Sj comments on the posting, ‘Are You Dating For Jesus?’

Dearest Deborah Ross,

First of all i would like to thank you for this article.
It is so true. And i can testify to that! Right now i am in a bad bad situation learing it the hard way, paying for my sin to be unequally yoked. You said;

”Remember, dating someone that you have no intentions of marrying is only wasting valuable time. It’s risky - in that, you are taking the chance of falling in love with someone who is not in God’s Will for your life.”

But…what if i alreay have fallen in love?

I was getting to know this guy right after i was born again, but because it was right after i was saved, i was unaware of what my place was as a Christian girl. I was 18 and now im 23. AND in a situation where it has gone already too far.

Pls help if you read this.

God bless you even more,

Many thanks, SJ

Deborah Ross replies…

Dear SJ:

I am not sure what you meant by “gone too far already.” So, in an effort to give you some comforting advice, I’ll share several scenarios.

#1 - Been Dating for 5 Years - No Sex - No Children (Or, just no children)

Talk with your boyfriend about the Lord. If he is not interested in seeking to know more about Jesus, tell him that you need some time alone to pray about your relationship with him. During this time, pray for your boyfriend to become a born-again believer… but don’t date each other. You might consider inviting him to church services ONLY. If he still refuses to explore the things of God, you are better off to end the relationship NOW. Remember, once married, things will only get worse, as the spiritual warfare between the two of you increases with time. When two people who are unequally yoked marry, it only sets the Christian up for a long road of heartache.

God will give you the strength to end this relationship if you truly desire to seek God’s best for your life. You’ll need to find contentment in “being single” for a season, until the Lord brings your future husband in your path.

If you’ve been in a sexual relationship with your boyfriend, even though the two of you are not married, you’ll need to pray fervently for all “soul ties” to be broken with him. When you sin sexually, you sin against your own body and mind. Repent of your sins and ask the Lord to clean you up. Then, make a covenant with the Lord that you will not engage in sexual activity again until married.

Remember, when you get serious with God, He gets serious with you. If you want to experience God’s blessings for your future husband and family, you must do things His way.

PS - No matter what… cut off all sexual intercourse RIGHT NOW. Your boyfriend won’t like it, but it will wake him up to the fact that you place your relationship with God above all else. If your relationship with him is meant to be, God will work out the details. If not, let him go. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and is not meant to engage in sexual sin.

#2 - Been Dating for 5 Years - Have a Child Together out of Wedlock

If a child has been born out of wedlock with this man, you need to consider the child, first. It is usually better for a child to grow up with its “real” mom and dad - even in not so good situations - than to live a life torn between the two with visitation days. This will be a sacrificial life-long journey FOR YOU as you lay your life down for the sake of your child. There will be many heartaches along the way, BUT, it is possible that you eventually win your husband over to Christ as the years pass. Plus, you will know that you did the right thing for the sake of your child.

Hope this helps!

Deborah Ross
http://www.DeborahRossMinistries.org

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