Sometimes I Do Very Wrong And I Just Hate Myself For It
Scratcher writes…
Sometimes I do something very wrong and I just hate myself for it and I want to get something sharp and scratch my skin really hard. I know it’s wrong but I just hate myself for doing these things wrong and it just makes me want to harm myself
Dear Scratcher,
For starters, will you please give yourself a new user name? 
We all do things that we regret. Everyone is a sinner. Sin means simply “missing the mark”. We all miss the mark from time to time. I struggled with a “perfectionism spirit” for a good portion of my life. Being a perfectionist will rob your joy. Being a perfectionist makes you self-focused. In order for Jesus to use you, and to flow through you, you need to become other-focused.
Hebrews 4:15-16 For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been temped in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God’s unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy for our failures and find grace to help in good time for every need (appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it.)
1 Peter 5:7Â Casting the whole of your care (all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all) on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord (releasing the weight of it) and He will sustain you; He will never allow the consistently righteous to be moved made to slip, fall, or fail.
To be in right standing with God (forgiveness of sin) is what it means to be righteous. And, every time a negative self-talk starts going off inside your head, you need to take authority over it through Christ, and say “yes, I know that I may have sinned, but I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I that lives, but it is Christ that lives through me.” (Galatians 2:20)
Please do a word study on this word grace. You need to understand what grace means. It’s not an easy word to understand. Stop trying so hard. Learn what the Jesus’ blood and resurrection life means to you, personally. Â
Go to www.blueletterbible.org and put in the word GRACE, or go to http://www.blueletterbible.org/search/translationResults.cfm?Criteria=grace&t=KJV&sf=5
This is a really helpful tool. But, the transformation and healing that you are seeking is found in the Word of God. The Bible is your friend. Your Bible is Spiritual Food. Your Bible is the Word of God for you. It’s your manual on how to be a Christian. It’s your written inheritance.  It’s your guide and comforter. Write down a few of these scriptures on notecards and carry them with you; say them and pray them, so that you can fight off these negative thoughts. You will be amazed at the transformation. You will become the real you.Â
Another book that I would recommend, (depending on your age), Grace for the Good Girl, Letting Go of the Try Hard Life, by Emily Freeman.Â
Also, please check out these articles:
God bless you,
