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By Lynn Mosher
What is one of the best elements about Christmas, aside from the obvious of Jesus’ birth? The presents? The tree? The food? Nope! For me, it’s the music!
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Home » Answered By Trophy of Grace, Parents/Family/Sibling Issues, Recent Questions & Answers

Having Problems With Little Sister & Parents Having Marriage Problems

Submitted by on January 23, 2010 – 8:00 amNo Comment

Anonymous writes..

Dear Lisa,

sibling_rivalryI have a problem with my little sister. I thought you could help me because you have 7 children, so you probably know about kids.

My little sister is 7 and I’m 14.We are always bickering and sending I don’t like you looks at each other. Sometimes we have these talks and we say all the stuff that bothers us and what well do to get better. Then well be happy and jolly for a day or two, and then it would be back to the same old stuff. My problem with her is that she just doesn’t listen, and she’s rude. My mom like hardly ever smacks her. My mom is really nice and I love her but my little sister is just a terror. Sometimes I almost hate her, but then I remind myself that I should love her. My mom says I’m too mean to her and I yell and scream at her but when I talk normally she doesn’t listen. Especially in public, she’s just rude and soo annoying. But my mom always puts me as the bad guy and her as the little princess. I want to have a relationship with my little sister but how. Why is it so hard for her to behave??!

Also my mom and dad have marriage problems. They’ve been having them for as long as I can remember. It has more to do with my dad but my mom plays a part too. I wanted her to ask you a question but she said because we live in Nigeria and you’re in America (where we just recently moved from) that you wouldn’t understand. But there marriage is horrible! And my dad is really mean, so what should I do other than pray?

Trophy of Grace replies…

I pray that as I answer your questions that the Lord would give the words to speak to you directly for your situation.

I have a ten year old daughter who is always bickering with her soon to be six year old little brother. Those two drive me crazy sometimes with all the back and forth. He likes to aggravate her. I see it. Although I do reprimand him and spank him when he goes too far like hitting her or his little sisters, he still likes to bother all the girls. I think it’s just him being the annoying younger sibling.

I get more upset with the older daughter because she feeds into it and actually causes the situation to be worse. I will tell you like I do my older daughters. You are the older one and more is expected of you because the age difference. You are supposed to be more mature. The younger ones are looking to you as the example. You have to ask God to give you patience and self-control in dealing with your little sister. You are seven years older than her. You cannot react like she does.

You must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowances for her faults and forgive her when she offends or aggravates you. Remember that the Lord has forgive you, so must forgive her too. Above all clothe yourself with love, which will bind you and your sister together in perfect harmony. Loving her for her is the answer to finding peace in your relationship with your sister. God wants you to live in peace. (Colossians 3:12-15)

bigstockphoto_sisters_3564949-1It is not an accident that you are your sister’s sister. God appointed you to that honorable position. It is your responsibility to be there for her and love her. You both are probably carrying stress because of the problems in your parent’s marriage too. You don’t want to add to the problems with bickering and fighting. Pursue peace with her. Be her big sister not her mother.

Regarding your parents and what to do.. prayer is the one thing you can do. The second half of James 5:16 says, “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” If you have believed in Jesus Christ for salvation then you are now made righteous in Christ Jesus. You are the righteous person James is talking about. Your prayers have great power and produce wonderful results. Don’t worry if you have not seen the results of your prayers yet. We are supposed to live by believing and not by seeing. (2 Corinthians 5:7)Keep praying no matter what.

The other thing you can do is be obedient and honor your parents. When they ask you to do something do it without grumbling. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Be encouraging and forgive them quickly. Don’t hold grudges and don’t take sides. They will make mistakes because as you know us parents are not perfect. God is doing a work in us too.

Stay in the Word (the bible). It will give you the comfort you need and I believe the Lord will use you to speak into your parents lives if you will allow Him to. But it is His Words that convicts, corrects, teaches, reveals, gives us wisdom, and revelation. Speak His Word in love. I promise His Word will not return void.

Tell your mother that we are praying for her and her husband. Even though we are from different countries we are still women who can relate to marriage problems. Marriage is not easy but there are many rewards and blessings to those who do not give up. Please give her these scriptures. These are some that the Lord has given to me for my own marriage trials.

Galatians 6:9, “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

1 Peter 2:20-21 “Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.

1 Peter 1:6-7 “So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

Zechariah 4:6 “It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies”

Sincerely,

Trophy of Grace

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