It Hurts When People Talk About or Exclude Us
Anonymous writes…
Is it bad to be sensitive? Like if your cousins leave you out of a conversation or call you names? Are you just supposed to block it out?
Trophy of Grace replies…
Well sister it hurts when people talk about us or when they exclude us. I believe that often times people may not even be aware that they have hurt us. So the best thing to do is go directly to the person and let them know nicely. If you don’t go directly to the person you may find yourself going to other people sharing your hurt and that could just turn into gossip. If you hold it too long a root of bitterness may try to creep in on you. So go straight to the source of your offense quickly so that you find a resolution to the problem. Pray before you go and ask the Lord to touch their heart and to give you the words to speak.
If the drama continues then you will have to ask God to help you not be easily offended and to help you forgive your offender. Pray for anyone who talks about you, persecutes you, or uses you. The truth is sister that people talked about Jesus and they will talk about us too.
Here a couple of postings I wrote that perhaps could help you.
The Poisonous Root Of Bitterness
Here are also some verses that I pray speak to you.
Luke 6:27-28 27 “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. 28 Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”
John 15:18-21 18 “If the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. 19 The world would love you as one of its own if you belonged to it, but you are no longer part of the world. I chose you to come out of the world, so it hates you. 20 Do you remember what I told you? ‘A slave is not greater than the master.’ Since they persecuted me, naturally they will persecute you. And if they had listened to me, they would listen to you. 21 They will do all this to you because of me, for they have rejected the One who sent me.
Matthew 5:11-12 11 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.
Matthew 10:24-27 24 “Students are not greater than their teacher, and slaves are not greater than their master. 25 Students are to be like their teacher, and slaves are to be like their master. And since I, the master of the household, have been called the prince of demons, the members of my household will be called by even worse names!
Hebrews 12:15 “Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.”
Colossians 3:12-13 12 “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Sincerely,
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Well sister the first thing you should do is pray. Take your cares and concerns right to the throne room. He cares about what you’re going through. He sees how you are hurting. (1 Peter 5:7) The reason why I say pray is because if you have accepted Jesus as your Savior then His Holy Spirit lives in you. His Spirit and His Word together is what God uses to guide and leads us down the right path for our lives. They help us to make wise decisions.
Should you stay in your group or move? I think you need to evaluate if these friendships help or hurt you. Do they edify and encourage you? Do they truly love you? Do they love the Lord? Do they help you on your Christian walk or do they serve to pull you off the narrow road that Jesus said that we had to walk on? (Matthew 7:14)
Sister bad company corrupts good character. (1 Corinthians 15:33) Just by what you have told us here. It does not seem that these group of people serve to help you, instead them seem to be hindering you. Before too long if you continue to hang out with bad company you will begin to act just like them. Negative influences and compromise will eventually infect us if we are constantly surrounded by it. Sin is contagious.
Back in September 09 our theme for the month was ‘Friendships-The Heart of The Matter’. There are some very good postings full of wisdom and wise counsel that I believe will help you make your decision. Here is a link to all of the postings that month.
http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/category/all-this-month-friendships-the-heart-of-the-matter/
There is one in particular that I would like you to read. It’s called ‘Choose Your Friends Wisely’.
http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/09/15/choose-your-friends-wisely/
I know that God is already working on your heart about this situation and I am sure that He will give you the courage to make the right decision. I also believe that He will send you better friends that will help you on your journey through this life.
Sincerely,
Trophy of Grace
P.S.
Don’t hold grudges. Forgive them and let it go. Pray for them and love them anyways. Even though that may mean loving them from a distance.
Yeah i am kind of going through the same thing. It hurts a lot when you look at your friends phones and laptops and realise how many times they went out together without you doing the summer. They leave me out of things so so much and have these ‘inside jokes’ that make you feel horrible cause you don’t know about them. Also they did/do things like grafiti and pretend to be drunk and when i don’t want to do those things, they have the nerve to call me chicken and ames like that behind my back. I want to move groups but at school they are really nice to me, its only when they don’t invite me to things or start acting stupid is when i feel upset. The other day i didn’t have any food, and when i said ‘does anyone have any leftovers?’ they said stop being a scab. Anyways i wont bore with my list of other problems which include my sister and family, but what should i do? Stay with my group or move?