I Have A Crush On My Teacher- I Think He Likes Me Too
Hello. My name is G and I accepted Christ as my personal savior five years ago. God had blessed me so much and I have learned a lot throughout these five years of walking with Him. However, I have been struggling with a problem that I am much too embarrassed to share with anyone. Most of my friends know that I am a Christian but I fear that if I talk to them or a person from church about my problem, their view on me will change.
So I am a senior in high school and there is a teacher whom I have had a crush on since last year. He was my teacher last year and Iâve developed feelings for him since. I have never been physically attracted to this teacher but it is his personality that I have always liked. Only one of my friends knows that I have a crush on this teacher, butÂ I play it off and act like itâs not a big deal. She tells me that she believes he is also attracted to me, I donât know if she means physically or emotionally. I agree that we seem to have a connection and he often gives me the impression that he is flirting with me-mostly because of his body language when we talk. He speaks to me with the biggest smile. I tend to observe people and many times my observations have been correct, which is why I think the possibility of him being attracted to me may exist.
One of the reasons as to why I am so ashamed to be having these feelings is because he is not only a teacher, he is a married man in his early 30âs. I am absolutely aware that adultery is a sin and so is desiring a married man, even if no physical actions are taken. However, a couple of months ago I was alone with him in his classroom and we were having a casual conversation, when suddenly the subject of marriage came up. He said that when I graduate from high school I will have the time of my life. Then he started saying that when one gets married all they do is stay home and take care of their children. He also brought up the fact that he no longer goes out as he once used to. As we talked about this he sounded unhappy and all I could do was listen and wonder what his marriage is like. I was also wondering why he would talk to me, a student, about this.
Also, he always mentions that I was such a good student and that he really enjoyed having me in his class. I know itâs wrong for me to have these feelings and Iâm not quite sure whyÂ I feel this way. Perhaps itâs the fact that he is an older man? The worst thing is that I sometimes begin to have sexual desires and think of him.
I am angry with myself because I want to be pure until marriage as God wants us to be but itâs so hard. And just the fact that I am lusting for a married man brings me stress because Iâve seen how adultery has destroyed families. But am I completely crazy or do I have a right to believe that he is also playing along with this? Please keep me in your prayers so thatÂ I may overcome this.
Phew! This is an extremely difficult situation and definitely a crossroad in your life. No amount of prayer is going to help you unless you make a decision and stick with it. Which way you turn is going to determine what kind of a life you are going to have afterwards. Choose wisely here.
I know a beautiful young lady who is sold out for God. She got a job at a restaurant and fell in love with her older boss who has a live-in girlfriend. She fought the same battle you did. She loves God with all of her heart, but still sinned against Him by not following Godly counsel. She was counseled to battle this and turn from temptation by quitting her job, but this young lady really thought she was strong enough. She lost the battle and ended up falling in love and eventually kissing him. Her boss told her that he loved her, too.
No one is really strong enough. Not even King David who had walked with the Lord all of his life and had a heart for Him, and yet committed adultery and murder because he was tempted by a woman (see 2 Samuel 11).
There is one man in the Bible who did fight temptation and win. Joseph, when he was tempted by Potipharâs wife (see Genesis 39). Notice the difference between these two Godly men. King David ran towards the temptation and invited it home while Joseph ran away no matter the consequence!
King Davidâs life was difficult after that nightmare, but Joseph excelled when he became 2nd in command in Egypt. See? A crossroads.
My young friend finally did the right thing and left the restaurant. To this day she regrets what she did and feels like she failed. She knew she should have followed counsel right from the start because after a few months of being away from him, she realized she didnât really love him. See, she thought that she did, but after getting to know him better, she noticed he had some issues that annoyed yer and that his character was flawed.
You donât really know this guy. What you are seeing on a daily basis is the charismatic part of him. You are not seeing the true man behind the teacher. You have no idea what kind of bad habits he has at home. Furthermore, a man who does not enjoy and live a happy life with his own family is not much of a man. How very selfish of him to whine about not going out as much anymore. He can go out – but it requires going with a family.
Now about you. Here is the important part. You acknowledge that you have these feelings for this man. You also acknowledge that itâs a sin to have these sexual desires for him. You are absolutely right. So, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to keep playing with fire or are you going to change the situation? No amount of prayer is going to help you at all if you donât take the steps necessary to fight this temptation. You have a choice in this matter.
What should you do? Run! Leave your cloak behind like Joseph did. Do not even consider the forbidden fruit like Eve did. This is your crossroad. Are you going to hurt your future for someone who lacks the character to enjoy his own family – a choice he has made? Or are you going to honor God and flee for your life? Running away from temptation is the hardest road, but the one that provides more benefits for you.
How do you run? You donât look at him anymore. If possible, change classes – get another teacher. Never, ever, ever be alone with him again. It is a man steeped in sin who emotionally involves a minor in his private affairs. It almost sounds like this is not the first time that he has done this. Donât talk to him, donât look at him, donât discuss anything with him. Put up a cold wall between you. And if he ever asks you whatâs up, you tell him to get behind you as Jesus did when tempted by Peter.
Matthew 16:23 (NLT) Jesus turned to Peter and said, âGet away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from Godâs.â
When thoughts about him pop up, tell them to flee in the name of Jesus Christ. The battlefield is in the mind, dear sister. The thoughts that you are having are just a precursor for the sin that is just waiting to happen.
Mark 7:21-22 (NLT) For from within, out of a personâs heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, wickedness, deceit, lustful desires, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness.
James 1:14-15 (NLT) Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
Dear heart, this a most dangerous situation. Please believe me when I tell you that this teacher knows exactly what heâs doing. He is grooming you to entrap you and hurt your relationship with God. Know why? Because itâs not your teacher who is is tempting you, itâs Satan. Remember, our battle is not against flesh and blood:
Ephesians 6:12 (NLT) For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Thereâs nothing that would give more joy to Satan than to strain your relationship with God. He is attacking you where he knows it will get you best. Are you going to give in to the devil? He has not changed from the beginning of time when he tempted Eve to take a bite of that forbidden fruit. Heâs at it again, that old devil! He is dangling that fruit right in front of your face and saying, âItâs not that bad!â
You remember what Jesus said? He said that if your eye causes you to sin, cut it out. (see Mark 9:47 and Matthew 18:9) Cut it out by changing classes; run as if your life depends on it. Cut off all communications with your teacher. God will see that you are faithful to Him and will reward you accordingly.
Have a hope for your future. Think of the day when you get married and you can say to yourself, âIâve been true to my husband.â You will feel such a sense of relief and self-confidence that you were able to overcome this temptation. Keep your eye on that future and move towards it.
Last but not least; you would be surprised at what your pastor has heard and seen in his congregation. Gracie, there is nothing you can say that will shock him. Believe me. If you feel uncomfortable with him maybe you could talk to your pastorâs wife about this. The reason I say this is because having an accountability partner helps you in the battle. Right now you are emotionally involved and have been physically involved in your mind. Youâve crossed a line that makes it hard to turn back on. You need all the help you can get. This temptation is very hard to overcome alone!
If this man happens to further his flirtations and do something with you, he will end up in jail. Protect yourself from this. Donât be the other woman. Honor his wife and children. This man is theirs by law and in Godâs eyes. Donât take what doesnât belong to you. I hate to say this but you need to be the adult here.
Gracie, I am sorry if this was a strong post. I have typed it with all the love in my heart. I donât want to see you hurt or have lives destroyed over a lie that Satan is using to steal what God has planted in your heart. Remember:
John 10:10 NLT The thiefâs purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.
Donât let that old thief destroy your fresh life that has only begun five years ago. Donât give him the satisfaction of seeing you fall. You can do this, Gracie. You can do anything you set your mind to!
God bless you with His Wisdom, dear sister. And the strength to run away like Joseph did! Lots of hugs! We are here for you if you ever need another tough love post to help you.