All I Want To Do Is Stop Hating Her!
Anonymous writes…
I don’t want to hate her but I do. I never thought that I would feel this way about anyone in my life. I know that I shouldn’t, but when he says her name I get mad or when she calls him I scream. When she looked me in the eye and said I have nothing going on with him, but then to her friends she says she loves him. It hurt because I thought I can trust her as a friend but now I really don’t care. Well at least I think I don’t. Should I? She is always there. Always trying to mess things up. I don’t wanna hate her becuz I know that God woulhdn’t like it, but I can’t seem to control how I feel. And it’s hurting me. I’m trying to pray about it but I just always give up and cry. I’m just tired of hating. Tired of lies. Tired of crying. Tired of HER! But I guess it’s just me. All I wanna do is stop hating her. But just having to put up wit her.
Free In Christ replies…
Dear Friend,
I can’t tell you how much it hurts to hear the anguish in your comment. I understand that you are feeling betrayed by this friend who might not necessarily be telling you the truth. If you consider that your friendship with this girl is not really based on truth and trust perhaps you do need to separate yourself from her.
I gather there is a boy in the middle of all this. I want you to please consider that no matter how much this girl might be getting in the middle, it’s also up to the guy to make sure your feelings are protected. Perhaps you need consider if the relationship with him is truly based on principles that could withstand situations like the one you are in with this friend (Matt 7:24-25).
Now, you ask if you should care and I say yes! you should care about what God thinks, what your heart can handle and the choices you can make about those you hang out with. Certainly you don’t want to harbor unforgiveness in your heart so try to ask God to help you remove yourself from this situation if it’s nothing but harmful for you.
Ask Him to help you forgive the girl whose actions are hurting you but ask for strength to remove yourself from any toxic relationships as well. Friendships are truly a place to build and support but not everyone understands them to be this.
As hurt as you are right now, I recommend that you draw near to God because He has promised to draw near to you (James 4:8) and HE will comfort you (2 Cor 1:3). God can be trusted specially when we just don’t understand what is really going on. (Prv 3:5-6). I will keep you in my prayers and trust that you will find comfort and healing in the Lord.
thinking of you,
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