Do You Think It’s Okay For Me To Kiss My Boyfriend?
Anonymous writes…
Hi! I have been thinking about this for quite a while now, and I would like some advice from someone more mature than me… Do you think it’s okay for me to kiss my boyfriend? (I am 19 and he is 21, and we are very serious-as in neither of us doubts we will get married when we’re done with school and live in the same country again).
Free In Christ replies…
Dear sister,
I want to commend you for seeking out advice because this is the trait of someone who is showing humility and trusting that God will guard and guide you in many different ways. The Word does tell us that there is wisdom in the counsel of many (Prov 15:22).
Should you kiss your boyfriend at this point? I gather from your request that there will be a time of separation between the two of you for school. How long have you been dating and how long will you be apart? These are definitely facts to consider while making a decision.
I must say that I have been around couples who have taken different routes in this regard. Some have opted for not kissing at all until the day of their wedding. Their goal was to honor God with every detail of their lives. Their reasoning was that they did not really know how events would turn out though they knew they wanted with everything to get married.
It was difficult for me to imagine such a huge commitment but I later saw this to be such a wise thing to do because while we might be extremely sure of what we desire only God truly knows what lies ahead. I must confess this is not the route that I took with my husband, yet looking back I can definitely see that they were much more cautious and sacrificial than we were.
Then I had other friends who set such strong boundaries when dating that they protected themselves from falling into sexual sin. They did opt for kissing but always at the door when she was being dropped off and never alone in order to prevent emotions and passions for rising up beyond one’s self control.
Anyone who has courted in a godly way will tell you how extremely difficult it is to try and hone in something you have already awaken (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4).
Once again, I know that we can tend to trust ourselves and say, “This is the guy I am going to marry anyway”. But I really think that we are better off just recognizing we won’t know for sure until we are standing at the altar saying “I do”.
I can’t tell you the amount of times I have seen people change their minds and regret having shared any intimacy which should have been reserved for that one special guy.
Will it be sin if you kiss your boyfriend? I don’t think so, but can it lead you into sin for sure.
Please make sure to set healthy boundaries alongside godly accountability in order to ultimately honor your Father in heaven. I am certain there are great materials you can seek out.
I wish you and your boyfriend the best. Stay close to God and his people which will be a safe ground for your love to grow.
In HIM,
admin also adds
Here’s another Q & A that may also help you in your searching. Please take a moment and read it. It also refers to more postings that may minister to your heart.
This postings is called, “How Do I Define A Line And Not Cross It?”
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