Remember His Sacrifice Every Day
April 6, 2015 – 8:00 am | 2 Comments

Written by Trophy of Grace
“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though …

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Home » Answered By Trophy of Grace, Baby mama/Baby daddy drama, Hot Topics, Recent Questions & Answers

Baby Mama Drama

Submitted by on October 3, 2008 – 8:18 pm17 Comments


I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We are both Christians and recently made the decision to be obedient to God and to keep in His word daily. I love the fact that we are growing together and encouraging each other when times get tough.

My boyfriend has a three year old son that we pick-up on the weekends and I love him to death. When it’s us three we have a great time together. The only thing is I feel that my boyfriend is trying to keep me away from his son’s family. He doesn’t like to tell me when he talks to his son’s mother and seems to make calls over there secretly to keep me from finding out.

I want him to be a good father and to be in his sons life as much as possible but I have had a bad first impression of his son’s mother in the beginning of our relationship because she tried to break us up and would tell me lies about them getting back together to chase me away. There isn’t any contact between his mother and I now but I feel like I am left out of the family, I know I can’t take his mothers place but sometimes I feel like a stranger when it comes down to what is going on.

My boyfriend says he wants to marry me and we both agree we need to draw closer to God first but I’m not sure I can be married to him if he can’t include me in his life with his son. I don’t know if I should just back off because I shouldn’t have a say on what’s going on or if I’m entitled to have some say. My boyfriend says I’m a good mother to his son but when it comes down to any decision making he makes me feel that I need to keep my mouth shut. I just know if I’m going to be his wife I don’t want to feel the way I do now. What do I do?


Surrendering your life daily to God is the best choice you can make… If you will read the bible daily, you will see that your mind and your desires will be renewed. Reading the Word and doing what the Word says is the secret to living a successful Christian life.

Now for the baby mama drama…

I know you said that she has done hurtful things in the past, so you probably don’t trust her. I understand completely. It also doesn’t help that he seems to be sneaking to talk to her even though it’s probably innocent. He might think that it bothers you that he talks to her. It’s important that he knows that you are secure with your relationship and you trust him. That way he won’t feel like he has to hide. He is always going to have a relationship with her no matter what. Accept it for what it is and start praying about the whole situation if you are going to even think about marrying him.

The bottom line is the one you have to trust is your man. For any relationship to function properly, there has to be trust. You have to trust your boyfriend loves you and is working daily to become the godly man that God wants Him to be. If you are confident in your relationship, it would not matter to you if he talks to his ex, because you know that he is your man and you trust him.

You have to pray about these feelings of insecurity and ask God to give you peace about the situation. If you love the child, then you will pursue peace in this situation for his sake. Don’t hold grudges against the ex. Let it go. Forgive her for the past mistakes she’s made. We’re all human and are subject to error. Have mercy on her and try to see things her way also. Pray for her. If you do this you will see that your feelings towards her will begin to change.

Matthew 5:44-48 says “But I say, love your enemies, Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

It may be best that you do not have contact with the ex for now. She may or may not want to have to interaction with you. In the event that you do have to interact with her, be patient and remember that you represent Christ. Always pursue peace!!

You are spending time with their child and she may have her guard up for several different reasons. She can be thinking any or all of the following: 1) Is she going to try to take my place. 2) What if my son calls her mommy. 3) What if she tries to take his dad away. 4) Will he still love and care for my son the way he does now when he gets married and has children with her.

There is a lot that could be going on in her mind. Not to mention that she may still have not gotten over the relationship with your boyfriend, the father of her child. The baby is only three. That is isn’t a very long time. So be patient and merciful.

Are you entitled to have some say? To the baby mama no. To your boyfriend, you should lovingly give him your advice and suggestions regarding the child. It is best not to make him feel caught in the middle between you and his ex. You may have to learn to step back sometimes and leave it between them.

My husband has two children from his previous marriage. I try not to get involved between his ex-wife and him. When I do talk to his ex-wife, I am very patient and I keep it very simple. They make decisions for their children and I support my husband. I don’t always agree; however, I do not over step my boundaries with her or him regarding his children. When his children visit us, they abide by our rules because this is our house. I love them and care for them just like they were my own.

After praying about this whole situation, you need to go to your boyfriend and let him know that it bothers you that he seems to feel that he needs to hide from you when he’s talking to his son’s mom. Reassure him that you trust him and that he does not need to sneak around.

Then leave it in God’s hands. Don’t worry and stress out about it. Remember that our Lord works everything out for our good. So let Him.

I will be praying for all of you.

God bless Sister,

Trophy of Grace


  • Aww, Clinging to Faith, you brought tears to my eyes! I’m so glad that God’s Word has touched you. He is so awesome and He takes such good care of us, doesn’t He?

    Blessings and a huge hug for you!!

  • Clinging to Faith says:

    Good Afternoon:

    Praise God for you Treasure Box. The God in you has spoken to the God in me. I was going through a rough week last week, but your words of encouragement have lifted my spirits. I praise God for you. I thought I stumbled on this website, but God sent me here. I needed a word and that is what you gave me. God is awesome and I want every part of my life to be consumed in the Word of God. How I live, how I treat others, my marriage, etc. I really appreciate you sharing with me. You are a blessing. I pray God continues to use you and bless you because you are walking in your annointing.

    Praise God for you! Thank you so much! You may never understand how you have changed my position on a lot of things. I had to get rid of some stink\’n think\’n as Joyce Meyer would say.

    God Bless You and may Heaven continue to smile upon you.

    Clinging to Faith

  • Dear Clinging to Faith,

    This one is a very difficult situation, my heart goes out to you!

    There are some obvious boundaries that are not being drawn here. Let me break this up into different points. You have three relationships going on.

    #1: Your Husband
    The first and most important relationship (after your relationship with God) is the one you have with your husband.

    It is obvious that you love your husband very much and that you enjoy your time with him.

    God tells us in Genesis 2:24 (Amplified Bible) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

    You and your husband are to cleave unto one another. It is a relationship that is separate from the relationship you have with his daughter’s mother and the one you have with his daughter. The fact that he married you and not his daughter’s mother says a lot about who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Especially after courting you for so long. He could have very easily married her during that three year period, but he chose you! Not her! And that is why she is behaving the way she is – in a very unhealthy manner!

    A man sees relationships very different than the way women do. I know a girl who says she had an intense relationship with her man for close to two years. His story is different however. He views it as a relationship for three months, and a meaningless fling for the rest. No emotional involvement. Your husband is most likely telling you the truth – he may never have been emotionally involved with her.

    So, how do you work on this relationship with your husband? You can begin by trusting him. He loves his daughter and has to have some communication with her mother in order to not lose that important part of him. When he picks up his daughter, he is not going to see the mother. He is going to pick up his daughter. Continue to tell yourself that and do not let the enemy throw suspicions in your mind. And when he picks her up, he is coming home to you – his wife, best friend and lover.

    To strengthen your relationship with him, go to some marriage seminars with him. Pick up the book His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley. This book is excellent for keeping a marriage strong. It is so important that you separate your relationship with him from all the other issues.

    #2: The Mother of His Daughter
    That is all that she is. She seems like a very angry, broken and hurt young lady who feels the need to lash out because you have what she never had. Your husband. Remember, he chose you! She may say that she has him for life, but she doesn’t. She will have communication with him until their daughter is 18. She has communication but not a relationship. They are not best friends, they do not share any intimacy with each other, they are not emotionally involved.

    On the other hand, you have all of him for the rest of your life. When his daughter turns 18, you still have him. Focus on those positives as you go through these years.

    Your relationship with her should be one of love. Hard to do – believe me! I’ve had to do it myself. How do you love her? You try to see it from her viewpoint. You have what she doesn’t. She is hurt and acts out with vengeance. This is not God’s way.

    Romans 12:19 (NIV) Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.

    Second, forgive her for these hurts. She is not emotionally healthy. Again, hard to do but most important for your spiritual health. Just say these words, “I forgive her for saying “…”, or doing “…” I sever that hurt and I release her from this action.” Remember, she is a hurt, lost and broken girl who is looking for relief in the wrong way. You may have to forgive her over and over again.

    Matthew 18:21-23 (NLT) 21 Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” 22 “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

    Third, pray for her. The power of prayer is amazing. It is a Supernatural weapon in this world. Pray for her salvation and for her healing. I have an ex-husband who is emotionally a mess and very destructive in his relationships – he has been like this all of his life. I have seen the power of God move in him and begin some tremendous healing through the power of prayer. He is losing some of these destructive behaviors. Praise God!

    Luke 6:27-28 (NLT) “But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.”

    It is balm for your soul when you pray for those who hurt you, sister!

    And as for her ugly emails to your friends and the stories she spreads, there is nothing that can be done about it. Especially since your husband has already spoken to her about it. Due to how unhealthy she is, she will not listen. But your friends know you and as time goes on, people are going to get tired of her complaining, negative attitude. As you stay positive, they will see the truth.

    When someone approaches you about this mess, just say “We are praying for her” and leave it at that. People are going to start seeing you as a strong, healthy woman who walks with God.

    #3: His Daughter
    Again, this is a totally separate relationship. It is healthier for her if she is not lumped into this whole mess. At two, she naturally loves all around her who are in her life. She hasn’t yet learned to hate. When she comes over, play with her, read books to her, give her some of your time, and love her as your best friend’s flesh and blood. You love your husband, she belong to him. You are free to love her.

    She is the innocent one who very well may have her mind poisoned in the future – so pray for her double hard! It is unfair for the innocent to be dragged into her mother’s drama. And God does not like this!

    Luke 17:2 (NLT) It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin.

    As you continue to be loving towards this little girl, and she sees a healthy, loving relationship between you and your husband, she will see the truth herself. She will feel the love and the positive atmosphere in your home and contrast that with the negative at her mother’s house. Kids are smart – they know. She will naturally gravitate towards you and your husband. A warning though, she may fall for her mother’s words for awhile, but the truth always comes out and she will see each player for who they really are.

    How do I know? My children had their minds poisoned against me by their father. I continued in love, prayerful forgiveness, and I NEVER spoke bad about their father. Within three years, they saw the truth and begged me to sue for custody. I did and I won.

    So, to recap: Strengthen your relationship with your husband – make him number one and happy to be home with you.Forgive and pray for the mother of his daughter – that is all she is to him. To the best of your ability, ignore her talk about you and walk knowing that you belong to God. He knows the truth and you are His Beloved.And love and pray for the daughter – develop a relationship with her so that she has a refuge from the storm. Try to see her as a little capsized boat who is trying to find a strong moor to be tied to.

    You have everything, dear sister! You have a husband who is your best friend, and you have little girl who needs a positive, loving role-model in her life. I know it’s rough and not fun to go through this, but as you walk with God, and continue to grow in Him, you will be the better person for it.

    God bless you with His Wisdom and Understanding in all of this; and may He strengthen you with His Strength!

    Philippians 4:13 (NLT) For I can do everything through Christ, Who gives me strength.

  • Clinging to Faith says:

    Good morning:

    I do not know where to start. I just got married in April 2010. My husband has a two-year old daughter. He has always been upfront with me. We actually went to school together, but went to different high schools and colleges. We got back together three years ago and he was honest with me and told me that he was expecting a child and that we could be just friends if I wanted. He would respect my wishes. We became friends at which time he told me that he never had a relationship with this young lady. It was just a fling. I knew the young lady from school as well. We never had any prior problems. When she found out we were friends she started calling him everytime we were together. Things got even worse when we decided to start a relationship. We became close and to this day, he is my best friend. The baby mama drama has only intensified. He has assured me that there was never anything between them, but she goes about talking about me to anyone who will listen about how I stole him from her and what a bad person I am. She even emails my friends about me. She use to text me constantly and then she would call me restricted all times of night and hang up. I have prayed for God to help me. I have discussed these things with him, but he seems like he just takes it because he does not want her to try and keep his daughter from seeing him, which she has tried before. She even pulled the little girl out of the wedding at the last minute because she said her mother got vision that I was trying to take over the child’s life. I feel so alone. Do I even matter? My heart aches when I see his daughter and she comes over. I love her, but I keep thinking about all the hurtful, hateful things her mother has done to me and continues to do. I cringe when he goes to pick his daughter up. On his days off, it’s like I go into guard mode because I know that he is going to pick his child up. She has told me repeatedly that her daughter does not need me, she does not care about me. And she tells anyone who will listen that I may be married to my husband, but she has him for life, and that she really knows what happened between the two of them. My husband was up front about everything when we got back together after high school and college and he insists that they never had a relationship or nothing like that. I wanna trust him, but I feel like I am alone. Like I am the odd man out. I have never done anything to this young lady. She spreads my name like wild fire. He has talked to her about it, but she just insists that it is my fault. Everyone is always talking about her rights as a mother, which I respect, but don’t I have rights as well. I am trying to be the bigger woman, but I honestly don’t know how much more I can take.

    Clinging to Faith

  • Sweet sister thank you! Your words were a blessing to me this morning. But glory has to be given to the Holy Spirit because it is His Word that has given us wisdom to be able to handle these real life situations. His Word has been my strength and that is what we share here on WeUsed2bu. I pray that the Lord will give you wisdom and direction (AND HE WILL) for your specific baby mama drama. My best suggestion to start standing in the gap for the baby mama..

    Be blessed sister,


    Lisa aka Trophy of Grace

  • Mrs. Kimg-to-be says:

    Dear Trophy of Grace:

    I came upon your website the other night after googling “scriptures for baby mama drama”. I must say that I have been tremendously blessed! I was simply seeking wisdom and came upon so many similar stories and like an epiphany realized that I am not the only woman in the world experiencing baby mama drama. The advice you offer is so professional, unbiased and unopinionated yet truthful while still down to earth. I have been literally taking notes and jotting down your scriptural references to review tonight with my fiance.

    Please continue to allow God to use you because as I have been blessed with your wisdom, I am sure that thousands of other woman will also be.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

    Mrs. King-To-Be

  • Dear Sleepless,

    I really do not think that you should ignore the feelings that you are having that are prompting you to question what is very obvious. You are finding text messages that clearly say that your boyfriend loves another woman. She is not just another woman though. She is his child’s mother. This is serious. It seems to me that if they are talking all hours of the night and then saying how much they still love each and always will that there is something still between them.

    You should most certainly address it with him, although I’m not sure that there is really that much to discuss. You have seen the text messages with your own eyes. It would be hard to deny. I suggest that you just remove yourself completely from the situation. I believe that his heart does not belong to you. I am not sure that it ever has or will.

    For your good and to avoid additional heartache, move on. Ask the Lord to help you have the strength and courage you need to allow Him to move you out of this situation. You see, if you will only learn to really trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding, then start acknowledging Him in everything that you do He will direct your path. He has a better relationship planned for you. You don’t have to settle for someone who is probably still on the rebound. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

    I know that what I am saying seems tough, but don’t you want a relationship with someone who you know has eyes for only you? This man says he will ALWAYS (that’s forever and ever) love her. You don’t want to have to compete with someone’s baby’s mama, especially so soon. The baby is only three years old. Be wise sister..the warnings signs are there. The Lord will not let you be deceived. He will always lead us into all truth. It’s up to you see it.

    Sister, don’t allow your heart or emotions to lead you. Allow God to be your Guide. I will be praying for you to have eyes to see His direction clearly. You are not alone..He has helped many others through situations like this.

    You are in my prayers..


    Trophy of Grace


    Here are some scriptures I hope will encourage your heart as you trust in Him.

    Psalm 32:8 “I [the Lord] will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.”

    Isaiah 30:21 “And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.”

    James 1:5-6 “If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.
    Only it must be in faith that he asks with no wavering (no hesitating, no doubting). For the one who wavers (hesitates, doubts) is like the billowing surge out at sea that is blown hither and thither and tossed by the wind.”

  • Sleepless in LB says:

    I have a similar situation. I just moved in with my man that I have been dating for a year but have known for 14 yrs and he has a 3 yr old little girl. He and his babymama are still cool because of the child but I think he is still very much in love with her. They text each other all hours of the night on almost a daily basis. He says in the text messages that he will always love her and she says the same to him. I just hope that he LOVES her because she is his childs mother…and is IN LOVE with me because he wants to build a future with me. He tells me over and over that she is the past and I am his future and that he loves me, but his actions (via text message) make me think and feel otherwise! Should I just keep my cool and not sweat the small stuff or should I address him about how I feel?????

    Sleepless in LB

  • Lisa C. aka Trophy of Grace says:

    Thanks..Glory be to God that you received the help and counsel you needed. That was by no means an accident. Our Lord meant you to come here and find help.

    You can come back anytime you want and with whatever drama you want and we will always be ready to help without judgement. We will always try to respond within 24 hours.

    We are off on Sundays..

    God bless you sister…Keep me posted on your progress..

  • Anonymous says:

    Hey! I wrote a message on your blog yesterday and i was stressin’ out real bad. I came upon your website by accident actually, and decided to give it a try. The advice I got was outstanding, and was sooooo on point. I needed advice from an impartial person. I appreciate you taking out time to reply to my concern.

    You don’t know how blessed I was by your honest, and biblical response. i thought it would at least be a few weeks before you even read my post…WOW!!!

    Well, Lisa, I’ll definitely be back..hopefully, with less drama next time ;-)

    Be Blessed,

  • Lisa C. aka Trophy of Grace says:

    This is a tough situation to be in. I’m sure that you are struggling with so many different emotions. The insecurity is most probably coming from the fact that all though you feel like he’s your husband the actual commitment and covenant (promise) has not been made before God yet. I think that there is reason for concern. Your concerns and insecurities will remain there until the day that you both commit to holy matrimony. Even then you will have to pray and ask God to help you both heal from your past experiences before the marriage.

    Many people do not realize that marriage is so special. When you make that covenant before God it makes you want to fight for the sake of your family. It gives you a sense of security in your relationship especially when you know that you have married the man that God has for you. Marriage is hard work but when you sow into your marriage seeds of love and determination you reap a wonderful harvest of blessings. These blessings are only bestowed on those couples who have determined to commit their relationship to God by marrying.

    If he’s saved and you know that your body is the temple of God, then I am assuming that you both are going to church. If not then that is the first place you both need to be. Going to church will give you both an environment where you can grow in your faith and have accountability, brothers and sisters in the Lord that will help in your walk with God. Besides going to church I hope that you are reading the bible daily so that your faith, trust, and love for the Lord will grow. Reading the Word gives us wisdom, direction, correction, comfort, and confirmation. It prepares us for every good work that God has for us. It is your manual for living life more abundantly.
    Prayerfully consider rededicating your life to the Lord.

    Go to your boyfriend and discuss with him openly and honestly your concerns and see where he stands on the marriage issue. You may consider seeking godly counsel together for your relationship. My husband and I enjoy talking to our pastor together. We appreciate and value his advice and counsel.

    Regarding the baby mama drama.. well..that is something that you both will have to pray about. You have not said what exactly you’re going through with the baby mama, but I suggest that you allow him to deal with her. I know that it may cause you feelings of jealousy or insecurity but she is the mother of his child. For the sake of the child you must pursue peace at all times. Don’t resent the child because the baby did not have a say as to when and to whom she was born. Both babies are here now and deserve to be cherished and treated with love. Ask God to give you a loving heart towards the child and an understanding heart towards the mother. I am sure this is not easy for her either. What woman plans on getting pregnant and then having the man that got her pregnant go back to the woman he loves. That must be hard too.

    There is nothing you can do to change what has happened. So there is no point in using negative emotions to deal with the situation. Jealousy, anger, wrath, arguing and fighting will not produce anything positive for any of you. Forgive all parties involved and move on from here trusting God to help you forgive daily and heal from the pain.

    It is time to stop doing things your own way and allow God to make all of your crooked paths straight. You have to trust in Him with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path. I promise that if you will seek Him with all of your heart that you will find Him and your life will be changed. You are a mother now and one day you will be a wife. If you want to be successful at both of these you will need God’s help and guidance. Humble yourself before Him and He will lift you back up. He does have a wonderful plan for your life. Plans to give you a future and a hope, but first you must submit your life to Him and His plan. Then He will give you the desires of your heart. You can never imagine the goods that He has planned for your family.

    Go and seek Him and you will find healing…

    God bless you sister.

    Come back any time we are here for you..


    Trophy of Grace

  • Anonymous says:

    Ok goes…My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years. Not being obedient, we had a daughter, now shes 7 mos. However, now we broke up for about one month, and he had a fling with another woman and she got pregnant as well. Our daughters are 6 weeks apart.

    I love him a lot, however, even though we were officially not together, I feel betrayed. Not to mention the conviction I feel for not keepin my temple holy. Any who..He’s a great father two both girls, and is really considerate of my feelings about the situation, He constantly apologizes. He’s saved, and I forgive him..but why do i feel so insecure? I believe he is my husband, however, I don’t want to deal wit’ the baby mama drama.

    I feel like I have a choice, take care of me and my daughter, or stick it out with my potential husband. I’ve prayed, and prayed and prayed…I don’t know what God wants me to do…what do you guys think?

  • Saved by Faith says:

    Everyday family life is difficult as it is and having family drama outside of the home can make it overwhelming.

    I know having step children is difficult at times, especially when the other parent is difficult to deal with. I know someone that’s going through a similar situation and I hear the frustration and despair in her voice sometimes.

    I think you’re making a wise choice by handing the phone over to your husband. Considering he and she had the child, it is their responsibility to raise him together. Another words, any issues, events, etc. that involve their son should be discussed between the two of them, not you. I’m not saying that you don’t matter in this situation but you have to remember that the boy’s child care is their responsibility and the final say comes from them.

    Being supportive and loving with your husband and your step son is very important, and I applaud you for doing so. Your husband might have an uphill battle with the child’s mother and he should have the reassurance that you are there for him AND his son, regardless of circumstance. It’s also vital that the child know that you love him and are there for him as well. Having parents argue is a harsh reality. If you show and tell him unconditional love, it will make things less pain staking. Let him know that he isn’t just a “step child.” He is just as important in your household as someone that’s there full-time.

    In the long run, all this back and forth will affect HIM. He is old enough to see things for himself and draw his own conclusions. It might not be something you see right now but he’s analyzing the situations just as much as you, your husband and the ex are. The only difference is that the 3 of you are ADULTS and he, being a child, will process everything differently. There’s a good possibility that he’ll see the arguments and the complaints as a form of rejection, especially since he only visits on the weekends. This can widen a gap in their relationship.

    I know it’s difficult and you feel like you’re on the verge of exploding but stay firm. Pray for the mother… that she and your husband begin communicating on friendly terms. Pray for your step son… that he isn’t affected by these adult problems and sees that he is loved. And pray for yourself… for patience and a continuously open heart.

    Psalm 55:22
    Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

    1 Peter 5:7
    Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

    Matthew 5:43-44
    But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.

    Stay strong. I will be praying for you.

  • Anonymous says:

    I am sooo upset. As a matter of fact, I stay in a complete state of fustration when ever his son comes to stay for the weekend, There always some horrible after math that follows his stay. the baby mama calls tries despratetly wanting to speak to me (out the side of her face) but i will never allow this, I simply let my boy friend handle her with all her false accusations. This is BAD very bad! I know ! for years now I have taken my fill of all the crap. but the fact remains she will allways be around. Sometimes I really feel like my boyfriend could do more to shut her down but , I guess his is doing the best he can. I just wish she would respect me and mines, I allways maintain my composure but I cant help but to feel that ONE fine day I’m going to give her a piece of my mine. Enough is enough. Somebody please pray for me!

  • Anonymous says:

    long, long story short. I've been married for over ten years now, together we have four children a one son from his ex-girl. my step-son his 12 1/2 yrs old. for years there have been many situations where his ex has tryied to make life with me & my husband hell, But the most damageing is what she has done to her own son. She tells her son lies about me his father and his half brothers and sisters, so when ever he comes over he would give problems. I hold back a lot of feelings inside and try my very best to be loving towards him but its so hard at times. I have a lot on my plate (we all do) and my husband is just as drained I am. Most time he pretends that everything is fine, but when ever it comes down to the weekend you could see the fustration in his spirt. when will it ever end.

  • Trophy of Grace says:

    I can understand why your family isn’t too happy about this relationship moving so fast. Three months is hardly enough time to determine that you want to be with someone for the rest of your life. Especially with someone who just recently got out of a five year relationship with two kids.

    This is a very delicate situation that you have involved yourself in. Your fiancé is still recovering from a broken heart and failed dreams from a relationship that produced two children. If he is acting the way that you say then it seems to me that he most certainly still has feelings for the mother of his children. Of course he would because it’s only been three months. How could he possibly give your relationship the commitment it needs when she still has part of his heart and mind?

    He’s focus really should be his children now. Not trying to get into another relationship on the rebound. You don’t need anyone’s sloppy seconds. That is what your relationship will be, sloppy. He’s trying to figure out what he really wants and what the right thing is to do. You don’t want to find yourself on the sidelines hoping that he isn’t still in love with her. Hoping that one day he will be completely yours. Do you want to have to compete for your future husband’s heart?

    You have to do what’s best for you right now. Pray and really ask God if this is what He wants for your life. I believe that He has something better for you, but you have to be patient and wait. If you will begin to seek God’s will for your life He will give you the desires of your heart, because as you begin to seek Him your desires start to line up with God’s will. He has good gifts to give you. He has a good man in store for you. I’m sorry to say but I really do not think this man is for you. His heart still belongs to another.

    My suggestion would be to leave this young man alone. Give him time and space to see if this is really what he wants. More importantly give your self space to pray and seriously seek God’s face about this. I would not want to see you hurt.

    I will be praying for all of you,

    God bless you

  • Anonymous says:

    hey i know what your going thro i need advice simlar to that i have a boyfriend we been dating for 3 months he has 2 kids never married 23 i am only 19 so is his baby mama the babies are 2 and 1 boy and girl ..lately seems as tho he feels uncomfortable around both of us so she often trys to keep me and her apart …i love him we are family aint so crazy about the idea but yea.. the day he broke up with her is the day me and him met…conqincidental i dunno but ..we been dating 3 months and she has been jealous for the most part trying to break us up well now she has a b.f and her baby daddy my b.f is all on alert about the new guy he doesnt know and i am worried that maybe he does have alot of feelings for her if every time she comes around he trys to hide me..when she knows we are engaged and together i met his whole family so when it comes to her b.c they dated for 5 years he feels like its akward to see us in the same room i pray all the time what should i do ???? email me please i need to know

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