Isolation
Written by: Blessed & Highly Favored
Iâve been a Christian for many years. I teach, preach, sing, mentor, counsel, exhort and evangelize, exercising the gifts and talents the Lord Jesus Christ has given me to build up the Body of Christ. Daily, I have to kneel and submit my mind, will and emotions to the Lord. If I think for one day I can just get by, well, thatâs called self deception, and the whole day is a grind.
I allow the Lord to use me, and because of that, my time is very tight. It seems that at the end of the day, itâs a relief to just take a shower and brush my teeth. Because I invest a great deal of my life in other people, I do have to take time for myself, and I always end up praying. Even if it is going to the mall, getting my nails done, sitting on the beach watching the shore birds run away from the waves, Iâm always having a conversation with the Lord. But Iâm always alone, and most times, I donât want to be.
I asked the Lord how come I donât have friends who call me, or invite me to do things with them. This is pretty much the first time in my life that this has happened. I mean people were always asking me to be someplace or to go with them somewhere. Wow, what is up with this? If I was sinning and doing something wrong, I wanted the Lord to show me so I could stop and get right. I wanted fellowship, but despite repeated attempts to reach out, I was met with indifference and was basically rejected. The silence was unnerving and I would be lying if I said it didnât hurt my feelings. It did and I needed to get rid of this feeling real fast.
So, rather than pick up a phone and call an 800 number (âcause my friends didnât want to talk to me), I went to the Bible and started to study about loneliness and separation. Imagine thatâŠitâs there.
David wrote about his loneliness, and abandonment. In Psalm 41: 5-7, 9, âBut my enemies say nothing but evil about me. âHow soon will he die and be forgotten?â they ask. They visit me as if they are my friends but all the while they gather gossip, and when they leave, they spread it everywhere. All who hate me whisper about me, imagining the worst for meâŠEven my best friend, the one I trusted completely, the one who shared my food, has turned against me.â
Of course my imagination would love to run away with this, but that is why we are told to âcast down imaginationsâ and âbring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christâ(2 Corinthians 10: 5). Before the seed of pity and hurt had a chance to embed itself into my thinking to grow into anger, resentment and bitterness, I had to submit this to the Lord and lay it at His feet. Not wanting to give the devil credit for anything, it was my own flesh getting in the way. I could have a little pity party and allow my heart to grow dark and resentful, but darkness and light cannot exist in the same place. This was a feeling that I could allow to swell and fester, or I could let the Lord quiet my soul and rely on Him.
When we feel lonely, we need to express that to G-d. Itâs no surprise to Him, and after all, He already knows about it. And donât think youâre a âwhinerâ when you do. When we deny that part of our heart, that emotional yearn for affirmation and fellowship to G-d, we deny the opportunity for growth and correction. Anger and resentment is like a cancer, and if not taken care of quickly, it seeps into every area of our life and devours our joy.
People in leadership are often misunderstood as aloof or distant. The truth is they have been set apart on purpose, not to sport an attitude, but to focus attention on their relationship with G-d. This is especially evident when intercession and fasting is involved. To you it may seem a weird way to serve G-d, but the first thing He desires from us is obedience. And the price of obedience may very well cost you the time you otherwise would have spent with friends. Iâm not saying itâs easier because youâre being called to serve Him, but it is a choice and a higher calling. The benefits so outweigh the price, and He might be preparing you for a trip to the mission field where cell phones, computers and other electronic devices are a luxury.
However, let me be very clearâŠif youâve had or are having issues concerning addictions, the enemy thrives in isolation. This is the playground of satan and he would like nothing more than for YOU to REMOVE yourself from fellowship so he can play games with your head. You have to be in fellowship with other Christian sisters who know your story, so not only are you accountable to G-d, but to them as well.
In the meantime, I walk through this season of separation, learning to lean on the Lord more each day, praying for those who I once had a closeness with, and watch them disappear from my life. I donât have to like it, I just have to walk through it; His Grace is sufficient.
Blessed and Highly Favored
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Youâre not a loner. ï Youâre just alone right now. Itâs only temporary. Believe it or not I am going through a change in my life too, where I feel more alone than I would like. But itâs only temporary. God wants you to know that this is just a season in your life. Every time when you find yourself in a transition where people are coming and going in your life, itâs because God is repositioning you to receive something new. This is how we grow. Like it says in the word unless a seed falls into the ground and dies, it will abide alone.
John 12:24 Jesus says to his disciples, I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
Think of a plant and how you put the seed down into the soil. So that it will grow you water it daily; you put it into the sunlight. Even though it doesnât look like anything is happening on the outside, that seed has broken out of itsâ shell and began to sprout upwards until it pops up out of the ground. The plant begins to bloom, and pollinate, and make more blooms, etc. You get the point, right?
You will see in scripture in the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, where Jesus often went off alone. Luke 5:16 says that Jesus withdrew to the desert and prayed. Notice that even though he had his 12 disciplines, he was maybe a bit closer to Peter, James and John. These were the ones that went with him on the mountain of transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-9). Also, Proverbs 18:24 says âThe man (girl or woman) of many friends will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer that a brother. â This friend that sticks closer than a brother or sister, I believe, is Jesus, through the person of Holy Spirit. And, too many friends and you wouldnât be able to keep up, and youâd turn into a bad friend. ï
Hereâs the deal, I know that you are not Jesus, but as a Christian you should pray to be more like Him, so that you can really know Him. So use this time to your advantage. Take this opportunity to get into your Bible and study and pray. Also, spend this time maybe serving and helping out around the house. Be a helper to your parents, grandparents, uncles or aunts. Maybe youâve got some closets to clean out or the garage and it will make you feel so good to give away things that you donât use or wear anymore to a local shelter. Or maybe you could help out with cooking some new recipes for your family. Or, you may want to try to take up a new workout program, like bicycle, hiking and jogging. Go to the library and read some autobiographies about girls your age that accomplished amazing things, and then start journaling about what you would like to see in your future. Hereâs a thought: you could take on extra credit projects at school and get the very best grades that you can get, and excel in a particular area? You should make the best of your situation, because it wonât always be this way.
When I was younger and I was feeling lonely, I would remind myself that this is only temporary. You need to hang on; life will change. Then, you will have new challenges to face. We are all on a journey called Life and most of it is the âwaitingâ to get from one point to the next point. My challenge to you is what will you do during your âwaitingâ time? Will you find something to do that will make you feel good inside and seek God? Or will you let it frustrate you until you grow cold, angry and bitter? Also, you let your beauty blossom from the inside out and not worry about the boy thing; the right one will find you. ï
Be happy,
Sweet Freedom
I feel exactly the same,except i feel like ther is no Christian sister that i can befriend.I hate loneliness,and not being invited for sleepovers or birthday parties or just a nice long talk.In my old school i had plenty of friends,but here,in mny new(well not soo new,i’ve been here for 3 years i have only one,and not that i really care that much,but like NO boys even talk to me.And the sad thing is that now i am almost getting used to being a loner:(