Confused With Many Questions…
Confused writes back…
Hi!!
Well first of all thank you!
Secolndly,i have a problem with being cheerful towards certain people.I know im supposed to be but its like when im around them i feel this hot anger rising up and i dont want to talk or smile.Sometimes i want to hit them.I hate that i feel that waay because i know its wrong but they can just be so annoying it is unbelievable!I want to be cheerful and happy and loving allll the time but i dont know how.I pray and then its like ‘okay when is it gonna come?’
Thirdly,are christians supposed to have a lot of friends,or are they supposed to be set apart and different.Spmetimes it really confuses me,like when i hear someone swer=aring or something else that bad and im like uh uh i definetly should NOT be their friend.But recently this one girl and i were talking and she thinks that am a snob and uptight(uptight because i dont like people touching me and calling me names).I told her that i just dont want to get to close to people in my class because i think they are all bad influences and mean people.I want to be the light of the world but sometimes people will just be talking and ill be like”what kind of people am i surrounded with?’I know i am not perfect but i try to be more like Jesus.
Fourthly, i have recently began to have thought when ill be doing something,and it will be telling to go and do something.Like i would be walking around and i would see someone looking sad.I would walk past,but then the voice would make me go back and saay are you ok?i mean that’s not bad,but its like its always there,and i always feel like im doing something im not supposed to or not doing something i AM supposed to do.Its really bugging me cuz i dont know what it is.
Fifthly,i always have questions on how am suposed to live, and then i get them answered and another question pops up in my head.Sometimes i think what is wrong with me?Why cant i just live right all the time?
anyway thank you and God bless!
Trophy of Grace replies…
Hello sister..I’m Trophy of Grace in for Beloved By Him.
You’re welcome sister! We are here to serve and help you. I pray that our Heavenly Father would give me the Words to speak to you right where you’re at.
Regarding your first concern…Sister the truth is that no one is cheerful and happy all the time. Life happens and for everything there is a season; a time to cry, a time to dance, a time to die, a time to laugh..Take a moment and read Ecclesiates 3.
About being around these annoying people that just make you feel angry and are annoying. Well I think that we all have those type of people around us. I like to call them ‘Sand Paper People’. I believe our Lord uses them to refine us. I believe that when we are around them that they bring out the ugly in us so that we can see some areas in our own lives that we need to bring to the feet of Jesus. The anger and hate that is rising up in your is not part of the new person you are in Christ Jesus. You have to acknowledge these feelings, like you’re doing now, confess them as sin, and ask the Lord to change your heart towards these people. Beginning praying for them daily. Your praying and interceding for them will change your heart. It will help be more understanding and compassionate towards them. Make allowances for their faults sister, no one is perfect.
Here are some postings that I have written that I think will be able to help..
As far as should Christians have a lot of friends? Well…I think often times we will have a lot of people that we are associated with because we are in ministry together, go to the same church, studies, etc. But those choice closest friends I believe should be stronger believers that are constantly trying to live apart from the world. A couple of months we did some teaching on friendships. Take a moment and review some of the postings. Follow this link..
Friendships- The Heart of the Matter
Now regarding being led to talk to someone or ask them if if they are ok…I believe that this is the Holy Spirit working through you. He wants to use us to minister the hurt, the lost, and the lonely. He wants to use us to encourage and edify the church. We are His conduits of love. When He leads you to speak to someone ask Him to give you His Words to speak and not your own. Ask Him to give you boldness, love, and compassion to help them and meet them right where they’re at in their faith. Ask for wisdom, discernment, and understanding. He will use you more and more as you keep surrendering to Him in obedience to His leading. Keep listening to His voice. Keep reaching out!
Your last concern about living right. The more you draw close to Him in His Word the more He will reveal to you how to live a holy and pure life. Your desires will change. Your mind will be renewed and you will be transformed every day more and more into the image of Christ. No one will be perfect while they are here in this sinful world and living in our sinful flesh, but we ARE empowered by God to do what is pleasing to Him. We ARE empowered by Him to fulfill His will in this earth and in our lives. (Philippians 2:13) Don’t get frusturated. If you are meditating on the Word daily and seeking His face you are on the right path. Remember that the Holy Spirit does not condemn us…He gently convicts us of our sin and leads us down the path of righteousness. So trust that our God who started a good work within you, WILL continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6)
Here is one last article that I wrote when I received a revelation on Philippians 1:6. I hope it ministers to you..It’s called ‘The Prefection and Renewal Process’
You are in my prayers sister.
Stay on the narrow road!
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Before I go on to answer this post, I must mention something important. Eating hot chocolate with a spoon straight out of the tin sounds lovely to me - I’m a confessed chocoholic though!
Well, dear heart, back to being serious here. I know what you are saying because I was just like that at one time. Self-recrimination over every little thing that I did. Over analyzing everything. Making sure that everything I did was right in God’s eyes. If I hung out with the wrong people I was afraid that it would ruin me. I snubbed people who did not walk the way I did.
My answer is quite long so print it off if you need time to read it and study it. God is leading me in this answer and there is a lot to say about all this!
What first struck me after reading your post and the original post is the word legalism.
This is what dictionary.com has to say about legalism:
a. the doctrine that salvation is gained through good works.
b. the judging of conduct in terms of adherence to precise laws.
You are living on works and judging each action (and person). You are judging everything you do and everything other people do. You are living in judgment.
That is not God’s Way.
We are not commanded to walk in condemnation and yet that is what I hear you say. You are continually condemning yourself and others.
Condemnation means to pronounce guilty and indicate strong disapproval of yourself and your actions, and other people and their actions.
Do you belong to Christ? Then you are free! No longer held by laws. Jesus paid for all of the disobedience to the laws on the cross.
NOW you must keep reading because the following is the most important part. If you stop reading here then you are living wrong. Living correctly is not about rules, regulations and laws. Nor does it mean to live however you want without thought of how you are behaving.
This all sounds confusing so let me break it down:
It’s not what you do, it’s how you live.
And how are we supposed to live? In love. That’s what living in this world is about. That is our calling in life - to love. Simple. Don’t complicate it with rules and regulations on what you and others should do. Jesus said many times:
John 13:34 I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another.
John 13:35 By this shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, if you love one another [if you keep on showing love among yourselves].
John 15:12 This is My commandment: that you love one another [just] as I have loved you.
John 15:17 This is what I command you: that you love one another.
Dear sister, it’s about loving God, yourself and others. Listen to what I consider one of the most important phrases that Jesus said:
Because this is the most important lesson I have ever learned, I want to show this to you step by step:
1. Love God
Once you truly love God and spend some good quality time with Him, everything else falls into place. Why? Because we, as broken human beings, are incapable of loving others as He loves us. Right?
I have found that the more time I spend with God in true fellowship, the more I relax in life and just simply love others - even in their worst faults. And the more I allow myself to be human.
How do you spend quality time with God? By performing ACTS:
A: Adore God. Tell Him each day how wonderful He is. Recount all of His works. If you have trouble at first, just go to Psalms and highlight everything that talks about how amazing our God is, then repeat it out loud to Him. You will begin to see the big picture. God is in control. God is bigger than all of us. God is greater than this life. His Purpose will come to pass.
C: Confess. Why confess? Because when we confess we are saying we are in agreement with God that we have not acted out of love. It just keeps us grounded. Humbled. I don’t spend all morning telling God of every little thing I think I did wrong. I tell Him the serious stuff like, “Ooh, God! Yesterday I lied. I’m so sorry that I acted as a liar. Will you forgive me?” or “Yesterday I showed a lot of pride when I snubbed that friend of mine.”
Then, since I’ve done my part in confession, He is just to do His part. He forgives. He remembers my sin no more. (Psalm 103:12, Isaiah 43:25, Jeremiah 31:34, Hebrews 8:12, Hebrews 10:17)
I now walk as a forgiven person. I tell God that my day is a clean slate that He can write on and I remember my sin no more because I am forgiven. I also tell myself that I am not a liar or proud or whatever. I have repented and my Father is making me a better person. Hallelujah! But it will be a life long process and He loves me beyond compare. So I’m not going to stress and obsess. I will let Him do the work in me as I spend time with Him.
This actually works!!
T: Thanksgiving. I thank God for everything I can think of. Know what happens then? I see how truly blessed I am. I have a great husband, healthy children who walk with the Lord, a home, health, clothes, food, a car, a guitar, dishes to eat off of, a dishwasher, etc. You get my meaning. We are so rich compared to how most of the other people in this world live. All of a sudden I find myself worshiping God with tears of joy because I see how many good gifts he has blessed me with! (James 1:17) Then I find myself praising Him again.
S: Supplication. I ask God to heal those I know are sick. I ask for Favor for a friend in need. I ask God for help. I ask Him to help me love others with His love. I ask for Him to bless those who are hurting me or are lost.
See sister? I once was lost and totally broken. I walked in anger and hate. I cussed, I drank, I did lots of bad things. But He rescued me and I now walk forgiven. So I pray that God will show others the way to walking free. I pray for those who hurt me and who persecute me.
And then I make sure that I spend some quality time in the scripture with God. I ask Him to reveal what He is trying to teach me. My mind becomes renewed (Romans 12:2) and I think different, I walk different and I live different. I live each day trying to remember that Jesus is walking right next to me, so I talk to Him all day long.
Please make sure that your spending time with God doesn’t become a task list or a set of rules to make it happen. What I wrote above is just a guideline. Jesus gave a powerful way to pray in the Lord’s Prayer. Just make sure you are praising and worshiping our Creator and Father. Pour out your soul to Him and let Him pour in to you with His Holy Spirit.
2. Love Others
Because I once was lost, who am I to judge others who are lost? Those who walk with anger, or who cuss, or who do drugs, or who hurt others is because they themselves were most likely hurt when they were children. They are broken because they suffer inside. I feel pity and sorrow for those who walk like that.
Jesus said we are to be a light (Matthew 5:13-16). If we are the light, how can we show His light if we don’t hang out with those who need that light? By not talking to those who cuss, we are not walking in love. I’m not talking about being best friends because Paul warns us about that in:
But don’t take that so far that you have no interraction with others who don’t walk like you. How can you be an example if you are not with them? How can they see that you live with light and then ask you what it is that you have? It opens the door to leading them to Christ.
My 21 yo son is part of a college debate team and they travel around the country debating other college teams. His group is very worldly. Jared just shows them love. He stays strong and doesn’t cuss. He doesn’t drink or listen to bad jokes. He doesn’t smoke. But he loves them all. If they need prayer, he is there. He talks to them, laughs with them, and talks about Jesus. They all love him tremendously and they respect him. His teammates will usually not cuss around him because they know it offends him. Little by little, as he loves and befriends them, they start to see Jesus and he has been able to lead a couple of them to salvation. Praise God!
Could he have done that if he had kept himself apart from them? No!
He doesn’t hang out with them after school, but he does invite them to church, youth and the Christian group at college.
He doesn’t judge them. He knows they are broken and lost. He just loves on them and jokes around with them and they come to love him. Why? Because Jared demonstrates the love of God. And Jared does his part by dropping comments about Jesus in when the Spirit prompts him. He doesn’t judge them because he knows they are just lost little lambs looking for something in the world to satisfy that God-shaped hole in their hearts. Jared spends a lot of time with God. Jared also used to have autistic tendencies. See what God does?
Ask God to help you love others. Can you completely love them all? NOPE! I can’t either. I know that my love is somewhat faulty and I accept that as part of being human. There are some that I just love from afar because our personalities do not mix. I pray for them a lot! That helps me to love them more. And if they need help, I am there! I also pray that God helps me to love them.
3. Love Yourself
Yep! I include that, too. How can you love others if you don’t love yourself? Quit picking on you!
You are not perfect… and that is okay.
You will never be perfect… and that is okay.
God understands and still loves you fiercely. Just keep yourself open to His leading and guidance and you will be refined like silver (Psalm 66:10).
See yourself as God sees you. My brother once said, “Notice that He (God) called you a good work! Not a bad work getting fixed but a good work being completed. So often we judge ourselves like we would judge a car on the assembly line – a mess! But God sees the Mercedes-Benz that is coming off the production line – a good work seen by His eyes from the start to the end.”
You are a good work in progress!!
Just relax, beloved. Don’t be so hard on yourself and on others. We are ALL a work in progress. None of us are perfect. If you need help changing something in yourself, then ask God to help you. One at a time. Don’t dump the whole lot on His lap and say fix this right now. Choose one thing and then prayerfully work with God for a whole month (or two) on that item. Even longer if it is needed. You have time - a whole lifetime of it!
Just recently, my family and I decided we needed more self-discipline. We prayed about it and started doing some research and applying what we learned. Every morning I ask God to help me become more self-disciplined. Every day He helps me and reminds me. Sometimes I fail, and it’s okay. My God is gently picking me up and saying, “It’s okay, honey. You tripped but we are still moving forward. Look how far you’ve come! It just gets better and better.” He kisses what hurts better and I move forward. Result?
I have more self-discipline today than I did last month! Next year I’ll have even more!
When the little things start popping in your head such as you left the dishes in the sink, tell yourself it’s okay. There is an accuser up in heaven who is telling God how horrible you are (Revelation 12:10). However, there is a defender Who has God’s ear and is telling the Father that it has all been paid for. Not guilty!
So rebuke that accuser. Everything has been paid for. Don’t make it about works - just spend time with God. Spend good, quality time with Him every day and develop an awesome love relationship with Him. The rest will follow.
I hope that this has been an encouraging answer for you. I pray that God will change your heart and fill you with love for Him. I pray His love is poured out in your soul so that it overflows to others. If you still have further questions, feel free to write back.
Hugs, dear sister!
P.S. I always tell people that I am very close to perfect…
Jesus is perfect and I’m very close to Him!
Wow!This sounds exactly like what i am going through!I feel like i am being convicted of doing something ALL the time(like literally) for even the simplest of things.For example,i will be getting snack fever so i go the kitchen.I love to get a spoon and eat hot chocolate out of the tin.When i do this,or i am about to,i feel like i am commiting the biggest sin in the world,and i feel so guilty!Why is this?Or like if there are dishes in the sink at night and i don’t wash them before i go to bed,i feel horrible.These are just some scenarios.There are tons more where i feel like the weight of the world is upon me.I strongly dislike it and i don’t know what to!And also,i can definately relate to the confusion about the who you are supposed to converse with situation.I find myself thinking about that a lot.Anyway,thanks for your help!