I Cover Up My Face To Avoid People From Seeing It
Anonymous writes…
I need help. My skin is something that has been bothering me for a long time. I just don’t like it. I have acne here and there and uneveness and its gotten to the point that last year in school and even now I cover up my face to avoid people from seeing it. I have really low self esteem issues which turn into anger around those that I love. I’ve expressed this to my family and we went to the doctor on Thursday to get acne medicine. And just now they got me moisturizer and cleanser and I just got angry at them and Im not sure why. Im just mad at myself so much and feel like I don’t deserve anything right now. It makes my self esteem so much worse because I act like a jerk around people and especially the people who try to help me and I love most, my family. I just am tired of carrying this weight around with me everywhere I go, I just want to be free.
Heart of Worship replies…
Hello sister,
Thank you for your question! Your message spoke directly to my heart, and I share your struggle, sweet friend. I could have written the letter you emailed in because I, too, have struggled with acne for years and have been teased mercilessly because of it. First, I want you to know that you are worth far more to God that you can ever imagine. Psalm 139:14 says that you are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. God designed every detail of you before you were even born. Why then, did he design us with what we perceive as flaws? I don’t know the answer to that, but I do know that everything that God does is for a purpose. We may not understand it all now, but we just have to trust Him who knows all things. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
I think that especially as women, we feel pressure to look beautiful in our physical appearance. However, we need to be sure that rather than focusing on our outward appearance, we care more about the condition of our hearts. I love 1 Samuel 16:7 which says “the Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Peter 3:4 speaks of “the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” It is so easy to become focused on our physical ‘flaws’ and to become discouraged. I encourage you to take these times of discouragement to run to God and pray that He will open your eyes to see the beauty that you are! Your value to God is immeasurable! He sent His only Son to die for your sins and for mine.
I share your pain, sweet sister, in the discouragement that you feel and the feelings you are having of anger, embarrassment, and confusion. I know that in your heart you are grateful to your family, and it is easy to let the frustration you feel in regards to your skin manifest itself as anger or bad behavior toward your family. I encourage you to seek their forgiveness if this happens and seek their prayer support. You are not alone! So many people believe the lies of Satan that they are worthless because of various aspects of their physical appearance. Please do not believe Satan’s lies. We find our worth and our strength in God alone. As the psalmist said in Psalm 16:2, “I said to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing’”. It sounds like your family is taking steps, such as the doctor’s visit, to remedy the situation you are facing. This is very encouraging that you have such great support! Please be sure to let them know how grateful you are for them. I know that they love you very much and will understand the pain you are facing.
1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all of our worries on God because he cares for you. Please take time to share with Him your pain and fears and to trust Him to use this time of trial as a testimony of his grace and strength. God can use you in a mighty way for Him! Proverbs 31:30 says “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
I will be praying for you and want to pray for you now.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for my sister who wrote in today. Thank you that even though we have never met, you have caused our paths to cross and connect in our struggles. I pray that you would open her eyes to the way you see her. Lord, I pray that she would know her value in You and that You would give her strength and encouragement. Please show her other people that may also be struggling with feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem so that she can be used to minister to their needs to Your glory. Thank you for seeing our beauty from within and please remind us of our worth in You. We will praise You for the powerful ways you will work in her life and look forward to hearing of the wonderful ways you will use her life as a testimony that Your grace is sufficient in our weaknesses.
In the name of Jesus we ask these things,
Amen
I also read a book recently that really helped me. It is called “So Long, Insecurity” by Beth Moore. I encourage you to read it if you have a chance because it is a wonderful book.
In His precious, unfailing love,
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So I got the book on Friday and read it over the weekend and finished it today (since I stayed home from school). It really opened my eyes to how God can help you with your insecurity, and how most of America these days seem to be insecure, even the ones you don’t expect to be. It had really good Bible verses as well like Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed in strength and dignity”, which is one that keeps running through my head. I’ve realized that God wants us to claim our dignity that He made us to have and He does want us to be secure in ourselves. Often times I would think that by not having trust in myself I was somehow putting that trust in God instead and that I was just being humble and obedient instead of denying myself the right to love myself and carry dignity within me. And even though I know Im not instantly healed from my insecurity, I know that Im on my way to overcoming it with God. Its something that I need to work on by changing my state of mind and the words that feed through my head during the day to ones that are edifying are helpful and not destructive to me. I just want to thank you so much again for giving me the book and I thank you for all your kindness and wisdom that you’ve been sharing with me.