Two More Days Left To Enter The Give Away Contest!!

Here’s another one of April’s Giveaway Contest submissions

Written by Olicia:

I recently watched a video that convicted the mess out of me! 1 min and 21 sec into the video and I was just like “I have to let it go”. You see, when I was water baptized I had to give a testimony as to what Christ had done for me. It was a really emotional testimony but it didn’t go into the core of my struggles because I felt that it was no one’s business but my own and on top of that I was ashamed and scared of what others would think. It’s like I forgot that Christ died so I wouldn’t have to be ashamed. So here is a poem/journal entry that REALLY goes into detail and I pray that it will be a blessing to you.

I always say “Lord I give you all the glory and praise!” But am I really…when I keep all that you’ve done for me only to me? I was hiding all my struggles but if it wasn’t for you I would still be under all that sinful rubble. You see, from a young age I never truly loved myself, always comparing myself to others. Low self esteem and the kids in school were so mean. One even said in middle school that I looked like somebody’s mama. Imagine my trauma. Hearing things like that does something to your spirit. It rips and tears it into a million pieces. So I didn’t feel good about myself, didn’t feel loved. I felt like a baby that never experienced a hug. I went to church but cuz I had to but didn’t really understand the love of Jesus Christ. So I filled the void in my soul with lusts of the flesh. I didn’t know at the time that the door I opened at the age of 12 would be the hardest to close. It all started with masturbation then pornography then that escalated to fornication and cyber sex with a dude I never met at the ripe age of 16. You see, lust was my friend, so I thought. Cuz when I got my first feel of a man I became an addict. I just had to have it. I can count on one hand how many guys I played around with it didn’t matter the number I just had to have it. I couldn’t tell you how many times I thought I was pregnant, but by the grace of God the tests always came back negative. Lust is dangerous because it only focuses on self, I want to feel this and I want to watch that. I can now understand my fam’s shock. I kept this under a double padlock and key.

But a day came when the Lord set me free! I no longer wanted to live for me. All the stuff I was doing never permenantly gave me what I needed so desperately, love. All I wanted was someone to talk to when the kids at school made fun of me, someone to run to when I didn’t feel pretty. Just someone to say you’re beautiful no matter what anyone else has to say. Someone to say I love you in each and every way.

I met a man named Jesus one day. I was invited to see this play(Heavens Gates, Hells Flames)
After seeing how He died for me to set me free from all my sins and all that I held within how could I not run to Him! I surrendered my life to Him that day and I’ve never been the same! I can now honesty say now, ” Lord I give you all the glory and praise!”Because I’m giving full account of how you brought me from ground zero. You brought me from one of the deadliest of seven sins.

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How has God revealed Himself to you? How has He shown Himself powerful in your circumstances? Share your story, and glorify God!

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