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Home » Answered By Trophy of Grace, New Relationships & Dating, Purity, Purity (relationships & attire), Recent Questions & Answers

How Do I Define A Line and Not Cross It?‏

Submitted by on August 27, 2009 – 12:01 amNo Comment

purity-ringsAnonymous Asks:

Hi, I’m a Christian. I love God, and honestly it amazes me at times all the things He has done for me when I am so undeserving of it. I’ve decided I want to live my life for Christ, but i still have questions about things that I don’t know if I can talk of them out loud. Today I stumbled across a Facebook group full of people who vowed to wait until they were married before they would kiss someone. Although I respect their decisions, I don’t know where to stand. I don’t have a boyfriend, but I want to be kissed someday. Is it wrong to kiss anyone you aren’t married to? I always thought that sex was wrong, and I’m currently in the process of getting a purity ring, but I don’t want to look hypocritical if I do kiss someone while wearing a ring. If that’s all I intend to do, is it wrong to do it? Please help me. I want to do the right thing! Thank you!

Trophy of Grace Replies:

Thanks for writing in sister. It is a pleasure and an honor to be used by God to encourage and advise you. May the Lord give me wisdom to help you and the words to speak.

One of the reasons that we started this ministry was to give Christian women a refuge where they could ask whatever they wanted to and receive godly counsel. You have come to the right place to ask even those questions that people don’t want to speak out loud. Don’t be ashamed or scared to ask. Remember that you can ask anonymously.

Now regarding your first question, ‘Is it wrong to kiss anyone you aren’t married to?

I guess the answer would depend on what type of kiss you would be referring to. It is ok to give someone a kiss on the cheek when greeting them and when departing. That is considered a holy kiss. (Romans 16:16) However if you are going to be making out with every guy that you feel could be ‘the one’ that is not wise. It’s not true that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince.

In order to stay pure you will have to use wisdom and not allow yourself to be put into compromising situations. Your intentions may truly be to ‘only’ kiss. But what many girls don’t realize is that kissing is actually foreplay. Four play is the part of love making before the actual intercourse. Kissing can set your hormones raging and cause sparks of lust to fly all around you. Paul commands his young disciple Timothy to RUN from anything that stimulates youthful lusts, therefore I too must tell you, “Run sister! Run from whatever would cause you to sin and instead pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

One of our contributing writers did a posting called Love Potion#0 and she explains about a hormone that women release called Oxytocin. It is God’s bonding glue for marriage. When you get a chance read it. I think this article helped me better understand why once a girl had been intimate with a guy it was hard to let go. Upon further research I found that this hormone is also released during kissing. kissing_lipsSo kissing can produce chemical reaction and a sexual thrill.

Love Potion #O

Last, you said that you always thought that sex was wrong. Sex outside of marriage IS wrong, but making love to the man that God has given you as your husband can be beautiful. It is through making love that the marriage bond is sealed and made stronger. Sex is a blessing given to married couples to enjoy one another.

We have many articles and questions and answers on purity that may help you. Please click on the links below and read a few. One that I would recommend is 10 Ways To Practice Purity.

10 Ways to Practice Purity

Purity Month On WeUsed2bu

Articles on Purity

Be strong in the Lord sister. You can remain pure until your wedding day, but you will have to be wise. There will be temptation and persecution that will come as a result of your commitment to remain pure, but don’t fret. Our Lord will give you the strength and perseverance you need. Your job is to rely on His strength not your own and to not allow yourself to be led into temptation. If you find yourself tempted don’t worry, God will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He WILL show you a way out so that you can endure. Make sure you take the way out. We will be praying for you.(1 Corinthians 10:13)

Trophy of Grace

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