Born This Way: My Journey From Sexual immorality To Total Deliverance
February 9, 2016 – 9:57 am | 2 Comments

(Note to readers: Contains graphic content.)
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Until now, I have never confessed my greatest secret to anyone. For more than 25 years, I firmly kept hidden the one thing about me that could change the …

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Home » Answered by Treasure Box, Feeling Shame/Guilt/Condemnation, Fighting Temptation, Hot Topics, Low Self Esteem & Insecurity, Recent Questions & Answers, Sexual Issues (lesbianism- bisexuality- promiscuity- pornography- masturbation)

I Find It Difficult, Even Though I Know God, To Overcome Temptation

Submitted by on June 28, 2011 – 8:00 am9 Comments

Anonymous writes…

78701-267x300-confusedteenHello there, I am just in the beginning of my spiritual walk with God. I am finding it difficult, even though I know God is with me, because I’m doing my best to overcome temptations. I do have some sexual addictions and low self esteem and I always tend to think lustful thoughts whenever I come across magazines, movies, pictures etc. I have asked God to forgive me of my sins and I know He has but I still feel the urge to do wrong. Whenever I come across something that is sexually impure to look at I get this feeling to either be jealous because I don’t look or have a great body and lustful beauty as that person, or the feeling to desire them starts to burn inside me and I can’t get the image out of my mind. I feel ashamed, embarrassed and hurt because it’s like it will take me forever to overcome and it’s too much.

Also I have added a relative to my Facebook page and he has some obscene pictures of women on there. I didn’t check his page properly and added him now I regret it. The pictures make me feel ugly and that feeling of desiring them swells up in me. I regret adding him now. Can you suggest what scriptures I can look at to overcome my sexual addictions and how I can really fall in love with God. I do my best to pray and avoid the things that God is against but there are times when I do come across things I should not be looking at. Can you help me or show me what I can do regarding my situation. I don’t want to hurt God or myself anymore. I just want to be free so I can serve God wholeheartedly and honestly. I feel as if I’ve failed God and it makes me feel like the situation won’t change and it will take a long time to change. I’m sick of pulling myself down and degrading God. How can I Iook at something without lusting after it or feeling ugly from it? Will you be able to help me, any help would be much appreciated.

Thank you kindly,  

Treasure Box replies…

Hello,

First off, I must apologize because this response is VERY long. But it’s so important and I couldn’t hold back one single word. Please print it off and study these words from God. It will help you so much!

I’m glad that you wrote this because it’s something that has been burning in my heart. There are so many people out there who struggle with the same thing! You are not alone in this. AND, the situation is not hopeless. There is a cure – but it will take work on your part.

The battle that you are waging is in the mind. And that temptation stares you in the face challenging you when you take that first step: looking. There are three things that you can do to overcome this – and it can happen rather quickly but you’ve got to take these steps and consistently do them for the rest of your life.

You are facing an addiction and much like an alcoholic, you need to stay firm and stay clean till the day you die.

#1 is what you asked for – how to fall in love with God. That is the most important step in this battle because the battle belongs to the Lord.

1 Chronicles 5:20,22 1 Chronicles 5:20-22 (Amplified Bible) 20They were given help against them, and the Hagrites or Ishmaelites were delivered into their hands, and all who were allied with them, for they cried to God in the battle; and He granted their entreaty, because they relied on, clung to, and trusted in Him… 22For a great number fell mortally wounded, because the battle was God’s.

Replace the words Hagrites and Ishmaelites with the name of your enemy – lust. You can rely, cling to and trust in God because the battle is God’s. He wants you free of this as much as you do!

Spend time with your Savior. Perform A.C.T.S. every morning. Spend time Adoring God, Confessing your sin to God, Thanking your God, and Supplicating to Him on behalf of all those in need. Then be still and listen (Psalm 46:10).

To Adore God, just tell Him how wonderful He is. You can get a good idea about how to do this by reading Psalms out loud to God. In them, God’s Name is glorified. This puts you in a good place to realize just Who our God is. He is Supreme and Sovereign! Think about Jesus and all the beautiful things He did. And realize that you have the Holy Spirit Who is going to help you through this.

When you confess, call the sin for what it is. Tell Him, “I am a fornicator,” or “I am filled with lust,” or “I am a liar.” You get the idea. When you call the sin in all the ugliness that it is, it helps you see the sin as God sees it. But then the most important part must follow. Say, “God forgive me for…” and put in what you need forgiveness for. THEN – realize that God forgives you. Forgive yourself and get yourself in the mind frame that you are now totally clean before God, and you can walk as if you’ve never done that thing.

Psalm 103:12 (New Living Translation) He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

And most importantly, start reading your Scriptures. Get through the New Testament, and then get through them again. And again. That is the only way that you can arm yourself against the enemy – Satan wants to pull you away from enjoying full fellowship with God. Read Ephesians 6:10-18 and get a good commentary on it. Study that one out – there is Power in those verses! Just look at 6:10 in the Amplified version; it is amazing!

In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides].

You are not doing this alone,  God is with you every step of the way. You can rely on Him and trust Him. You will be empowered by spending this time with your Best Friend and the Lover of your soul Who is jealous for you.

#2 – this is the second most important step. Quit looking. Quit looking at photos. Don’t go to the places that feature those photos. When you see an attractive woman walking down the street, instead of looking, turn your head and seek out one of God’s other creations. He’s made tons of them! :) If you get on the internet often, turn off images. Don’t pick up a magazine at the register in the store. Don’t even glance at them. Check out the other gadgets, or the gum, or the candy, or mentally calculate how much your groceries are going to cost.

This is so important! Just like an alcoholic should never frequent a bar, you should not be checking things out. Delete that uncle that has inappropriate photos on Facebook. If he asks why, be honest and tell him why. Afraid of hurting his feelings? Then remember that he’s an adult and is supposed to take care of his own feelings. You are not in charge of his feelings. You are just in charge of pleasing God, and it is better to please God than man.

Galatians 1:10 (New Living Translation) Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

The reason why you keep failing is because you keep doing the actions that cause you to fail. Every time you find yourself looking, tell yourself this:

“No! I am a new creation in Christ! I don’t need this, I just need my God!” Then mentally picture yourself in a field, or the beach, or your favorite place, and running up to Jesus and throwing your arms around Him and hugging Him for all you’re worth.

Run to Jesus! He expects you to lean on Him.

So, because it’s such an important step, I’ll say it again. Stop looking. Stop looking. And stop looking. (This comes with a big hug because it’s so hard to show you the tenderness and love with which I am saying this.)

#3 – the third step is fighting the good fight in your mind. The mind is the battlefield. When you find yourself thinking unholy thoughts, immediately conquer them. Don’t forget who is dropping those thoughts into your head. Satan! He has come to kill, steal and destroy.

Look what our beautiful Savior has to say to you:

John 10:10 (Amplified Bible) The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).

Satan wants to destroy your life. The life in you and the life with God. He doesn’t want you to enjoy full fellowship with God. He doesn’t want God to fulfill His purpose in you. You are dangerous to the devil. You, God’s special and unique creation, have something to do for God on this earth which will bring Him Glory and will bring you great rewards in Heaven. And Satan knows exactly how to steal that from you.

The flip side is that Jesus wants you to have a full life till it overflows.

The devil’s favorite battlefield is your mind. He just pops that thought in your mind and watches with glee as you grab it and run with it.

There is not a man on earth who doesn’t get those thoughts popped in. It’s what you do with it that makes all the difference.

So, as soon as an evil thought is popped in, get rid of it quickly – like it was a burning ember dropped onto your brain. Hot and dangerous! How to get rid of it? Easy – like this:

I rebuke that thought in the name of Jesus Christ. I belong to God and He inhabits my heart. I am a new creation and I am no longer the old man. I rebuke you, devil, in Jesus’ Holy Name! I command you by His Authority to get out!”

2 Corinthians 10:5 (New International Version, ©2011) We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

You don’t stop there because there is an empty spot in your head now. If you don’t fill it with something else then that devil will return stronger (Matthew 12:43-45). Also, don’t forget that our human nature is to think about what we’re told not to think about, right? Instead you think about the new scripture that you are memorizing. Get your thoughts pointed in the right direction. You don’t have to fall for that devil’s evil ploy. You have the weapons to fight now. The Word (the Bible) is the most feared weapon for the enemy. He knows that it carries power (Hebrews 4:12).

One more thing, if you fail on your way to overcoming, remember that God wants you to pick yourself up and try again. You can do this with God’s help. The steps are simple. You can overcome! Why? Because…

1 John 4:4 (Amplified Bible) Little children, you are of God [you belong to Him] and have [already] defeated and overcome them [the agents of the antichrist], because He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world.

We are praying for you, sister! God bless you in this journey of victory! I claim victory for you in the name of Jesus Christ!

Hugs!

KatC – Treasure Box

P.S. For thought replacement, you could start memorizing all the scriptures in this response. One at a time. Use them constantly – they are Power!

9 Comments »

  • Treasure Box says:

    Dear SomeAnon,

    This response has two parts. One is theological and the other is all about lust.

    I will answer you with some questions of my own:

    Have *you* ever considered the possibility that *you* might be wrong? That the book I find my answers in might be true? That it is uncompromisingly the Truth?

    Have you considered the fact that if it is true, you are facing judgment with the Creator Who created you? The One that you deny? That’s a scary thought indeed!

    You say that answers can be found in Science. That’s another scary thought. Scientists don’t have all the answers. In fact, there is no Science that proves how the Universe was created. Even the scientists are baffled! Science changes as new discoveries are made. The Science that was known as undeniably *fact* 50, 100, even 1,000 years ago has been disproved. Science says one year that eggs are very bad for you, then next year they’re good! Then they’re bad again – no wait, they are good! 😉

    The Bible has been proven archaeologically time and time again. Josephus, a Jewish historian, admits that Jesus lived on this earth and was crucified. Crucifixion was not even invented when it was foretold 500 years earlier that Jesus would be crucified by this heinous act! That was a practice that the Romans introduced. How about the fact that the 100 prophecies about Jesus were ALL fulfilled? That’s pretty conclusive, if you ask me. All the prophecies prophesied in the Old Testament about Jesus living here on earth, dying on the cross, and raising from the dead, have all come true. The odds of that happening are pretty much nil.

    If you did some research, you would find that Joseph did live in Egypt, Solomon did build his temple, the Hittites did exist, Sargon II was a real king, Belshazzar was alive and well in Daniel’s time. Archaeological evidence that supports the Bible.

    The *arbitrary* rules you mention (such as wearing certain clothing) are in the Old Testament. If you had studied, learned and questioned the Bible, you would know that the Old Testament is only a foreshadow of the coming of Jesus. Christians do not follow the rules and regulations as explained in the Old Testament. There was a reason for these rules, but that is another topic altogether. :)

    I have studied philosophy, and science, and other religions. I study, I question, I learn. All this has brought me to one conclusion: and that is that Jesus Christ came to this earth, lived a perfect life, died for my sins, and rose again to give us Eternal Life. Fully intelligent, active learner admits to this. And what joy and freedom comes with this knowledge!

    My genius husband (a member of Mensa), my classically trained children, and myself have all experienced personal miracles from God. My son who is a triple major in Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics, personally loved watching blind eyes healed, deaf ears opened and lame walking when he prayed for them in Africa this past week. Personal miracles that cannot be invented in any way, nor explained away. There is no doubt in our minds. Maybe you should read the Bible and find out for yourself. Pick up a Bible with a good commentary and read it from front to back. Since you claim to always learn, why not go to the source and disprove it? Study it out. Ask God to reveal the Truth to you. This scripture has never failed me yet:

    James 1:5 (NIV) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

    If you don’t, you stand in danger of belonging to this crowd:

    1 Corinthians 1:18-25 Amplified Bible (AMP)

    18For the story and message of the cross is sheer absurdity and folly to those who are perishing and on their way to perdition, but to us who are being saved it is the [manifestation of] the power of God.

    19For it is written, I will baffle and render useless and destroy the learning of the learned and the philosophy of the philosophers and the cleverness of the clever and the discernment of the discerning; I will frustrate and nullify [them] and bring [them] to nothing.

    20Where is the wise man (the philosopher)? Where is the scribe (the scholar)? Where is the investigator (the logician, the debater) of this present time and age? Has not God shown up the nonsense and the folly of this world’s wisdom?

    21For when the world with all its earthly wisdom failed to perceive and recognize and know God by means of its own philosophy, God in His wisdom was pleased through the foolishness of preaching [salvation, procured by Christ and to be had through Him], to save those who believed (who clung to and trusted in and relied on Him).

    22For while Jews [demandingly] ask for signs and miracles and Greeks pursue philosophy and wisdom,

    23We preach Christ (the Messiah) crucified, [preaching which] to the Jews is a scandal and an offensive stumbling block [that springs a snare or trap], and to the Gentiles it is absurd and utterly un-philosophical nonsense.

    24But to those who are called, whether Jew or Greek (Gentile), Christ [is] the Power of God and the Wisdom of God.

    25[This is] because the foolish thing [that has its source in] God is wiser than men, and the weak thing [that springs] from God is stronger than men.

    Let’s talk about lust. I have personal experiences with this one; I once had lust. The act of making love has nothing to do with lust. When I had sexual relations backed by lust, it satisfied me and left no *deep* emotional connection to that person. It was different. One night stands were easy and I was satisfied in an oily, ugly kind of way.

    God worked with me to get rid of lust. Now when I have sexual relations with my husband, it is a totally different trip. Desiring my husband is very natural indeed; God created it that way – thank the Lord for that. Woohoo! It’s fun and it feels good. When the sexual act is done with love and not lust, when the act is done the way God intended it, the experience is one that cannot compare to the one driven by lust. It is more magnificent, satisfying and beautiful. It is more fulfilling and it leaves me deeply connected to my husband on an emotional level. The same goes for my husband; he enjoys it much more when it is driven by love.

    Look at the difference between lust and love: Lust is self-centered, love is other-centered. Lust says I have a desire and it must be satisfied. Love says I love you so much that I want to please you, I want to make you feel good, I want to be one with you. Lust is driven by selfishness, love by selflessness. Big differences indeed.

    We never said in the post that desiring another human being goes against nature because that is not what was said at all! Had you truly *read* the post, you would notice that we were talking about lust. That is a different beast altogether and one that God warns us about:

    1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 3 God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4 Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor—5 not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

    I have lived on both sides of the fence. I know the difference between making love and having sex driven by lust – I prefer the former. I also know the difference of living a life without God and one with God. There is no high that compares to personal experiences with God. Freedom in Christ is freeing indeed. If you are serious about studying, asking questions and continuing the learning process, and you are not just saying that to impress, then check out this article:

    http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/am/v5/n3/free

    May God bless you with the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation that you may get to know Him better! :)

  • A New Me says:

    Advising a self professed Christian to re-evaluate their faith as a means of rationalizing their guilt, is probably not the best advice I would recommend. Without any belief system or set of moral values to use as a plumb line, society would be in utter chaos as everybody attempted to rationalize their bad actions, thoughts and motives.

    When you strip away the secular vs religion debate circles, one truth still exists…. That truth is faith! Let’s look at the secular definition of faith- Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.

    Either you’re going to have faith that God does exist, that He created the world and He truly loves each of us as his children, or you will have faith in man and his attempt through “science” and hypotheses to discredit the reality of God. The plain and simple fact is that modern science has done more to support Biblical sites, stories and people than to discredit it. You see, science is ever changing. Theories are disproven, hypotheses are withdrawn and science itself is restricted to mans capacity to develop technology. However on the opposite side of the spectrum you have the Word of God which is the same today as it was the day Jesus Christ walked this Earth.

    Have you ever taken time to think about Jesus and his ministry? This guy was either truly God or a complete nutcase (I believe He was God), there is no middle line. He claimed to be the Son of God and God in the same flesh. He spoke a truth of relation with God that has spanned over two thousand years with no variation or change, that has a following of billions of people and His death separated space and time as we know it (BC vs AD). This one man completely changed the face of this world for the better and in the thousands of years since his ministry not one single person was able to disprove or discredit His existence, crucifixion or resurrection. I mean how many million Muslims or Jews would love to discredit Jesus and the Bible, but yet they cannot.

    I have personally come to 2 realizations:

    #1- That God is real, that science (if focused in the right direction) can prove a lot of the Bible, and that the Word of God is infallible.

    #2- That the secular vs religion debate will never end, that there will always be a person or foundation or “scholar” that has found the proverbial “missing link” of truth, and that the enemy of our souls wins if he causes us to doubt.

    With that being said, I place my faith in God and it seems so does anonymous, therefore I encourage anonymous to draw close to God and to allow her faith the time it needs to mature. We will always battle thoughts, sin, and actions that are displeasing to the Lord, but we have the peace that our loving Father has already made amends for those actions on our part. Through the sacrifice of His Son, we are not to walk in condemnation. Christianity is not about religion, it is about relationship, and like any relationship it will take time and effort to mature and flourish. Don’t Give Up, Don’t allow man to make you second guess the truth that you feel deep in your heart and bones! Be Bold, Spread Truth!

  • Chris,

    The definition of addiction is:

    “The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity”

    Anonymous has cleared stated to us,

    “I do have some sexual addictions and low self esteem and I always tend to think lustful thoughts”

    Treasure Box was most certainly NOT encouraging her to feel shame, but instead confirming what Anonymous is already feeling in her own heart that that lustful thoughts and sexual addictions that she is facing are not God’s will for her life and that she is not alone in this battle and that there is hope. See the quote taken from above written by Treasure Box,

    “There are so many people out there who struggle with the same thing! You are not alone in this. AND, the situation is not hopeless.”
    How can we comfort her by telling her that she is not flawed, when ALL OF US are flawed? All of us have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Who can say they are perfect or without sin, no one. (Romans 3:23)

    Here at WeUsed2bu.com we give advance based on our life experiences and most importantly on the infallible Word of God and we will continue do so even in the face of persecution or situations where other people’s ideologies and opinions may differ from the Word of God. Our goal is not to try to counsel her on our opinions on what an addiction may or may not be, but rather on how the Word of God addresses their circumstances. Though everyone is entitled to their opinion WeUsed2bu is a Christian advice site that gives advice based on the bible.

    Thank you for your post.

    Sincerely,

    Trophy of Grace

  • Pantz,

    Thanks for sharing your comment and trying to encourage Anonymous.

    We do not believe that God made her addicted to lust and enslaved to these emotions. We do believe we were all born with a sin nature because we were born into a sinful world so it is inevitable that we are going to battle sinful thoughts and emotions, but we believe that we choose what we will submit to. (Romans 6:16). According to God’s Word, which is where we counsel from, there is most certainly something wrong with us lusting and coveting.

    When we are God’s children, meaning we have accepted His Son Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we have the Holy Spirit in us who helps us to overcome temptation and addictions. God has said this,

    “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” – 1 Corinthians 10:13

    We do not have to be enslaved by our sinful nature and dominated by it. (Romans 8:5-14)

    The guilt she is feeling is because the Holy Spirit in her leads her into all Truth about what’s going in her life, along with God’s Word that teaches her what is true and makes her realize what is wrong in her life. He uses His Word to correct us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16)

    God doesn’t want her sitting under guilt and condemnation though. He wants her to be free from those bondages that will cause her to feel condemned. He wants her to be free from the slavery of lust. That is why He is revealing this sin to her because He wants her delivered from it.

    Thanks again for sharing your perspective and for understanding that we must clarify it with the Word of God because after all it is His prespective that we need :)

    Sincerely,

    Trophy of Grace

  • SomeAnon says:

    I apologize, I have linked the wrong video in my previous post. The following is a much better version:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C8lG9L4XDk&NR=1

  • SomeAnon says:

    Have you ever considered the possibility that you might be wrong? That the book you’re looking for answers in might not have any? That it might be actively lying to you?

    Have you ever considered the possibility that the bunch of bronze age mystics who wrote what you call “Scripture” didn’t have a clue, and were simply codifying their own bigotry and self loathing in to a system that they could use to control others in to the same behavior?

    Have you ever considered that maybe, just perhaps, the answers you seek might be better found through the avenues of science (which has brought you nearly everything around you now) and rational inquiry in to mental health, human sexuality and critical thinking?

    Have you ever looked at the evidence against the historical narrative as told by your bible?

    Have you ever considered that the very concept of an omnipotent, omniscient god is self-contradictory (can a god who knows the future with perfect clarity change it? If so, he’s not omniscient, if not he’s not omnipotent)?

    Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, there’s nothing wrong with you and the things you’re feeling, and that the only source that is telling you that you should feel bad about these things is the very same one that contradicts itself multiple times (look it up, don’t take my word for it), has an inaccurate account of history, and has seemingly arbitrary rules for behavior (Don’t wear clothes made of different cloth? Really?)?

    Do yourself a favor – learn a little bit about the history of what you call “Scripture”. Learn about philosophy. Learn about science. Never stop learning, never stop asking questions.

    If I might humbly suggest, view this short YouTube video: it’s a narrative by Carl Sagan, commenting on astronomy and how small and insignificant we are in the vastness of the cosmos.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmMUuR–Qvo

  • Chris says:

    Why are you calling this an addiction? These are normal, human desires happening to a normal human. Why encourage her to feel shameful about them? Instead, comfort her by telling her that she is not flawed. I suggest you redefine your notion of what an addiction is.

  • FSM says:

    Like all major decisions and concepts that you base major life decisions on and thus your life you need to be sure you truly understand both sides of the issue and that you are not as some would say “being led astray”. I suggest you watch some of Qualia Soup’s videos one being below: http://www.youtube.com/user/QualiaSoup#p/u/14/5wV_REEdvxo

    Your guilt for “sin” is rooted in a theological mindset and perhaps looking into the validity of this mindset will thus change your perceptions and thus your unhappiness.

  • pantz says:

    Dear Anonymous

    There is nothing wrong with you. This is the way God made you. Please do not ever feel guilty for having these emotions because they are completely normal.

    Regards
    pantz

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