Married To An Unbeliever
Written by Blessed & Highly Favored
When I married my husband, I was back-slidden. I had been on fire for G-d for years, but after accepting some job transfers that held the promise of further promotion, I found myself compromising my Christian values, edging closer back to the mire from which I had been Saved. Eventually, I was back in the pig pile of the world. Please remember, dear readers, if you are not in Christ, you are against Him. There is no gray area.
I met my husband and after awhile, we were married. I was in my LATE 20ās, had a steady job for five years, my own money, lived by myself and traveled. Let me REPEATā¦late 20āSā¦five years in the same jobā¦lived by myselfā¦traveled…I was an adult.
Years go by, circumstances change, and I find myself asking the Lord to forgive me of all my stupidity. I told my husband what I was doing, and he said if that is what I wanted to do, then go for it, but donāt expect him to do the same. Ok, that was understandable. Asking Jesus to forgive you of your sins is a personal, individual decision, and no one can make it for you.
Now, some wives are control freaks and manipulators. They view their husbands as children who need to be raised, told what to do, nagged into submission, and we become the center of our worlds. We are the only ones allowed to have feelings and express them, and your husband is just going to have to understand. After all, heās an over-sexed, knuckle dragging ape that does not appreciate anything and does not help with anything around the house. Submitting to such a man is so against what we have all been taught, right?
Feminists today are not all about equal pay and enacting laws against discrimination. Feminists today teach young girls to worship themselves as goddesses or as queens and whatever they want to do, they can do regardless of who gets in the way and whom they hurt or destroy. Feminism removes our worth God has placed in us, and replaces it with self-fulfillment through yoga, chanting, spending, career, money, and anything else that provides short-term happiness. Feminists treat men like ornaments or boy toysāthey are not necessary but an option, and if we get tired of them, we can trade them in for a different model.
As I became a stronger believer, I prayed all the time for my husband. In addition, at one point, I became very frustrated as to why such a smart man couldnāt see how much he needed Jesus in his life. It would be so cool to be a Christian couple and be able to share what the Lord was doing in our lives. I thought I could make it happen. Then the Spirit of the Lord told me, āGet your eyes off your husband. What is between you and Me is different from what I have between him and Me. You cannot āmakeā him do anything, anymore than I can make you do anything. You choose to love Me; you choose to obey Me; you choose to serve Me. My Love covers you, heals you and gives you direction. I love your husband in the same way. He is my bride as well. I talk to him all the time and his heart is open to Me. Donāt stand in the way or act out in direct opposition to what I AM DOING IN HIS LIFE.ā The Lord reminded me about 1 Peter 3:1-2. āIn the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.ā (NLT)
That made all the difference. Getting my eyes off my husband gets me out of the way, and allows Jesus to do His work in me as a witness to my husband, while Jesus works in his life. I am still married to the same man, and being in Christ has made me a better woman, a better wife and a better mother. He is edging ever closer to Christ, and I silently give all the Glory to God for His Grace, Love and Mercy to draw us closer to one another. I adore him, and he still makes me feel all goofy inside. We are genuinely affectionate, in speech as well as physically. When I text him and tell him I need some ālip service,ā it means come here and shower me with kisses. And he does š after 22 years of marriage.
I believe God because I am witnessing His Love change us and draw us closer together. I need to be faithful first to our Lord and Savior: faithful to His promises, and faithful in obedience and submission to the perfect Will of God. If I practice that daily, submitting to my husband is no big deal, because I know I am not in control anyway. I am accountable to the Lord for what I have studied and know, not for anybody else. We are sanctified in our relationship to one another, 1 Corinthians 7:14, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified (be made or declared holy) by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.” G-d wants me to keep my eyes on Him, the source of everything Good and Holy. I cannot improve on perfection, so I take my eyes, my hands, my attention off all of it and give G-d all the Glory for His perfect work.