The First Christmas Carol
December 3, 2014 – 9:09 am | No Comment

By Lynn Mosher
What is one of the best elements about Christmas, aside from the obvious of Jesus’ birth? The presents? The tree? The food? Nope! For me, it’s the music!
I love all the Christmas music. …

Read the full story »
Dating God’s Way

The decision to date should be by divine appointment, as we allow our heavenly Father to choose who will be spending this special time with His daughters. Learn how to let God make all the arrangements, so you can enjoy the blessings of being in His will!

Get Anonymous Advice NOW!

We’re here to give you advice based on the truth of God’s Word and our life experiences. Please feel free to ask any question you’d like. We want to serve you.

Meet the Women of WeUsed2bu

Collectively, we’ve lived through many of the same experiences that teenagers and young women may go through at some point in their own lives. Read our stories..

Recent Questions & Answers

Here you will find a list of all the questions we’ve received and their answers. May you be led to the article that will help minister to you in your own circumstances.

Tools 4 Building Your Faith

Power-up your walk with God as you read Christian living articles that inform, strengthen and inspire. Equip yourself with the truth of God’s word!

Home » Dating God's Way, Featured Article, Pam-Precious In His Sight, Tools 4 Building Your Faith

Why Can’t We Live Together?

Submitted by on February 26, 2010 – 12:06 pm2 Comments

Written by Precious In His Sight-Pam Adderely

Is It Wrong To “Shack Up”??

bigstockphoto_moving_house_young_couple_wit_6523792What could be so wrong with two people that are in love and wanting to spend every wakening moment with each other?

Is it a crime to want to live under the same roof with your boyfriend even though the two of you are not married?

Why would it be a sin to get to know the person that you love and that loves you, in an intimate setting in the same house?

Is it wrong to want to play house before walking down the isle?

Why is it so bad to want to learn the daily ways of the one that you love, before making that final commitment?

But I can’t afford to live on my own, so my boyfriend told me that I can live with him and we can help each other out financially, what’s so wrong about that?

My parents and I aren’t getting along at this time, and they told me that I have to leave their home, I don’t have anywhere else to go besides my boyfriends house, are you saying that I shouldn’t crash at his house until I can take care of myself?

Are you really saying that living with my man, even though we are not married, is wrong??

I want you to show me in the bible, where God says that it is wrong to SHACK UP!!!

I am so glad that you asked me all of these questions……

Let’s turn our bibles to the book of 1 Corinthians 7:9, “But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust.” (NLT)

Now, this verse of scripture is not telling us to run out there and get married. What Paul is saying in this verse is that it is better to marry the right person than to live in sin and lust. The word of God is not saying that marriage is the way out of living together. God wants us to live a life holy, pure and just. Not unholy, tainted and unjust! He does not want us to live a life of pressure and confusion.

We’ve read 1Corinthians 7:9 now let’s read versus 8-11 so that we can get a true understanding of what Paul was trying to say;

“Now I say to those who aren’t married and to widows, it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust. Now, for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.”

Wow, that’s a mouthful and a whole lot to think about!!

What I feel Paul is telling us in these few verses is that we should not allow the pressures of this world to cause us to indulge ourselves in sexual activities outside of the marriage bed. (Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is. Romans 12:2)

bigstockphoto_couple_laying_on_b-1Paul is instructing us, first of all, to get control of ourselves (by not being promiscuous), and if we can not do this then we should find the right person and make it legal through marriage. Living together, to me, means that you have settled for something that you are emotionally caught up in. You have allowed yourself to move in a direction that is not a part of the plan that God has for your life. It may turn out that the person that you are living with, isn’t the person that you are to suppose to spend the rest of your life with and this relationship can be blocking you from encountering the person that God created for you. (For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11)

Nothing is wrong with two people being in love and wanting to spend every wakening moment with each other, but at the end of the night, you should both say your goodbye’s and go to your separate homes.

It is not a crime, according to the world, to live under the same roof with your boyfriend. According to the word of God, this opens a door to fornication, which God is against. Do you remember earlier I said that God wants us to remain holy, pure and just?

Shacking up with your boyfriend disregards what God wants for you. (We should be decent and true in everything we do, so that everyone can approve of our behavior. Don’t participate in wild parties and getting drunk, or in adultery and immoral living, or in fighting and jealousy. (Romans 13:13)

You don’t have to shack up, with a person in order to get to know them better. This is done through spending time in an atmosphere that is conducive to both of you. An atmosphere that allows you to see this person in the whole. This is done in group settings, like, hanging out with your friends, going to church together and even serving in a ministry together. When you spend this quality time with that special someone, you see them in a totally different way that will allow you to know if this is the person that you really want to continue your life with.

Why play house before you have established a home?

There is a difference between a house and a home. When you are playing house, by shacking up, you are just going through the motion and a routine. Your relationship is still uncertain, because in some relationships where two people are living together, they get so comfortable in their house that they never really make it a home. The ring is never placed on the finger, the marriage license is never signed, the wedding ceremony never takes place, why, because they have allowed complacency to set in and take over, to the point where there is no room to build a real home.

But when you get that ring on your finger and the ceremony is done, and the boxes are unpacked, and the china is placed in the cupboard, then you have created a home of peace for you and your spouse.

You may be thinking, I’m still so young to even consider marriage at this time, I’m still testing out the waters…

If that is your case, then do not add confusion to your testing….

If you are considering living with your boyfriend because you can not afford to live on your own, and he is telling you that the two of you can help each other out by living together, then I have a word for you…

“It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in people. It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in princes.” (Psalm 118:8-9)

Notice, the word repeats itself but gives you different categories of who not to put your confidence in, but Who your trust should remain in.

If you have a situation where you and your parents aren’t getting along and your boyfriend is encouraging you to come and live with him, then you need to step back and look at the whole picture and maybe you will see exactly why you are not getting along with your parents. Could it be the pressure that is being placed upon you by a certain individual that you claim to be in love with?

Do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord, no matter what happens. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. (Hebrews 10:35-36)

I do understand the pressure of life and what the world offers to you as a young woman. At one point in my life, I also thought it was okay to test the waters before making that final commitment. For a few months before we were married, my husband and I lived together. Our first child was already born, so we didn’t see a problem in taking that next step, we were getting married any way. I did everything opposite of the word of God, and if I could do it all over again, I would do it right!

We loved each other and wanted to spend every wakening moment with each other, but it was not right. We had set up a house, but it wasn’t truly a home. We were going through the motions of a couple that lived under the same roof, but it just did not feel right. Once we got married our house became a home and peace was present in the midst of our ready-made family.

No matter what your situation may be that is allowing you to think that it is okay to live with your honey, turn to the word of God and the biblical counsel of those that have walked down this path before, so that your decision would be righteous and holy!!

I leave you with this word from God, and I pray that it blesses you…..

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn your back on evil. (Proverbs 3:5-7 NLT)

 

pam1Precious in His Sight-Pam Adderely
Read articles written by Precious In His Sight
Read questions answered by Precious In His Sight
Visit Pam’s personal blog

2 Comments »

  • His Precious Gift says:

    Dear Anonymous,

    It is very sad that there are children involved in this situation. I know how hard it is for them to understand what is going on. They become confused and angry, and they often blame themselves. The only way to answer your question is with the word of God. I believe that the Bible is a practical tool for helping us overcome every trial; its guidelines are essential for when we need to make a major decision.

    Now the first question is are you both Christians? If you both are, the word says, “Offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1-2) Now you might ask how can a person’s mind be renewed? The Apostle Paul tells us to “take every thought captive.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) This statement implies that there is a choice of the will, and that we can use our will to begin to change the way we think. Each time a thought that is obviously outside the will of God and contrary to the Word of God comes into your mind, replace that thought with a truth from His Word. The results are godly thoughts resulting in godly actions.

    Malachi 2:16 states, “’I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the LORD Almighty.” So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith. Divorce is never the right thing to do; the only way divorce is permissible is sexual infidelity (Matthew 19:9) or physical abandonment (I Corinthians 7:15) which involves a non-believer.
    I can’t tell you what to do and I don’t know what your situation is—even if it involves the children—but regarding divorce, you need to be careful in your decision. Marriage and divorce are not to be taken lightly. This passage cautions us not to separate what God has brought together for His purpose (Mark 10:9). It’s a binding contract with God.

    Now if there is abuse, I would really hope you are seeking help and counsel within your church or local institutions in your area. God is the God of love, peace and joy, and when there are problems in a relationship we see the opposite. The Word says in John 10:10:”The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Don’t let the enemy destroy your family and your future…

    I will be praying for you and your family and I will ask God to give you wisdom to make the right decision. Remember always that Jesus loves you and you are never alone, He is faithful.

    Much love, His Precious Gift.

  • anonymous says:

    Wat if the marriage is really bad,then can the people separate,especially if they have children who are suffering?

Leave a comment!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.

CAPTCHA Image
*

  • hot blondes big boobs on video
  • young boy on mature
  • early teenage girl masterbation
  • free hot ass thumb galleries
  • torrent bittorrent wife sex
  • hott hardcore sex
  • Sex life picture
  • roommate watch girl naked story
  • bang my wife pics
  • real amateur milf porn
  • shemale mariana video
  • Big black ass in panties
  • gives oral sex stories
  • white girls suck big black cocks
  • free pictures naked women large breasts
  • picture on weave on black people
  • free older women sex pictures
  • snake up a pussy sex pic
  • icing for petite fours
  • shemale masterbation pics videos
  • young black nake
  • black teen pee
  • free asian porn galliries
  • slay my pussy
  • she male porn free video
  • petite sleeve top
  • voyeur tiny pussy
  • couples seducing teen boysporn videos
  • new teen porn vids
  • wife sharing video tube
  • jap girl anal sex
  • Tiny teen big cock
  • big wet loose black teen ass
  • hot black girl names
  • free anal lesbian vids
  • young teen xx
  • saggy boobs video
  • sharapova sex video
  • video ass lick
  • Boobs sucking sex
  • vintage anal movies
  • free megan fox home sex videos
  • slovakian porn girl
  • kristin davis naked video
  • bleached pubic pussy hair
  • Does sex feel good for girls
  • Video paris hilton sex tape
  • free teen porn video
  • Teen sexual behavior
  • teens wearing thongs to young pics
  • Nude calendar models
  • young girls older lesbian women
  • graet anime books for teen girls
  • free erotic lesbian stories online
  • lord and taylor petite pants
  • free hardcore granny sex videos
  • japanese old young women love
  • free lesbian hardcore squirting porn videos
  • Teen sex act
  • black shower fuck
  • big black dick in white pussy
  • nudist colonies with young girls
  • eat my pussy pleas
  • teen mystery party
  • dailymotion massage pussy tits
  • red headed girls pussy
  • wife tricked fuck black video
  • hot mature babe nice pussy
  • Hot girls stripping and dancing
  • anal stockings sex
  • lingerie young porn video
  • black sluty mom huge ass
  • hot teen models having sex
  • amature teen couples tube
  • lebians hairy pussy
  • Wild black sex videos
  • danish interracial sex
  • glamour ladies sex movies
  • how to have sex girl asleep
  • Google sex group
  • rate my boobs pictures
  • fuck me teen thumbs
  • Black girl playing with pussy
  • gang bang real wives
  • skinny hot teen videos
  • aggessive beautiful babes xxx
  • German teen anal porn movies
  • ex amateur nude girl friends
  • free fingering naked girl video
  • demon sex video
  • Infeccion de vagina
  • hot moms teaching teens to fuck
  • schoolgirl uniform japan
  • lesbian porn interracial
  • thainee galleries hardcore
  • Nude girls with big butts
  • free downloading teen fuck vedios
  • Nikki alexander nude pics
  • Classic movie sex scenes
  • mature oorgasm video
  • teeny teen tits black
  • her fist sex with black guy
  • teens hot pictures
  • young hard tits
  • Indian teens anal sex
  • tight young teen lesbians
  • show pictures of girls in bakinis
  • porn young girls
  • Filipino sex xxx
  • naked teen girls voyeur
  • wife wants slow hard fuck
  • sexy blonde on video
  • crossed dressed pics porn
  • subaru tv commercial young blonde
  • innocent japanese girls
  • carolina newscaster naked movie
  • does oral sex cause mouth cancer
  • china girl sexy tube
  • Sex and the city movie ringtone
  • adult movies videos amateur
  • Bad ass girls drive bad ass toys
  • naked womens butts free pics
  • bikini lesbian romanse
  • asiatic lily petite brigitte
  • girls on movies
  • unsuspecting girls topless
  • Sex with hot aunt
  • cock damage pussy
  • wife first pussy eat
  • girl licks girls ass for cash
  • aimee mann hardcore nde sex
  • girls fucking giant dicks
  • watch black hoe movies
  • Sexy girls shorts
  • girls video in changing rooms
  • girl gives sleeping guy blowjob video
  • black rain what id say movie
  • Hot girls having lesbian sex
  • Naked blonde sluts
  • locker room fuck video
  • fantasies about wife sex
  • fingering lesbian bath
  • sow off pussy
  • jailbait nude teens free pics
  • ameteur mature girl on girl
  • underground porn videos x
  • teen morning sex
  • Vagina porn sex
  • college teen anal prolase
  • the black sexy marvel
  • free bbw threesome video
  • ebony free streaming porn
  • lesbian sex video tube
  • good movies with sex scenes
  • cheating girlfriends boobs
  • extream hairy pussy pic
  • japanese mom son cunt fuck
  • free sex videos keezmovies
  • mature dominant black woman story
  • Big tit paradise
  • summer rose interracial sex
  • charlotte ton naked pics
  • cheyenne silver hardcore sex pics
  • free petite teen videos
  • xxx loose panty fuck
  • fuck teen neighbor
  • extreme pornstar movies
  • christmas pictures of japan
  • hardcore porn gagged
  • pussy just fucked
  • shaved teen masturbation movies
  • mom suck teen cock
  • pictures of naked lwomen
  • free pics sexy girls
  • rare granny blowjob movies
  • drunk pussy girls
  • thick pussy milf
  • amateur indian home sex video
  • young amateur couples having sex
  • submitted amateur sex
  • Teen romantic movie
  • running apparel and petite
  • brunette petite teens
  • Kelly carlson nip tuck sex scene
  • movie complience sex forign index
  • amature group sex free
  • Hot black booty sex
  • Sophie marceau video nude
  • wife filmed taking black cum
  • Cum sluts pics
  • texas boat party topless
  • black girls in spring break
  • free big boobs adult movie
  • X ray nude pictures
  • asian into white porn
  • Sex pictures of couples
  • irish naked girl
  • Shannon elizabeth nude photos
  • two ebony girls one guy
  • free tiny teens massage videos
  • nakid black girls
  • Asian girl big tits
  • cop porn video
  • blonde facial cumshot movies multiple
  • Asian sexy girls photo
  • amateur de video de cul
  • lesbo group sex pics
  • ass and free and pics
  • all free indian fuck vids
  • do hispanic guys like black girls
  • free black porno videos
  • amateur wife pics of tits
  • cherry pop ultrasoft vibrating pussy
  • wives eating pussy videos
  • women in their fifties sex videos
  • Girls kiss for the first time
  • teen porn tit lttle video
  • naked porne babes
  • alison sweeney naked picture
  • Big tits in sports audrey
  • self submitted teen videos
  • hardcore fat tube vids
  • Anal creampie movies
  • big beautiful girl movies
  • teen nude bald youg pussy
  • karen loves kate naked pics
  • dp pussy pics
  • teen sex blow hand finger movie
  • fuck a blond pussy
  • Hot nude indian
  • blonde milf mexican lesbian slutload
  • girls shaking their butts video
  • hd lesbian sex
  • Real home sex videos
  • freen nude teen pics
  • hermaphrodite butt sex
  • interracial mature porn
  • yellow asian porn
  • Meg ryan nude pics
  • mature elegant sophistied milf video
  • girlfriend cannot orgasm
  • la petite academy deltona fl
  • big tits video milf
  • free black mans bitch
  • swingers partys in delaware
  • interracial long tube porn
  • fuck dick sex man naked
  • Amateur pussy movies
  • free handjob video gallerie
  • Old man fucks a girl
  • red haried teen pussy
  • free ffm porn
  • lesbian video anal beads free download
  • pregnant pictures naked
  • hottest asian hd porn free
  • homemade couples video galleries
  • lee young ae korean actress
  • bikini thong video
  • free porn granny black
  • slutload black housewife
  • the shreer porn video
  • mare anal sex
  • womens ass stretch after anal
  • fat deep throat contest video
  • Big boobs sport
  • japanese family sex video
  • amateur wife home videos free
  • couples sex tape post
  • girl seduces girl videos
  • fuck teen pussy
  • little girl sex movies
  • couple having sex movie
  • naked girl videos tube
  • tranny bitch gallery
  • asian erotica xxx
  • free drunk passed out sex movies
  • young teen stripping girl videos
  • japanese girls and there feminized boyfriends
  • wives stripper suck dick movies
  • sex eduion for married couples
  • bangladeshi sex pics
  • teen rubing pussy
  • free amateur sex porno innocent
  • big asian boobs sex videos
  • Ladyboy sex photo
  • young teen boys pissing videos
  • dy hardcore sex
  • kristin davi sex video
  • chrisbrown naked pics
  • ebony male sex
  • interview black fuck porn wrong video
  • video voyeur amateur
  • young cheerleader blowjob
  • Big boob car wash
  • ebony and white girls fight
  • porn video sights
  • free carmen electra porn movies
  • thai taught daughter suck dick
  • hot teen girls kissing panties
  • black mature wild
  • infocus girl jaquelin movies
  • hottest chic pussy
  • com in pussy
  • anime tight fuck teens
  • horney teen hispanic girls
  • videos anime girl
  • sex and the mature adult
  • girl moaning sex orgasm
  • teen girl gaze
  • nonude topless model young
  • chicks without dicks
  • young teens suck cock tits
  • Big booty cherokee d ass
  • nude teen tit girls
  • porn movies free eskimotube
  • movie about handicap girl in alps
  • new age japanese girls
  • black sexual love poems
  • laura linney free porn movies
  • teen girl sucks boyfriend in kitchen
  • young teen nude porn pics
  • young flatchested girls
  • video porn man girl
  • norah sex pictures
  • erotic boat sex videos
  • lesbian sex movies fantasies for free
  • office ass istant video
  • teen sexy girls pussies
  • amateur bondage slave free videos
  • free very young girl have sex
  • sexy nude mature amateurs
  • little girl lesbian sex
  • jessica biels ass movie adam sandler
  • sexy glamor babes
  • pictures of african womens breasts
  • How to masturbate less
  • Ebony teens anal
  • young crazy party girls slut teen
  • beautiful blonde sucks dick
  • free lesbian porn download for psp
  • hot wet sis sex xxx
  • quick time videos of naked women
  • big ass anal
  • jayna james sex pics
  • lesbians finger fuck
  • pigtail braces teens first blowjob
  • free interracial group porn pics
  • Jr teen nude pageant
  • lady sonia free handjob video
  • cole hamels wife playboy pictures
  • pictures of medium haircuts for teens
  • Piercing on vagina
  • high quality pictures of naked celebs
  • can you suck you own dick
  • fratpad fuck videos