I Don’t Want to Be Rude But I Imagine it Would Be Kind of Awkward
Anonymous writes,
Hi, I have a small issue. In one of my classes at grad school, I met a guy and we became “friends.” And by that I mean we would greet each other and talk a little when we saw each other, and I was totally not interested in him in any other way. I noticed he started to hang around me more often, and because I wouldn’t want to lead him on, I stayed away from him but when I did see him around town I just said hi. I tried to ignore lengthy conversations, etc. but at the end of the semester, he gave me his number and said to call him. I really do not want to contact him in any way, so I know I could just forget about it, but I know he is moving to the same city as me later this year because we will be working @ companies near each other, and its very likely we could run into each other later on. What would be an appropriate way to respond if I see him? I don’t want to be rude but I imagine it would be kind of awkward to run into him, and I really don’t want to be friends with him, as he is a little strange. What to do?
Beloved by Him writes,
Dear Sister,
Instead of anticipating the negative, I would encourage you to believe the best. If God allows someone into our lives, it’s always for a purpose. Maybe we can meet a need in someone’s life, maybe they can meet a need in ours, or maybe it’s just so we can be refined, but there are no coincidences—God knows what He’s doing. Trust Him as you walk out His plan for your life.
It sounds like you were very considerate of not leading this person on or being false with him—that’s good. I can also see where it would be awkward for you to have a man give you his number and ask you to call him, since it might not be clear if he is seeking a closer friendship or maybe even something more. If this were to happen again, maybe you could politely decline to take it, letting him know you would be uncomfortable calling him. Better to be honest up front then to give the pretense that you might call.
If you do happen to run into him again, you still need to be kind and show Him the pure love of Christ—one that has a sincere interest in his well-being. If both of you are Christians, then you can think of him as a brother in Christ. I’ve actually gotten in the habit of referring to other Christians I interact with as “brother” and “sister.” This sets a boundary as a reminder that we’re one spirit in Christ, and we need to treat each other as such (Gal. 3:28).
If he’s not a Christian, maybe you could encourage him to visit your church sometime. Talk about any service or fellowship you’ve been involved in lately, and let him know about any opportunities there might be where he could pitch in and meet other Christian guys, and especially hear the gospel. The idea is to let him see what you are really about (Jesus) and where your priorities are. One of two things will probably happen: he’ll either move in a direction closer to the Lord, or he’ll lose interest.
Usually it’s us Christians who are the ones people think of as “strange.” With that in mind, maybe you could pray and ask the Lord to give you a new perspective on this person. Maybe you just need to be praying for more grace and acceptance for people who are different from you. I know I need more practice in being truly sincere, in dying to myself, and for wisdom to see people for who they are to the Lord more than what they might seem to be on the outside. Remember that God favors no man, and that He died for each one of us. Here’s a great scripture to keep in mind, from I John 2:9-11,
“He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now. He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”
Let’s pray for eyes full of the light of the Holy Spirit so that we can have wisdom to see things for what they really are, and for the strength to do God’s will with joy.
Sincerely,
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