I Have A Great Burden On My Heart
Hi, I have a great burden on my heart. I am eighteen years old and I am a sophmore in college, which is pretty young for that level. I have been a very smart individual all my life, and I am known as a genious by all my family and friends. I know that it is only by God’s mercy that he has gaven me such a gift. I have been hard-working and studius all my life. I am majoring in Biology right now at a University. My problem is…I don’t know what I want to do with my life. Everyone says I am going to be a doctor and I would LOVE to be a doctor, that has been a dream since I was in elementary school. However, I simply can not decide if I want to put in that much more extensive studying and work for my whole life. What makes it so exhausting is I have LOADS of homework to do and I am so busy studying, working, and volunteering, barely sleeping, making great grades but deep down I feel empty. I know that I could and need to spend more time with God, and I feel he is leading me through such a tuff time to teach me to trust in him because I don’t know where I am going. Some days I just cry from being so tired and not even knowing why I am working so hard. Its horrible being so smart and not knowing what I will do when I get out of college. Some days are better but others I am so depressed I want to give up and stay in bed forever. I have tons of homework to do as I write this and millions of others things to do but I am just too tired of life I need someone to encourage me. My family loves me and tells me not to work so hard but it is just built into me to acheive the best because I know I can. I would ask that you pray for me, that I may find rest in God and trust in him and that he may show me that way in which I will be blessed abundantly. I guess the most blessed way isn’t always the easiest though. Please give me some words of encouragement, it would be greatly appreciated. I have to wipe my tears now and get back to work :,-(
Beloved By Him replies…
Dear Sister in Christ, Neither your work, nor your tears, are in vain. The Bible says that â€śIn all labor there is profit,â€ť and that â€śThose who sow in tears will reap in joy.â€ť (Prov. 14:23, Ps. 126:5) You are in a season of toil, where you are laboring in your studies in order to produce a harvest that will be a blessing to you and to those whom you will someday serve. Donâ€™t look too far ahead and see only what needs to be done (Matt. 6:34). Determine to keep your eyes only on the Lord, and dedicate your walk to Him, steadily moving forward as He provides the strength and resources you need. Like the farmer who has faith that the seed he sows will bring forth the crop, you need to walk by faith, not by sight, and trust that the Lord will complete the good work He began in you (II Cor. 5:7, Phil. 1:6).
You said you know itâ€™s the Lord Who has blessed you with the gift of a high intelligence level. Reading your story, itâ€™s also apparent that Heâ€™s blessed you with a family that cares about you, the opportunity for you to be in college, and the desire to succeed, possibly even as a doctor. Be thankful! There are people who are striving to fulfill their goals in life without many of your advantages. Donâ€™t allow yourself to become so exhausted, overwhelmed, or consumed with work that you forget to acknowledge how truly blessed you really are (I Thess. 5:16-18). Certainly, these blessings donâ€™t do the work for you, but they definitely make it easier to bear. Plus you have the Lord!! He has already blessed you beyond measure, both in this life and in the eternal (Eph. 1:3). Those are reasons to rejoice!
Thereâ€™s no doubt you are working hard to take care of everything on your plate. But remember, there is no substitute for the quiet time you need to spend in personal communion with the Lord, reading His word, praying, and meditating on Him. Donâ€™t buy the lie that you donâ€™t have time to do devotions. Just like it says in Matthew 6:33, â€śSeek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.â€ť I have seen in my own life that, contrary to my loaded schedule and my long to-do list, if I purpose to spend time with Him, He gives me the time I need to complete the other tasksâ€”often with time to spare! Itâ€™s so important for you to learn to put Him first in your life. There is no job, no career, no schooling, and no relationship which can compare to the fulfillment you will find as you grow in your knowledge and relationship with Him. He must be the most important One in your life, your highest priority. Donâ€™t ever let anything come between or before your desire for Him every day. â€śDelight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.â€ť (Ps. 37:4)
You also need to be spending time in His word so you will know the direction in which He wants you to go. You know He has a plan for your life, and that His plans for you are good and prosperous, but you donâ€™t know the details yet (Jer. 29:11, Is. 55:8-9). You will feel much more confident if you are receiving revelation of His will through His word. He will speak to you and give you wisdom, plus the comfort, strength, and encouragement you really need right now, if you will only take the time to read what Heâ€™s saying (Rom. 15:4). Anyone can â€świng it,â€ť just going forward and trusting in His grace to carry you where He wants you to go. But how much better would it be to know that youâ€™re acting on specific instructions from Him! Heâ€™s your Commander-in-chief. Go to Him and ask Him what His plans are for you; He will tell you what you need to know! (James 1:5)
If you have had a desire to become a doctor since you were small, it might very well be that God has placed that desire in you, and provided you the smarts and the schooling youâ€™ll need to do it. Just remember, nothing we achieve ultimately comes from us, nor should we ever become the focus of the glory. One scripture that I keep close in my heart is II Cor. 3:5, â€śNot that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God.â€ť All that we are is from Him, through Him, and to Him (Rom. 11:36). Only He knows how much work, and stress, we can take. We need to trust Him to make a way to do what Heâ€™s called us to do. This is why His strength is made perfect in our weakness (II Cor. 12:9). If the work is great, and weâ€™re totally depending on Him to do what we just donâ€™t think we can do, then we are constantly leaning on Him for help, whether itâ€™s emotionally, physically, or even intellectually, and weâ€™re completely aware that Heâ€™s making it happen, and that He deserves the glory!!
I would encourage you to take some time and really seek God, for the rest, revelation, and reassurance that you need. He wants to give you His peace and for you to know that youâ€™re not doing any of this alone (John 14:27, Phil. 4:7, Heb. 13: 3). The holidays will be here soon, and although you will have exams to finish, maybe during your break you can spend time fasting, reading, or even seeking counsel from someone who can help you become more settled in your resolve to follow Godâ€™s will. In the meantime, try not to overly commit yourself to unnecessary responsibilities. A Christian counselor recently admonished me that my priorities need to be 1) God, 2) family, 3) work, 4) ministry. If you donâ€™t have time to do volunteer work right now, thatâ€™s okay. Save your time, effort, and strength for the most important things so that you donâ€™t burn out. You will have opportunities to serve the Lord when the work is done. God gave you your knowledge and skills to love on others and be an instrument of His grace and mercy, not just to work yourself to pieces! (I Cor. 8:1)
Keep going to your Heavenly Father and finding rest for your spirit in His love and peace (Ps. 46:10, Matt. 11:28). Donâ€™t let the expectations of others push you to your limits; do all that you do for Him, not for them (Col. 3:23-24). If Heâ€™s called you to a season of work, then resolve to do the work even if you donâ€™t see the reward YET (Hab. 3:17-19, Hag. 2:19). No gift from God should be a burden, but â€śTo whom much is given, much is required.â€ť (Luke 12:48) When you know youâ€™re in Godâ€™s will, you also know that you truly can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you (Phil. 4:13). Letâ€™s go to Him and pray that you will be strengthened with His might (Col. 1:11)!
Heavenly Father, Dear Jesus, Dear Holy Spirit,
Thank You that we can come to You without fear because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. Thank You that we are His righteousness, and that You only see us as Your children and not for our sins. Please forgive us, Lord, for putting ourselves, our own desire for glory, our own wants and needs, before our love and desire to serve You, because we havenâ€™t fully trusted You to care and provide for us. Lord, my sister needs encouragement and the resolve to know that she can do whatever Youâ€™ve called her to do. I pray that You will give her Your strength in place of weakness, Your joy in place of her sadness, and Your peace for her fears. I know that You never leave or abandon Your children, and nothing can snatch us out of Your high and mighty right hand. Thank You so much for Your love, mercy, and grace, Lord Jesus. You have blessed us so much, Lord; please never let us forget to give you praise and thanks always for Your multitude of blessings and grace gifts. Please Father give her the wisdom she needs so that she will know Your will for her life, and let her trust that Your timing is perfect, if she will only wait on You and Your word. Thank you for her, Lord Jesus, that Youâ€™ve called her into Your awesome kingdom, and that Youâ€™ve given her a desire to love and serve You. Let her know You more every day, and restore her hope and strength by the incredible power of Your Holy Spirit. We love You, Lord God, we give You all the praise and the glory, and we are humbled by all that You are and all that You continue to do in us and for us. We praise You, Jesus Christ!!
In Your name we pray, Amen.
Be blessed, sister! Be hopeful! Be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go! (Josh. 1:9)