Hello ladies, let me share with you a little bit about Precious In His Sight. Growing up as the fourth of five children, I always felt like the odd one in the pack. To me, it always seemed as though there was something special about each one of my siblings, but nothing special about me. Even though I grew up with my father in the home with us, I did not have a daddy/daughter relationship with him, and actually, I still don‘t. This is so important to a young girl because that relationship is what makes her into a confident young woman.

The lack of a daddy/daughter relationship infected me with a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. Because of this infection, I turned to superficial things and people to fill the void where esteem and confidence should have been. I have come to learn that this void I felt could only be filled by One Person, God Almighty. At the time, I did not know of God in that way. I knew Who God was and I believed that He existed, but I had not yet asked Him to pardon my sins. So I continued sinning, fornication being my choice of transgression. It took a few unhealthy and meaningless relationships to show me that my void could not be filled by man or things.

As a teenager, I befriended a young lady who would try to talk to me about Jesus, but I just was not interested. I felt as though I would have to give up all the things that were making my flesh feel good in order to get to know this Jesus. I did not want to hang out at a church because it seemed boring and the young people acted like hypocrites—clubbing on Saturday night and singing in the choir on a Sunday morning! Wow, where is the relationship there?! Even back then, before I was saved, I felt as though a person who was going to church should not be in the club the night before. I just felt that kind of behavior was totally hypocritical!

I went to church because I had to, and it was just a thing that we did. Sort of like a tradition. No relationship there!! So I did not get the proper grooming from the church, or even from home, on how to not be so free with myself and how to be pure.

It took me many years, salvation and a relationship with Jesus, to know that I do belong and I am loved.

I’ve found that Satan would use any type of circumstance to make you feel as though no one really loves you. I allowed Satan, for many years, to make me feel as though I wasn’t special, I didn’t matter, and I just didn’t belong. He made me feel as though my existence didn’t really matter to this world.

I yearned for love in many different ways, and got it but never felt fulfilled by it. The love that I was receiving was brought on by those who expected something other than true love in return from me.

But God…
So wonderful is He!!
He made me realize that I did not have to put out to receive what I desired the most:
Unconditional and true love!
God’s love comes to us without us having to give Him anything.
God loves you no matter what state you are in. It took me a while to truly believe that.

I was not raised saying “I love you,” so this is still something that I struggle with, even after having three children and being married for over sixteen years. And even now when someone says that they love me, in the back of my mind, I wonder “why”…still something I’m working on. Yet, through the love that God has for me and I for Him, I will get better, because deep within myself I know that I am loved by Him, and I am Precious In His Sight!!

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