Born This Way: My Journey From Sexual immorality To Total Deliverance
February 9, 2016 – 9:57 am | 2 Comments

(Note to readers: Contains graphic content.)
By LC
Until now, I have never confessed my greatest secret to anyone. For more than 25 years, I firmly kept hidden the one thing about me that could change the …

Read the full story »
Dating God’s Way

The decision to date should be by divine appointment, as we allow our heavenly Father to choose who will be spending this special time with His daughters. Learn how to let God make all the arrangements, so you can enjoy the blessings of being in His will!

Get Anonymous Advice NOW!

We’re here to give you advice based on the truth of God’s Word and our life experiences. Please feel free to ask any question you’d like. We want to serve you.

Meet the Women of WeUsed2bu

Collectively, we’ve lived through many of the same experiences that teenagers and young women may go through at some point in their own lives. Read our stories..

Recent Questions & Answers

Here you will find a list of all the questions we’ve received and their answers. May you be led to the article that will help minister to you in your own circumstances.

Tools 4 Building Your Faith

Power-up your walk with God as you read Christian living articles that inform, strengthen and inspire. Equip yourself with the truth of God’s word!

Home » Blessed & Highly Favored, Featured Article, Tools 4 Building Your Faith

Friendship

Submitted by on January 21, 2009 – 12:55 pm2 Comments

friendship
Written by Blessed and Highly Favored

Commitment: The act of pledging, the process of or engaging oneself; entrusting as for safekeeping.

Convenience: Absence of that which annoys; personal wellbeing; that which gives ease or comfort or makes work less difficult and complicated; a condition personally favorable or suitable; advantage.

In my life, I can count on one hand many true friends I’ve had. Friends who really love me, who would be willing to do most anything for me, and who always tell me the truth despite how much it might hurt. Those people know how to make a commitment.

The term “friend” is a word thrown around a lot. “Friend” could mean a guy you’ve been dating but you don’t want your parents or other pals to start asking questions (no sense in letting the whole world know your business, right?) “Friend” could mean starting up a relationship with a girl you’ve just met. “Friend” could mean someone you’ve known for a long time, but you mainly hang out to keep from getting bored, in a casual, I’ve-got-nothing-else-to-do attitude.

Now those “friends” (the ones who keep you from being bored) will tell you what you want to hear and WILL drop you like a bad habit if something else better comes along. You don’t mean anything to them. What you are, are ACQUAINTANCES. You may have common interests, the same likes/dislikes, but the relationship never gets any deeper than surface, unimportant chatter. Sometimes we sacrifice deeper relationships for shallow ones because you can have a lot of “friends” (lots of friends=popularity, right? And we all want to be popular?) As if the greater number of people you know means they all like you? Not!

God shows us how to be friends to one another, how to have deeper friendships. One example is found in 1 Samuel 18 between Jonathon, the son of Saul, the first king of Israel, and David, the second king of Israel. The relationship between Jonathon and David was one of deep respect, love and admiration. They loved each other closer than brothers. Jonathon protected David when Jonathon’s father, Saul, continually tried to kill David. However, despite Saul’s attempts, David still had reverence for Saul, not only as King, but as the father of his best friend. When Saul and Jonathon and the other sons were killed by the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, they were stripped, beheaded and fastened to a wall in Beth Shan. When David was given this news, he was in mournful agony and ordered that their bodies be removed from such desecration and be buried with dignity and respect entitled to a king and his family.

In our relationships with each other, take an inventory of your “friends;” Are they commitments or conveniences? Think about it. Do you make plans with someone, and then change them at a moments notice and always expect them to “understand because they are your friend?” Do you “forget” to include them for certain events because other people might not like them, and your association with them might not get you invited to other “cool” events? Do you plan to do something special with them, and then decide to invite others along without bothering to ask if it would be all right? Then if they said no, it’s not all right; would you get all upset and pout, and wonder what the big deal was? Do you ever so slightly shade the truth with them (lie) so that you don’t look like the bad guy? Are you spending time with them because it’s an excuse to get out of the house and go somewhere?

Sorry, you are treating those people like conveniences, under the guise of being a “friend” and going through the motions. In fact, you don’t have the slightest idea what being a friend is all about. Actually, you’re the fraud, pretending to care about someone, but treating them like a disposable diaper.

Commitment as a friend requires you think about them first, rather than yourself. To cherish them and to honor their heart. That is what binds friends together through thick and thin. You can depend on them; open your heart, and share thoughts, dreams and desires in the safety of that relationship. Honesty must be the cornerstone. To lie and deceive is about selfishness and the first blow of destruction.

Proverbs 17:17, “A friend is loving at all times, and becomes a brother in times of trouble.”

Proverbs 27:9, “Oil and perfume make glad the heart and the wise suggestion of a friend is sweet to the soul.”

Proverbs 27:16, “He who keeps secret the secret of his friend, will get himself a name for good faith.”

Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, so a man makes sharp his friend.”

So if you go changing the deck chairs of your personal relationships, it’s important to be gracious and congenial to people who you have moved to the outer edges of your heart. It gives them a clue that the relationship has changed and allows them the decision to continue to invest themselves in you or to be satisfied with the shift or to simply move on to other more meaningful relationships. To do otherwise is cruel and speaks volumes to your lack of character.

Allow time to cultivate friendships: They can last a lifetime if you’re willing to count them on one hand.

2 Comments »

  • I believe that as I was praying for your answer God showed me a very simple meaning of friendship. I know you have questions and you feel confused, but open your heart to what I want to share with you, and at the end you will see how simple it is.

    There are many kinds of friends, but your close friends or intimate friends should have an intense love for God’s laws. As Christians, we want to be Christ-like, so there are certain things that we find in a friend we will cherish.

    We can never overestimate the value of a true friend. Solomon considers friendship as something to be valued, protected, and nurtured. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.”

    I don’t know if this has happened to you, but I know it has happened to me: when we start bonding with a new person in our life, we eventually take on the characteristics of the person with whom we bond. The bible cautions us on the principle of bonding. Amos 3:3 says it this way, “Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” Also, Proverbs 22:24-25 says, “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.” Have you ever heard the verse about the fact that our Spirit is willing but our flesh is weak?(Matt. 26:41) Well, that was our Lord; He knew that many times, even though we really want to do good, we don’t. That brings us to the importance of having friends that will always put God first in their lives. You see, they will always encourage us and will give us loving criticism. God is love, and friendships based in God’s love will always also provide forgiveness.

    Now back to your question. God said that we should love one another as He loved us. This means that even the people who do not love, worship or serve God, we are to love. We could be the only Jesus they ever see. But they should never be our closest, intimate friends because their values are different than ours. I have many friends, so many that I believe that in Facebook alone I have almost 2 hundred. But this does not mean that they are all my intimate and close friends.

    I really hope this helps you better understand friendship. Just remember that we are here for you and that you are very important to us. I will keep you in my prayers, God bless you always and keep you safe.

    Much love,
    His Precious Gift

    Admin comment: WeUsed2bu has many articles and responses on the topic of friendships. Here are some links to other posts you can read:

    All This Month: Friendships—The Heart of the Matter
    http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/09/01/friendships-the-heart-of-the-matter/?preview=true&preview_id=4193&preview_nonce=62d086e99b

    Is This Only For Your Closest Friends?
    http://www.weusedtobeyou.com/2009/12/21/is-this-only-for-your-closest-friends/

  • anonymous says:

    i dont understand.So we should not talk to anybody that doesnt love and worship and want to serve God.Friendship is really confusing for me.

Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.

CAPTCHA Image
*