves. Let us be encouraged by Your love…and let us see our lives for what they are, were, and will be. TOTALLY Yours.